The Non-Fan Review // Ospreay vs. Ricochet from BOSJ XXIII (Day 6)

He who chases two rabbits catches neither.
- Japanese proverb

And that’s the major problem with this wrestling match: THE COMBATANTS ARE WAY TOO SODDING FAST! Seriously, this match is like the Flash made a baby with the Road Runner and that baby was christened by Usain Bolt with Billy Whizz and Cheetara from Thundercats as godparents. And then that baby was turned into a wrestling match. Allow me to elaborate:

Let’s go back to May of 2016; unlike me at that time, you were probably not furiously learning the best man's speech to my brother's wedding (it all rhymed, it needed extra rehearsal!), so you’re probably in better shape than I am to go to New Japan Pro Wrestling Best of the Super Junior XXIII (what a snappy title).

This Japanese show is such a subdued affair compared to the American extravaganzas we’re used to seeing: the arena is small but exceptionally well lit. Far from holding up signs about liking boobies or offering fish sandwiches, this crowd is extraordinarily controlled, sitting and clapping politely along with the music. But most gregarious of all: THERE IS NO COMMENTARY. I mean it: no odd observances from old chaps in cowboys hats, just silence.

Sorry, but this IS professional wrestling, isn’t it? Not a competitive sewing circle?

At this point, with zero fanfare, out walks our first hero: dressed like Adam Ant taking part in an am dram production of “The Mikado”, he’s a blonde chap with a union flag around his shoulders. Keeping the British end up - I approve. Chewing gum, shaking hands with the polite audience and doing little jigs, our hero poses like Darkwing Duck in front of the ropes, then does an impressive flip into the ring. The announcer in the ring gives him a hero’s introduction: “WIRU OSSUPURAE!” That’s Will Ospreay, a strangely-spelt raptor from Essex. Not much fake tan or “OH SHAAAAT AAAAAP YA FILFY CAAAAAAH” about this lad though.

But now the music gets more guitar-y and in dances our other fighter. His outfit of red y-fronts, Wonder Woman boots and a leather waistcoat is complemented nicely by his Matthew Corbett beard and big, shiny belt (I think it’s a prize of some description). Stopping constantly on his way to the ring to clench his fist and point at random people like a male Eurovision singer, he finally leaps into the ring and starts breakdancing. The announcer can hardly contain his excitement: “RIKOSHAE!” Ricochet is an American. But we aren’t holding it against him, he can’t help it.

* * *

A single wooden “tonk” sound means we’re off. After prowling around each other like lions for several seconds, the two finally get stuck in and grapple: Ricochet gets Will in a wrist lock. This is a VERY GOOD MOVE: the first thing I learned in my self-defence course from Sensei Gary was how easy it is to break an attacker’s wrist; but Will is no amateur, he does elaborate rolls and twirls on the floor to take the pressure off, like a disco caterpillar. But then Will bounces up, trips his foe over and gets him in an ankle lock, triumphantly saying “WHOO!” like a hyperactive Thomas the Tank Engine.

Ricochet flips out of this predicament but Will isn’t finished: he tries bending the colonial over his shoulders like that one scene in Men in Black II. (Am I the only one who remembers that film? Thought so. You’re missing nothing.) But beardy-weirdy isn’t standing for that! He rolls out of it and stares Will down, while making his nipples dance for the crowd. Alas, Will sadly can’t do this trick.

(It’s also one of the few I haven’t mastered either, though I can wiggle my ears and move each eyebrow independently. I can be booked for birthdays and weddings.)

But enough of party tricks: Will gets Ricochet in a headlock, only for the latter to pull the former’s hair and make him shriek “REF!”

Hang on - so kicking each other in the bollocks, hitting each other with furniture AND tearing off each other’s clothing is totally fine in wrestling, but PULLING HAIR IS AGAINST THE RULES???? Meh, the ref isn’t bothered either way so I’ll follow suit and watch the two combatants fight.

Sorry, did I say “fight”? I meant “bounce off the ropes constantly and flip over and under each other for a good 45 seconds like Power Rangers on ecstasy”.

I’m honestly not sure what I’m watching right now.

Somehow, Will crawls over Ricochet like a centipede - you have to see this to believe it - and flips him, but the American bounces back. Then, for some reason unknown to man, both combatants choose that moment to cartwheel into the ropes, backflip and land in the middle of the ring like Spider-Man. All in perfect synchronisation.

Is this how the Japanese like their wrestling, with sprinkles of Super Sentai-style aerobics? Because from my western point of view, it’s just going to tire them out quicker!
In fact, they really ARE tired after that little display: they square off to each other like kids in a schoolyard, then just stand still for a good 24 seconds.

Until Ricochet kicks Will in the goolies and slaps his face, to the ref’s disapproval. Finally, 5 minutes and 41 seconds in it’s more like a wrestling match rather than a West End musical!
Ricochet gives Will a pimp-slap, causing the Brit to emit “OOH YOU BASTARD.” Will is my spirit animal.

More twirling kicks and landing dramatically between the pair and Will gains the upper hand, pinning his adversary: ONE, TWO - nope, not over yet.

Creatively, Will puts his rival in an interesting hold where he clings to his back and pulls one arm up; if Will had just tickled him under the arm at this point, the match would be over with 7 minutes. Sadly, Will lacks my imagination and just grinds his fist into his enemy’s side. But Ricochet wriggles out and does a flip while holding Will’s head, so the Essex boy rolls out of the ring with a hearty “FACKIN ELLLLLLLLLL”. (I might have made up that last quote.)
Ricochet somersaults out of the ring and into Will, even making contact with the fans. In the west, H&S would have a heart murmur at this idea; Japanese fans seem to love it though. They’re a hardy breed, these Super Junior fans.

Shoving Will back in, Ricochet dives in over the ropes and ends up head butting Will’s chest while so doing, leading the Essex wonder to scream “YOU MOTHERFUCKER”. Mouth of trucker, this one. I wonder how many Japanese fans were introduced to naughty language from this match alone? But Ricochet isn’t finished! He presses his booty on Will’s collarbone, making his little legs wiggle like a six-year-old’s. Cute.

A few more blows, triumphant nipple-wiggles and a hearty “come on, Will” from Ricochet finally galvanise the limey to get up and punch his foe in the dong, only to end up being having his back hurt against Ricochet’s knee like Bane did to Batman. But that’s not all: Ricochet immediately stamps on the air around Will’s head, which somehow hurts Will’s eye.

How frightfully odd.

More elbowing each other’s faces and flipping about like Zebedee until Will jumps off the ropes and punches Ricochet with a hearty “PIP PIP CHEERIO, MOTHERFUCKER!” #britbantz
The American rolls out of the ring but the Briton flips onto hm, again making contact with audience members; I notice this time there are people with yellow t-shirts acting as human shields for the audience.

Then Will gives the camera a big, sweaty kiss. I have no idea how to process it and I need to ask myself some very searching questions.

Will drags Ricochet back in and they both seem to have sore backs suddenly; trying to get each other in locks, they’re both looking a little peaky. After a couple more attempts at getting each other in a lock, and kicking each other’s faces like Hero Turtles, the referee stands over the air, rolling around in agony, and shrugs. I admire this “I don’t really give a toss” attitude.

They both stumble out the ring and take turns in kicking each other in the face; once they’re supine on the floor, barely moving, the ref again comes over and seems indifferent.
But NO! The referee is slowly counting: “ONE, TWO, THREE…” Is the match over if they’re out of the ring for a certain amount of time? Well, they’re rolling on the floor, seemingly hardly capable of movement. Yet magically when the ref says “NINETEEN” they both leap into the ring like gazelles. CONVENIENT…

More blows exchanged, though the pair are certainly tired. Getting the upper hand, Ricochet is face-first in the canvas with his bum sticking out. Will pulls a face that says “I SHALL FEAST ON HIS ARSE!” and tries to bear hug him, only to be kicked away. This is a strange one.
They’re so tired and it’s getting infectious. Bet they regret those OTT gymnastics now! They take turns in trying to pin each other and even simultaneously pin each other at one point - would that have been a draw?

But in the end, it’s Will who jumps off the corner and pulls down Ricochet’s head, dazing him enough for a ONE TWO THREE - and it’s finally over!

So from first impressions, Japanese wrestling is much more subdued. I’m not entirely convinced this is a good thing: it’s much faster than any other match I’ve seen to date but harder to follow.

Ah well, at least Essex finally has a trophy to call its own.

FINAL SCORE: 3/10

Watashi wa Essex-jin desu.

Next time for Nicholas // Kane vs. Raven vs. The Big Show for the Hardcore Championship (WWF WrestleMania X-7) 

Written by Nicholas Peat // @NPChilla 

The Non-Fan Review // Mysterio vs. Guerrero from Halloween Havoc '97

So far, I've seen Hulk Hogan fight an actual giant; I've seen blood in the ring; I've seen Vince McMahon shaved, the unstoppable Undertaker, the women of wrestling - even Santa Claus had a go. But those are all heavyweights (well, maybe not the women). Now it's time to see what the lighter wrestlers are up to. They're athletic, they're keen, they want to show what they can do. How different can it be?

First, a chap in purple lycra emerges from a graveyard. Fireworks go off around him. This is Rey Mysterio Jr. He reminds me of a cartoon superhero I saw years ago, called the Phantom. On the other side, Eddie Guerrero appears, wearing shiny metal trousers and a smirk. He ain't popular. The trousers alone may be responsible for that.

The two wrestlers seem to be fighting over... a mask? Well, whatever. Makes as much sense as fighting over a belt (which I think is also at stake). Rey gives a spare mask to a boy in the audience. Couldn't he just give one to Eddie and save all the hassle?

So far, this is wrestling as it always has been - flashy and over the top. A good start!

The match begins. We have a few moments of trash talking before Eddie throws a punch. Rey ducks, clobbers him back and then all hell breaks loose. Rey Mysterio Jr seems to think he's Spiderman, leaping over his opponent, throwing backflips off the ropes and even reversing a throw in midair. When he does end up on his back, he sends Eddie flying with a well-timed push from both legs.

I'd like to see Hulk Hogan try to pull off these moves. He'd probably break a hip - and not the other guy's.

More gymnastics ensue as the two collide against the ropes. I'm not sure who tried that charge but they both go spinning over the top of the ropes and Eddie lands hard. Rey goes one better - while his opponent is getting up, he bounces off the far ropes, flips over the top of the near ones and attempts to land on top of him.

It seems his purple spider sense isn't working for him, as he misses his mark and Eddie slings him down onto the floor. A kick to keep him down, and then Eddie runs him around the ring and into the steel steps. Ouch! When will they put some padding on those?? Eddie isn't done - he chucks Rey back into the ring, then mounts the rope and somersaults onto his opponent. Rey jerks in pain as his back takes the brunt.

Well, that's what you get for showing off, kids.

Eddie showboats to the booing crowd while Rey staggers to his feet. Eddie punches him, slaps him down again. Pulling Rey back up to his feet, Eddie slings him into the far ropes, clearly having never watched another wrestling match - predictably enough, Rey reverses the throw and it's Eddie that bounces off the ropes... and into a flying kick.

Rey is back, and the Ghost Who Walks has summoned the power of ten tigers (seriously, go watch that cartoon). He doesn't just bounce off once set of ropes - no, he bounces off TWO - and then he gets creative again. Eddie responds to his reverse-flip-starjump by snatching him out of the air and slamming him on the mat. Rey writhes in pain, again.

Eddie stands back for a moment, but it's clear that the other man isn't giving up. Eddie picks Rey up by his neck, lifts him up in the middle of the ring and drops him back down. As Rey sits up, Eddie shoves him back down and lies on top of him. One! Two! Thr- nope, he's moving again. The referee calls Eddie off. Eddie is displeased.

Time for another round of abuse. Once again, Rey is helped up by the head. He's slung into the ropes, then grabbed on the way back and thrown back down. Another pin! One! Two! Rey kicks out, and the hold is broken.

Eddie argues with the referee. Rey struggles to hold onto his mask as Eddie tugs at it, wanting to claim his prize regardless, and the referee merely shouts louder. But it seems to work. Eddie gives up and returns to wrestling with what seems little more than a lifesize ragdoll. And what better way to pick up your opponent than by giving him a wedgie?

Pinned under one arm, in a standing position, Rey seems helpless. Eddie can't resist tugging at that mask again. But it won't work - this mask is part of the whole suit! We really don't want to see Rey stripped of his entire outfit, do we?

Half a minute goes by, and then Eddie grows bored. Time to do something else - like pick Rey up, hold him over his head, then slam him down onto his knee. Rey sprawls. Eddie pulls him back from the ropes, flips him over and sits on top of him. The referee counts, but Rey kicks out. Eddie sits back down on him. Rey kicks out. And a third time. And a fourth. The commentators have lost interest at this point as they start talking about other wrestlers.

It's now clear that, having been unable to do anything of note for several minutes and apparently half dead, Rey is going to make a comeback and win the match.

Eddie's fifth (sixth? I lost count) pin is a little more adventurous - he decides to push off with his feet and kick Rey in the chest. Maybe then he'll lie still? But Rey seems to know it's coming - he plants his feet in Eddie's chest and kicks him away. What happens next is hard to describe - Eddie pulls him up, Rey jumps onto the top rope, then he somersaults back down and takes Eddie with him. Both hit the mat, both winded.

The two men get back up, Rey immediately bouncing off the ropes and kicking Eddie in the face with both feet. Eddie rolls out of the ring. Rey doesn't even wait for Eddie to get back in - he's bouncing off the ropes, ready to carry out some more deft gymnastics and jump onto Eddie as he returns to the ring - but Eddie slips in too early, Rey lands on empty ropes, and Eddie kicks him out in return.

They never learn. Stop showing off!

Eddie follows him out. He picks Rey up, shoves him into the metal railings. Eddie throws him back into the ring. Rey crawls away as Eddie strides in for the kill, opting for a squatting hold with Rey's arms across his legs and his back arched in a rather uncomfortable angle. Rey screams, not for the first time. And Eddie's ripping at that mask again - dude, no! You'll ruin it!

Eddie squeezes with both arms, trying to pop Rey's head off, but the referee breaks them up. Eddie picks Rey up, wearing him like a backpack - this is apparently the "Gory Special", named after Eddie's father, Mr Gory. I'm not sure what the idea behind it is as it doesn't seem to be causing any harm - and then Rey suddenly flips off his back and throws Eddie over his head!

As Eddie gets up, the Ghost Who Walks aims a flying kick with both feet - and misses. Eddie's kick to the back of Rey's head doesn't miss.

Eddie follows up with a complicated move that doesn't seem to do anything, picking Rey up and dropping him again in a staggered descent while he drops to one knee. Rey looks finished anyway; Eddie rolls him onto his side and tries to pull his arm off, one knee planted in Rey's back and one leg tucked behind his other arm. This carries on for another remarkably long time.

Rey, unable to perform his trademark gymnastics, returns to his trademark screaming.

Eddie seems to grow bored and lets him go. Rey rolls away, but Eddie soon pulls him back to his feet. Another complex move takes place - Eddie throws Rey into the ropes, then drops to the floor as Rey runs over the top of him, then slams into him as he bounces off the opposite ropes. Another pin takes place, but Rey kicks out straight away - probably because those hideous trousers ended up right in his face. Those things could get a reaction out of a corpse.

The referee separates them. Eddie pulls Rey up by the mask, whacks his head into the corner of the ropes, then slaps him in the chops for good measure. Rey falls to his knees. Eddie lands another punch, but Rey blocks the next and lands one of his own. The two slap each other a few more times and then suddenly Eddie's in the corner and Rey is elbowing him repeatedly in the face. I'll say this for Phantom Rey - he goes down quickly but he comes back just as quickly.

Slap! Eddie is reeling. Rey grabs his arm and throws him towards the centre of the ring, but Eddie reverses it and Rey gets a kick in the keks for his trouble. Eddie then runs him towards the far corner and Rey tries to pull a somersault off at the worst possible time - he ends up hanging from the corner by his feet, arms twitching like a crazed spider. Eddie wastes no time kicking him in the chest while he's vulnerable.

The commentators seem to think that Rey is trapped and cannot get out of this position (by, for example, lifting his feet off the top rope). Eddie grins, a smirk so wide the top of his head is in danger of falling off. He walks to the far corner. If he had a moustache he could twirl, he would be twirling it like crazy right now. He runs to the corner, feet ready to deliver a fatal kick to Rey's helpless body.

Rey pulls his upper body away from the mat, and Eddie slides into the corner post. The only fatalities are the contents of his trousers. Hey, bloodstains could only improve them.

Eddie staggers painfully out of the ring. Rey unhooks himself (trapped, indeed!) and climbs onto the top rope, ready to leap - and he does! More like a flying fox than a tiger (or a purple spider, come to that). He collides with Eddie, and Eddie collides with the railings that keep the audience away. Both stagger upright, but Rey is first to recover and throws a backhanded punch to Eddie's face.

Eddie is thrown gracelessly back into the ring, and Rey follows. Rey picks him up and throws him into the ropes. Which, predictably enough, leads to a reversal! Eddie switches roles, sending Rey flying into the ropes instead, and grabbing him on the return. Rey goes up, Eddie throws him down, and then... double reversal! Rey flips in midair, lands on his feet and leaps crotch first into Eddie's face. He somersaults end over end, landing with Eddie underneath him. Pinned! The referee counts - 1! 2! And Eddie kicks free.

Rey turns to find Eddie running towards him. A mighty arm slams the purple spider phantom back onto the mat. While Rey gets his breath back, Eddie and the referee have a brief discussion. I have no idea what about, but one hopes it might be fashion tips. Those trousers are giving me a headache.

Rey seems dazed now. Eddie throws him into the ropes, bouncing him off and towards the far ones, but suddenly Rey is awake again. He jumps onto the ropes, using them as a springboard to somersault over Eddie's head and land behind him. This is followed by another complicated string of movements - Rey leaps for Eddie, Eddie dodges, Rey grabs the ropes, Eddie grabs his legs and spins him around, Rey grabs the ropes again, Eddie gets flipped over the ropes and out of the ring. This whole sequence takes about five seconds at most.

Rey goes for another unwise attempt to bounce off the far ropes and leap onto his opponent. This time it actually works - the two men go spinning into the railings, Eddie taking a bash to the head while the Amazing Spider-Phantom has a slightly softer landing. It takes a moment for both men to get back to their feet, and it's Rey half walking, half dragging Eddie back into the ring. Eddie gets to his feet while Rey climbs the ropes.

Sigh. More trick shots. This one is apparently called a corkscrew. Rey spins backwards into the other guy and they both go sprawling. But when Rey goes for a pin, Eddie comes back to his senses. The hold is broken. They both seem to take a moment to catch their breath. Sorry, guys, you'll both have to keep going a little longer!

Rey almost gently helps Eddie back up. Then he's picking the man up, and chucking him back down. I don't know whether he has the strength left for any more fancy moves. Or maybe he does - he climbs the ropes, then flips backward onto Eddie - who raises his legs at a pivotal moment and sends Rey sprawling. Eddie responds to these showy gymnastics by picking him up, sitting him on his shoulders and slamming him down onto the mat. There's another one of Eddie's weird pins, this time with his head between Rey's legs (any attempt to describe it further will only sound weird, so you'll just have to see for yourself). But Rey kicks out, and Eddie is shoved away.

We're coming to the end now, and it looks like Eddie and his terrible trousers are going home with a new mask after all. Eddie picks Rey up like a rag doll, then runs into the corner post with him. Rey cries out on impact. As Eddie walks to the far corner, ready for another charge, Rey can only stagger slowly and painfully to his feet. Eddie charges in, screaming, but Rey is more alert than he looks - he drops down and sends Eddie flying over him, head first into the post. Ouch.

Eddie seems surprisingly intact, but is still unable to resist when Rey leaps backwards with the back of his fist in Eddie's face. Quite why Rey feels the need to fall over as well I don't know. Rey is up and raring to go again - an astonishing recovery - and he's going to try something stupid, signally to the referee and crowd with some arcane finger twiddling. As Eddie rises to his knees, the Amazing Spider-Phantom makes an agile leap onto the top ropes.

Rey leaps into Eddie's waiting arms. Rey hits the mat, Eddie apparently wondering what the hell just happened. Oh well. Eddie decides to do something stupid himself. (The commentary suggests this is going to be a "frog splash" or something like that - is Rey about to croak?) Eddie climbs the ropes, and LEAPS across half the ring. Rey simply rolls out of the way.

Eddie recovers fairly well, rolling on impact and soon back on his feet, but Rey is already charging for him. But his attack - apparently an attempt to suffocate Eddie with his underwear in a flying leap - goes awry AGAIN. Eddie pushes him up and over his head, and Rey lands astride that corner post by his delicates.

Before he has chance to recover, Eddie is climbing up behind him for a hug. Or maybe not. Rey throws his elbow back to dislodge the unwelcome advances of his opponent - no means no, Eddie - and a few punches eventually do dislodge him. Eddie changes his approach, sitting back to back with the Mysterious One and lifting him up, up, up... it's time for a throw! The two men tumble to the mat, but it's Rey on top when they land. One mighty leg hold and a three second count later, the bell rings - it's over!

Rey "The Phantom" Mysterio has, incredibly, managed to win the title. The referee hands him the customary belt. And then WHAM! Eddie's back, and he's MAD. He grabs Rey's mask again, still tugging as the two men spiral back into the middle of the ring, and Rey is flung out, still clutching his new belt. Eddie stands in the ring and gets booed; Rey, however, has what he came for and strides purposefully (but quickly) for the exit. I don't really blame him.

Summary: This is what happens when wrestlers see "The Matrix" - they start leaping about the place and pulling off somersaults. And, like most of these showy tricks, they usually go wrong. If you want to win a wrestling match, it seems the best tactic is to be boring.

It also looks like the winner of most of these bouts is the one with more fashion sense, though that usually isn't saying much.

----

I also had the opportunity to watch Nick's match, the 2016 NJPW bout between Will "Captain Britain" Ospreay (flashy and ridiculous) and Ricochet (tattooed bad boy in beard and not quite enough leather - he looked less naked when he took the leathers off and stood in his red undies).

Rey Mysterio Jr loves his gymnastics, while Steady Eddie seemed to prefer a more traditional wrestling style. Here we have two Reys at once - they leap over each other, spinning in cartwheels and somersaults, more an elaborate dance than a wrestling match. It's fast, it's flashy, it's a much more complex arrangement than Rey and Eddie, and I got the sense that the two men were performing together more than fighting each other.

It's a thrilling watch, but it's also bristling with humour. There's overacting aplenty. There's actual SWEARING (you'd never get language like Will's on WWE). There's even spitting! But the funniest moment for me was when both men struck each other with a roundhouse kick to the head at the same time - and both hit the mat at the same time straight after.

But maybe there's more going on between these two than we know. At the end, as they squared up and shook hands, I wasn't sure whether they were going to come to blows one last time or kiss...

Next up for Andrew // Jimmy Havoc & Clint Margera vs. Rickey Shane Page & Drew Parker in DEATHHOUSE from Fight Club: Pro Project Mayhem VI - Night One.

Release Date - 20th March 2018

Written by Andrew Williams // @ADW_Author

The Merch Table - October 2017

So, my name is Craig Hermit and I'm back with The Merch Desk. This month we are looking at a wide variety of merch including products from WWE, SPLX, Fight Club: PRO, Will Ospreay, The Ringside Perspective and Pro Wrestling EVE.

WWE

This month, WWE released their new Women's Fall Collection and I've had a look at some of the excellent NEW ranges.

Alexa Bliss "Twisted Bliss" Boat Neck Sportiqe Long Sleeve T-Shirt.

£35.00

Sizes - S - XL

http://euroshop.wwe.com/en_GB/alexa-bliss-twisted-bliss-boat-neck-sportiqe-long-sleeve-t-shirt/L20025.html?dwvar_L20025_color=Black#start=7

Seth Rollins "Burn it Down" Red Women's Authentic T-Shirt.

£22.00

Sizes - S - 2XL

http://euroshop.wwe.com/en_GB/seth-rollins-burn-it-down-red-womens-authentic-t-shirt/V30038.html?dwvar_V30038_color=Red#start=10

Carmella "Fabulous" Lightweight Hoodie Sweatshirt.

£44.00

Sizes - S - 2XL

http://euroshop.wwe.com/en_GB/carmella-fabolous-lightweight-hoodie-sweatshirt/W12840.html?dwvar_W12840_color=Black#start=77

Asuka "Tomorrow Brings Danger" Women's V-Neck Authentic T-Shirt.

£22.00

Sizes - S - 2XL

http://euroshop.wwe.com/en_GB/asuka-tomorrow-brings-danger-womens-v-neck-authentic-t-shirt/W10725.html?dwvar_W10725_color=Silver#start=153

SPLX Apparel

Towards the end of September, SPLX Apparel released their first ever Women's Range. From T-shirts to Leggings the new range certainly focuses on you getting your best performance whether it be in the gym, outside or wherever you feel comfortable working out but you'll be doing it with a flair of style too.

SPLX WOMENS LOGO T-SHIRT

£17.99

Sizes - S - XL

http://store.suplexapparel.com/product/splx-womens-logo-t-shirt

SPLX WOMENS CAPRI LEGGINGS

£17.99

Sizes - S -XL 

http://store.suplexapparel.com/product/splx-womens-capri-leggings

SPLX BLACK SPORTS BRA

£27.99

Sizes - S - L

http://store.suplexapparel.com/product/splx-black-sports-bra

SPLX WOMENS CAMO CROPPED HOODIE

£32.99

Sizes - S - XL

http://store.suplexapparel.com/product/splx-womens-camo-cropped-hoodie

FIGHT CLUB: PRO

Night One and Two of FCP 8th Anniversary extraordinary weekend has finally been released and damn it's one that worth the wait. With an incredible card on both nights this is a DVD that should be in your collection.

PROJECT MAYHEM VI (DVD)

Night One - £15.00

Night Two - £15.00

Both Nights - £25.00

http://fightclubpro.bigcartel.com/product/project-mayhem-vi-dvd

WILL OSPREAY

Limited photo cards from the excellent Portrait of a Wrestler, from the Clockwork Orange shoot. Definitely if you're a fan you should certainly have a look at Will Ospreay Big Cartel page.

POW PHOTO CARD

£10.00

http://willospreay.bigcartel.com/product/will-ospreay-pow-photo-card

The Ringside Perspective.

"A luxury, high quality book of the three most intense days in trios tag team action, held for the first time in the UK! Over 50 pages filled with exclusive content including detailed portraits, high energy action shots, backstage candids, interviews, stories and more from the wild ride of a weekend."

I couldn't say it any better myself.

Chikara King Of Trios 2017 PHOTOBOOK

£20.00

http://ringsideperspective.bigcartel.com/product/chikara-king-of-trios-2017-photobook

An awesome Portrait of the WWE and Independent Wrestling trio signed by a three members of British Stong Style themselves. Limited to 10.

SIGNED British Strong Style Portrait Print LIMITED EDITION

£15.00

http://ringsideperspective.bigcartel.com/product/signed-british-strong-style-portrait-print-limited-edition

Pro Wrestling EVE

They are the promotion that has been featured in everything from Buzzfeed all the way to the BBC. With exciting wrestling and an intimate setup at wrestling shows, it is understandable why fans are drawn to the events.

EVE Fight Like A Girl Fitted T-Shirt

£15.00

Sizes - M - 2XL

http://www.evewrestling.com/product/eve-fight-like-a-girl-fitted-t-shirt/

So that was this month, hopefully see you in a fortnight with another Merch Desk.

Article by Craig Hermit

A Conversation with "Session Moth" Martina

ATPW recently got the chance to talk with "Session Moth" Martina (recorded 14th September 2017), this is that talk/conversation/interview. We talked about seeing red at NORTH, the appeal of Over the Top Wrestling, breaking into fresh markets, the wonder that is Fight Club: Pro and so much more. Let's get on with it, here it is, enjoy.

ATPW: I wanted to start by asking how you were following that match at NORTH? [Martina was busted open during a match at NORTH on 9th September]

Martina: Oh I'm fine! It looked a lot worse than it was, which is a good thing, in a way. I just did a dive, the footage should be up soon enough. I'm pretty sure NORTH put out their matches for free, they just put it up on YouTube. I just smacked heads with "Flash" Morgan Webster and instantly I saw blood and I thought it was him. I felt the bang obviously, but I was like "Are you okay?", then I realised it was me. It was very scary for a minute, because it wasn't a little bit of blood, it just started gushing. I checked my teeth and I checked my nose and I had so much blood in my eye at this point that I thought maybe I burst an eyeball or something. Once I blinked it out, I was like "Okay, I don't know what it is, but I can keep going". So we just kept going. People were handing me clothes and once it was out of my eyes and I knew I could see and I remembered everything and I was good to go. So, I carried on. It was a shock more than anything else, seeing that much blood, but once I knew I was okay, it was actually quite fun to work with and to power through. I'm very lucky at the same time, because it could have been crucial. 

ATPW: I suppose, that as long as you're okay, then it sort of adds something to the match...

SMM: Yeah, as it went along and we were doing brawls in the crowd, I could hear the crowd being like "Oh my God, she's a trooper!". I know it's very scary as well, being a female, in the ring, in the main event with three boys. It'd be more shocking to the crowd seeing a girl bleed. Regardless of gender, it's shocking to the crowd when they see blood, but I think being the girl in the match, they were probably like "Oh my God!", because everyone's a little more sympathetic towards women.

ATPW: We see don't blood that much these days, anyway. Especially, women, that's really rare. Then even more so because it was an intergender match...

SMM: Yeah, I remember, the promoter, instantly, before he knew it was all okay, he got worried about that. He was like "Oh no, is this okay?". But once it was fine, in a way, it gained me a lot of respect on Twitter and stuff like that and the crowd went home ridiculously happy and they were like "Oh my God, that was brilliant" and we ended up having a really good match and I was happy with it. 

Credit - The Ropes Photography

ATPW: Let's start the interview proper with wrestling interview question #1, which is...How did you get into professional wrestling and what made you fan? 

SMM: I'd always been a fan, since I was young. Me and my brothers used to watch wrestling growing up and around the time when everyone one lost interest or everyone fell out of love with WWF/WWE, I didn't. I was the only one in my circle that still liked it, but you know, life moved on and I did new things and hung around new people. Then I got a little bit older, I was out with my friends one time and something came up, when we were all out drinking and I was like "Do you remember Stone Cold? The Rock? Chris Jericho?" and we just ended up talking about a load of WWF memories. When I got home I went on YouTube and just started looking up all the old stuff and I was like "Oh my God, this is great!" and then fell into a loop of it and ended up becoming obsessed with it all over again.

The obsession just got bigger and then eventually, I never thought I would do it, because I was a lot bigger back then, I was a big girl, but I just loved wrestling, I looked up something about Irish wrestling and saw that there was a school that did it. I thought "Ah that's cool", so I looked it up on Facebook and I thought I'd love to that one day and put it to the back of my head. Then I met the guy who ran the school, by chance, because my next door neighbour was friends with him. So, we ended up meeting and I said to him one night "I'd love to do it, but I wouldn't have the balls to do it". The next day I had a message from him, saying "I set up a class for you, come down and give it a go" and I was like "Ah no, I won't be able to do it" but then I just said "Ah fuck it, I'll give it a go". Then I got in the ring and I did the few little bits and I was probably absolutely terrible, but I said "Okay, I actually like this". That was about seven years ago.

ATPW: So when you began wrestling as Kazza G, mostly in Ireland, what was the scene like back then in 2011/12? 

SMM: Compared to now it was dead. There wasn't much going on. When I first started training my training school had just started running shows and I was their ring announcer on the first few shows. Eventually, they said "Okay, you're ready to wrestle, we're gonna put you in a battle royale" and there was no other girls training at this point so I was in there with the guys from the get go. Once I debuted it just sort of took of. I remember another promotion that did smaller shows, but they were all around Ireland, they used to travel all the time, because there was so few women, he booked me for every show! So from the start I was wrestling every weekend, because of that place and my home training school shows. They got better as it went along, it was still the one big show in Dublin once a month and then we do these smaller shows around the country. But it was the same, it was very old, camp style, boo-yay kind of wrestling, but it was great experience for getting me comfortable in front of a crowd. I wasn't doing anything to the degree I do now, I was either a basic heel or a basic face, but it was great to have that amount of experience in front of a crowd and get comfortable, wrestling all the time and improving in-ring. But, looking at the scene then compared to now, it's insane to see the difference, but I think that's the same for British wrestling and Irish wrestling all the same, all sorts of indepdent wrestling has just exploded over the last few years.

ATPW: Over the Top Wrestling (OTT) started in 2014 and you were on the very first show...

SMM: Yeah, I was Kazza on that show. I'd done a fair bit now as Kazza. I'd wrestling in Switzerland and I'd won a belt in Belgium and I'd wrestled for every promotion in Ireland, so it wasn't a case of where I didn't do anything before Martina. I did a lot and I got a lot of respect in Ireland and obviously winning a belt in Belgium was a big deal and even flying over to a different country from Ireland was very rare. I definitely had experience under my belt before OTT began.

I wrestled the first show as Kazza G. The first show did have such a special air to it and everybody knew that something special was happening here. I kinda just knew straight off "wrestling as Kazza isn't gonna do it", because we had such eccentric characters on the show. The Wards were the main guys, who were a stable of characters, then we had the Lads from the Flats, who were a stable of characters. So I was in Germany for the second show, so I wasn't on that, so then I came back and I was there for the next one but I wasn't on it. I was like "Nah, gotta do something different, something's gotta change". So I was like "I'll go with the Lads from the Flats", because they were like "They need a girl with them". So I said to myself "I'm gonna need to be like a townie girl" because who would the Lads from the Flats hang out with and I thought "A Session Moth is such a popular term in Ireland right now" because a Session Moth is pretty much a townie girl. They go to clubs, they drink, they just want to party, they're real common and just want to have fun. That's all the care about. So then I thought "What would a Session Moth wear? She'd wear pajamas!" They're the ones that go, hungover the next morning, they go to the shop in their pajamas. So then I got leopard print pajamas, because leopard prints so tacky! I was like "I'll wear hoop earrings and I'll come out with the Lads from the Flats and we'll have a rave and we'll just drink and we'll do this". That was the beginning of the character and as time went on I just kept adding things to it and started to get to know Martina and fell in love with everything about her, because it was just so much fun to do. The comedy wrestling aspect just made me fall in love with wrestling all over again, because I was going out there and making a fool of myself and having so much fun.

ATPW: What do you think has made OTT stand out as a promotion in Ireland? Because it was probably the first Irish promotion that came on my radar, as a fan in England. 

SMM: I dunno. I think it's obviously I think everyone looked over at Ireland and they didn't see much, because there wasn't any "adult shows", lets say, because it was all kids shows. If you ever saw any photos or film, growing up, it was kids in the crowd. Then OTT began and it was geared towards adults, it was Over 18s and people drink at it and it was such adult content, like myself and Lads for the Flats and stuff like that. We didn't have any British wrestlers on our first few shows, except for Pete Dunne and Ryan Smile, they've been with us since the start. I met Pete and Ryan years ago in another promotion in Ireland, a small kids show again, so we've all known them a very long time and we've been friends for a very long time. So they were already known to us, so when they came over and obviously Pete started getting more exposure as the years went on. Pete would always go back home and say "There's this great place in Ireland called OTT" and he loved it there because he was so over and got his job done so well. As time went on it just became word of mouth and then social media and then obviously we started booking more British wrestlers and our production values started increasing...it was kinda the same way any of the big promotions got to be big promotions, people just started catching on and saying "Oh wow, look at that".

I think what makes OTT stand out to all the other British promotions, even now is our character content is very original and our comedy aspect are very original. There's a mix of characters, you'll have your comedy, you'll have you highflying matches, you'll have your big man matches, there's literally something for everyone. We always like to do different thing and I like to think you'll see matches in OTT that you won't see anywhere else. 

ATPW: Yeah I've seen a lot of interesting and different stuff from OTT, mainly on YouTube and social media. I think that's the stuff that catches peoples attention and goes on to catch even more attention...

SMM: Yeah, I remember a show last year, it was the show that Will Ospreay debuted on, but we had the characters from Father Ted on the show and they were involved in the same match that I was in. So it just became this big thing and the video went viral around Ireland, because everyone was like "Oh my God, it's Father Ted in wrestling!". So I was asked to be on the national TV station for it, along with the promoter, so that was really good exposure for us and obviously Will loved it, so then Will started talking about it and telling people about it and again with Pete. It had all these great aspects with and it did really boom from then on. 

ATPW: So from OTT, you started coming to the UK in 2016, initially with PCW, how was that initial experience? 

SMM: Yeah that was my first UK booking, which was quite huge at the time, because I remember people saying "Will the UK get the gimmick? Will they understand it, because it's so Irish?" And that was my fear with it and as well I wouldn't say I would know Martina as well as I do now. I wouldn't even have wrestled as much as I do now. Oh my God, I can't even remember when it was. I didn't have much more since then, but towards the end of the year last year I started getting more exposure and then before I knew it, I had to leave a job. I've been booked in the UK, I think it's been two weekends this year that I haven't wrestled, which is insane, because looking at my life last year where I was working for OTT once a month and that was it because all them kids shows had stopped. There wasn't anything happening, so it was literally just OTT. So I was wrestling once a month last year and I was looking at all my British friends I'd made, who were wrestling every weekend and I got really jealous and I was like "That's what I want! That's what I want!". Then last year just kind of boomed and I've been so lucky this year.

ATPW: You talked a little bit there about a worry that the gimmick might not have translated when you came over the UK. In December, you're working in Canada, do you have similar kind of feelings about that? (This has since been cancelled after the company turned out to be a bag of shite)

SMM: I always worried about that. I worried about that wrestling in mainland Europe as well, but then I wrestled in Germany and it got ridiculously over and I'm debuting for wXw at the end of the month and I've got a fair few dates with them for the rest of the year. I think, maybe my spoken comedy may not translate for a lot of them, but I think people just get it, when they see me drinking beer and they see me dancing, I think regardless of what it is you can understand it. I think I've toned it, to where...because I have a lot of followers from Canada and America and even Japan, that have really gotten on board with it and seem to love it. So I guess it's just going over and make the best showing that I can. 

ATPW: Have you ever had a situation where you've gone out and the crowd has gone for it? 

SMM: No, I think the majority of places that I've been have really, really taken to it, which I'm very lucky to say. There, of course, might be the case were you do one joke and it might not get the reaction you hoped it would, but usually you can cover it up pretty well, so that's fine. I've always gotten a very, very good reception. I think one of the hardest places I've worked, because I know they have mixed feelings is ICW. My character is always you love or you hate me and they're always very strong on either side of that. Which is fine and I perfectly accept that, because it is such a strong gimmick, that you can't be indecisive about it, you either like it or you don't. I mainly find it from Scotland people, "I'm not really a fan", but it's very rare that I get that, so I'm lucky. 

ATPW: I think with ICW there's very much a case of "shades of grey" with how the crowd react to things...

SMM: I always think that they're very much in favour of homegrown talent and I think that was it. I did notice, because I've been there for most of the year, as time went on they were warming to me the more they saw of me. So it definitely did get better towards the last few of them, but at the start it was difficult, because I think they weren't decided on if they wanted just plain wrestling or if they wanted a character. I think overtime they've started to grow to like the character. Especially because I like to give Martina a lot of backstory and it's not black and white, there's a lot to it. I'll always be like "Oh no, this is about Martina, this is what Martina would do, she's mad like this. This time she's going to approach it with her drinking, this time she's going to approach it with her sex, this time she's going to do it because she's angry" I like to think that there's a lot to her. 

Credit - Jamie Spaul

ATPW: It sounds like you spend a lot of time thinking about what your character would do in each situation? 

SMM: In every situation. Say it's a title match, I'm not gonna be full of jokes this time or I might be at the start but by the end of it, maybe you've pissed me off and maybe I'm gonna kill ya for it! I look so much into Martina, if you ever see me on Twitter that's why I'm always saying I've got so many kids and the number keeps changing and that's just a joke I play, even for myself, but people seem to love it and people seem to jump on it. That's the whole thing, I like to pretend I'm this mother to a million kids and I don't know any of the Dads, so it's like I'm trying to make a living, so that's what I'm doing! It just makes it a lot more fun it you actually have something when you actually have something, when you're going out there and changing into a different person. Maybe I'm fighting this girl because she's pissed me off or she's slagged what I'm wearing and I'm thinking "Bitch, I'm wearing better than you!" 

ATPW: I wanted to talk a little bit about a promotion that I got to a lot, Fight Club: PRO...

SMM: Oh my favourite! It is my absolute home from home. OTT is my home, of course and it's my all-time favourite, but Fight Club in the UK is my home from home, I adore that place. I look forward to it every month. 

ATPW: I think on your first show, when you came in and went to bar, there was a sense "What's going on here?" and then it's just sort of snowballed into a story with Shay and all sorts of stuff...

SMM: I think it was a case of I was very friendly with everyone in Fight Club and I knew they really liked my character and I know Fight Club didn't really do comedy before I came along and that's one thing they always said to me. Once I did get out there and actually did start having matches, they were like "We really like the dynamic that you're bringing to the table", because they have their insane dream matches all the time, sometimes it can be nice to just get out there and the crowd just have a laugh. They have great women talent when they come in, but the great thing about Fight Club is they only book the best, they're not just going to throw away a match. It's always going to top notch, when you're going and I think they really liked the idea that I could get in there and it's the place where...at the London show, it was such a mad scramble where it had the UK Champion and a Session Moth and Jack Sexsmith and Eddie Dennis and Jordan Devlin, the big head, thirsty to prove himself and Millie McKenzie and Charlie Evans, just all of us in the same match and everyones just looking around and thinking "What? This is such a clash of different people, what the hell is this?". I never thought I'd be in the same ring as the WWE UK Champion, we're two different sides of a card, but it happened and it was so much, it was one of the funnest matches that I've ever had, because it was just so ridiculous, but there was so much wrestling and there was so many moves and there was so many comedy spots. It was just the perfect snowball of a match and I loved it! 

Credit - The Ringside Perspective

ATPW: I was gutted I missed that weekend, I think it was the first FCP show I'd missed in a couple of years...

SMM: My match with Dan Moloney, that was another different side to me there. I went in laughing and joking, but by the end of the match he'd been beating me up so I was angry and Shay was angry. So that showed even a little bit of a different side, it's the evolution of the character. 

ATPW: It's certainly a different kind of story to what FCP had been telling previously. 

SMM: It's all based around the fact that nobody had noticed that Dan Moloney was undefeated in Fight Club and he'd never been pinned, but it's all coming around.

ATPW: If someone hadn't seen your work, what would show them to win them over to the Session Moth?

SMM: Oh wow. I'd probably show them my promos to start off with. I'd show them my highlights video at the start, that's just different clips of me doing moves and dancing to my entrance song. That kind of gives a jist about what I'm about, all over. I like my promos that I've done, I remember my very first promo. It's so long ago now, but I just pretended I'd got my pay from the social and I was going out to buy my kids food, but I ended up going out and partying all over town instead. I liked the last promo I did for ICW, for my hen night, where I just had a mad night out, with the lads. Because what else would you do on a hen? Another one where I was hitch hiking to ICW. My favourite one as well, after ICW's fanpage blew saying I'd set women's wrestling back five years, I did a promo addressing and it was called "Public Service Announcement by Session Moth Martina" and I just did a short public service announcement outside a courtroom. That was fun.

Match-wise, I really enjoyed my PROGRESS debut match with Dahlia Black, and TK Cooper ringside. I just think that was a great mix, it was just fun. The story was that I was trying to steal Dahlia's fella, because that's what I do and it just gave me the perfect opportunity to tell that story. Because yeah, I'm gonna steal her fella and she's gonna hate me for it and that's why she's beating me up and I just want him and she's not gonna get in the way of that. I really like that match, the crowd were fantastic. I love mine and Shay's "Fans Bring the Alcohol" match, I thought that was just so much fun. It was just mad. That's what I love. I'd also show that eight person scramble. Then a million ones from OTT, where you could just show my wrestling matches. I love my ones with Alex Windsor, I love my ScrapperMania matches.

Credit - Rob Brazier Photography

Yeah, there's loads, there's always different stories to tell. That's one thing I really like, that I can flip the penny. Another thing I really like is that everytime I have a match, I try to do something different, something a little bit out there, something unseen and something that you wouldn't expect. One thing I've started doing recently is calling myself a hardcore wrestling, but only having sweet fights. I'm just beating people up with sweets because it makes no sense and that's what I'm about! I just like to have fun and do something that you won't see anywhere else, you won't see another woman do it, that's for sure, you probably won't even see a man do it.

ATPW: Let's talk about goals, short term, what would you like to do? Then long time, what would like to do in the next five or ten years?

SMM: Well, in five or ten years I probably shouldn't be wrestling any more! I suppose, my goal this time last year was to get booked in the UK and I've done that. Then I had a list of promotions that ideally, before I was booked anywhere, where I was like "I want to get here" and I've debuted for every single one of them, which is such an honour. I'd love to get to somewhere outside of Europe and I'm meant to be going to Canada, I might have some other stuff in the pipeline coming up. It's pretty surreal sitting there and literally seeing your dreams come true. Little things that you've set for yourself, it's very overwhelming. It's crazy, really, because I never ever thought it would happened so far. I guess coming to end of this year, I just want to keep it going. I always want to stay at Fight Club, that would just be the place that I always want to go every month. If I've got them every month and OTT, then I'd be happy, but of course, I just want to keep wrestling, I want to continue to be someone recognisable on the scene and liked on the scene and requested to be around. To stay in demand, I guess, would be the main thing for now. Long term, I've definitely got goals and as I say some of them are coming true, which is surreal and you'll see as it unfolds. Just stay relevant is my main thing, just stay relevant and don't be boring. That's why I do everything in my power not to be boring.

ATPW: I think if there's one word someone wouldn't use to describe Martina it would be boring! To close, where can people find you online and anything else you'd like to add?

@Mothfromdaflats on Twitter. Session Moth Martina on Instagram and the Facebook like page. Buy my merch. Just keep an eye out and hopefully I'll see you on a show, just dance with me when I ask you to dance with me and bring me beer! That's all I ask.

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Well, that was a lot of fun! Seriously, I had a blast recording this and I hope that comes across. I feel like we only scratched the surface with Martina in this interview and hopefully we'll get the chance to chat again later down the line. A big thanks to Martina for taking the time out to do this!

Article by James Marston