Opinion: WWE - How Much is Too Much?

With the brand split and the ever-growing NXT, WWE has a lot of shows to keep up with. There's Raw on Monday, Smackdown on Tuesday, NXT on a Wednesday, then there's a pay-per-view each month from each of them, then there's Main Event, Total Divas and a tonne of other shows to watch on the Network...AAAAAAH. That's a lot of content to be keeping up with, even if you are only watching Raw and Smackdown.  

Now I'm not here to talk about the logistics of it, or how much money it'll be making them/losing them; I'm not qualified to do so and I'm not daft enough to even pretend that I understand the runnings of a multi-million dollar corporation and the logic behind what they do and what they broadcast. As a fan though, and as someone who has kept up with them religiously for the past 5 or 6 years I do have to ask...how much is too much? 

I've tried to look at it from an adult perspective; it's certainly going to be hard work keeping up with the three main brands that they have if you're working full-time or are in full-time education. Keeping up with three shows a week is going to be extremely difficult, especially if you intend on watching them all live; that's a lot of sleep you're gonna be missing out on and I've found that as I've gotten older, going into work on a few hours sleep just ain't kosher. I'm old, I like my sleep and the cold weather hurts my hip, what can I say?  Then there's the PPVs; if you have work on a Monday morning (I did up until very recently) then you've not got a lot of options if you want to watch it live. You can get the day off but if you want to do that for every PPV then you're not gonna have any holidays left for anything else, or you can try and struggle through a full shift on a few hours sleep (which I again don't recommend at all). Of course you can always just wait and watch it the next day like I used to do but for the people that hate missing it live then I'm afraid you don't have much of a choice, either way doing whatever you're gonna do twice/three times a month is gonna be a lot harder than doing it just the once. Trying to balance full-time work/study plus a social life PLUS your passion for wrestling is extremely tough and not everyone is going to be able to do it with the amount of content that's available to us.

Of course, from the other side of the fence, if you've already been keeping up with Raw, Smackdown and NXT before the brand split then it's really only an extra PPV per month that you're needing to watch. Some might not see it as that big of a deal but considering that the ratings are dwindling for WWE in general it just seems like it's a lot for people to be keeping track of. It doesn't help that almost all of the major wrestling companies and a lot of the bigger indy companies all have their own versions of the Network to keep up with too; when they're putting out more interesting stories than what the WWE are providing us with then of course people are going to switch their interests elsewhere, especially if they only have a set period of time to watch wrestling each week like most of us do. If you keep up with your local wrestling scene then that takes even more time out of your schedule, whether you're attending shows or watching them online. That's been the big one for me; I much prefer going to live shows now than I do watching them on TV/online. 

What I've found works for me is just watching the PPVs and doing a monthly catch up of NXT. I don't watch any of Raw and Smackdown (and if I do it's usually because someone has told me that it's a particularly good show) and I don't watch the PPVs live because I always end up falling asleep two matches in and need to watch the rest of it the next day anyway. I've found something that works for me and I'm sure that you lot have found something that works for you, whether it's watching it all live or doing something similar to what I do. I just feel that there's so much content being put out by WWE that it's too much for me to keep interest in anymore.  

Let me know what you think, do you agree with me and think that there's too much to bother with now or are you quite happy with the amount of content that WWE are broadcasting?  Do you even, dare I say, want even more programmes from them?  You can tweet me @LestrangeLock with your thoughts or send me Howlers in the post, whatever's easiest.  

Words - Lily Lestrange
Images - James Marston

Product Review: August's Wrestle Crate

So I try to change it up a bit each month with my guest blogs and I realise I've done a few Wrestle Crate reviews now... BUT GUYS.  I CAN'T HELP IT.  They're so good.  So here's a review of the August crate; last month was the first month since they started that I've not ordered a crate and it made me hella sad and hella mad seeing what I missed out on, so I made sure that I wasn't going to miss out again... And I wasn't disappointed!

It seems to be a standard that they send you at least either two shirts and a DVD or a shirt and two DVDs with the Ultimate crate... Well this month we've gotten two of each.  What lucky wee sausages we are eh?  In total the Ultimate subscribers got two shirts, two DVDs, a little book, a badge, a coaster and an A4 print (which is another thing that seems to be guaranteed every month).

Let's start with the shirts, shall we?  They're at the usual standard of quality that they usually send out; good quality cotton shirts, a nice quality print and accurate sizing.   

We knew we would be getting a Progress item this month and I was expecting it to be a DVD but finding that it was this nifty t-shirt was just as good; Progress is one of the most popular and fast-growing promotions in the UK and certainly one with a loyal fanbase, so I can imagine a LOT of people were happy to see this when they got their crates.  

The second t-shirt is a tribute to luchador wrestling and a sly dig to THAT Kalisto promo (he's here to make a, uh, eh... Lucha thing).  To be fair Kalisto himself said that WWE should start making Lucha Thing shirts so Wrestle Crate have just gotten in there before him. As nice as the design is I'm not a fan of the bright orange (purely because my hair's usually bright orange so I can't wear it for fear of completely turning into a giant satsuma) and I've been a good pal and donated it to my mate who's a bigger fan of Kalisto than myself.

So we have a ROH 14th Anniversary DVD and The Best of LCW Volume 1.  I'll be honest; I don't think I've watched any of the DVDs I've received in my crates, purely because there aren't enough hours in the day to keep up with all the decent wrestling promotions but hopefully I will get round to them one day.  Who knows, I might even make a new blog project out of it. The ROH I imagine will be as good as any other product they've put out before and I've never heard of LCW until now so it's another new promotion to be introduced to which I always love.  They seem to have booked a few big names on this particular DVD so I look forward to watching them... whenever that may be.

Probably one of my favourite items in this crate, an exclusive signed Billy Gunn print by Erle Tompkins.  Erle also done the artwork for my Dusty Rhodes article in Calling Spots (absolute SHAMELESS self-promotion) so naturally I'm a big fan. I love the exclusive prints that we get in the crates, be it drawings or promotional photos; I like collecting them all like Pogs or Pokemon cards (really showing my age here).  I've got mad hoarder tendencies so giving me new things to collect is both a blessing and a curse so cheers Wrestle Crate!

This is a fun and interesting wee book that was also included in the crate.  It's an A-Z of gimmick matches and they didn't hold back on the creativity when coming up with some of these.  My favourites include A, the "anus explosion death match" and Y, the "Yokohoma Piranha death match", both of which are as gruesome as they sound.  Some of them are a lot tamer than those two so if any of you can find any actual real examples of those two matches then hit ya gurl up. 

I sighed when I saw this, not because of what it is but because I can imagine people flipping out at Wrestle Crate daring to include an item relating to what they believe to be the most hated wrestler in the world right now.  If you think that way then well, give yourself a wee shake because there's worse things that could happen to you.  Aaaaanyway, it's a nice wee bit of artwork on a foam coaster and I'll be using it alongside either my Triple H water bottle or my Hart family mug.  The artist wasn't specified but it's a nice art style and hopefully we see more quirky little items like it in future crates.

And last but not least we have this cute little badge!

Playing on the whole "Netflix and chill" patter that all you darned kids are coming out with these days, the badge reads "Network and Chill" (I'd assume it's plain to see but my phone camera is probably boggin because all of these photos came out slightly blurred).  Again, I'll be adding it to my wee collection of badges that I've gotten from crates past; I think we've had 4 so far including this one?  It's definitely the cutest one we've received so far anyway.

And that's all for this month's crate!  It was up to their usual standard of great and varied content and they seem to want to include even more stuff each month for us which is nice.  Although I'm really running out of storage space for DVDs and t-shirts because of it so if they want to include a wrestling themed storage unit in next month's crate then that would be greeeeeat.  

If you like what you see in this crate you can subscribe to the Ultimate Crate for £21.99 a month plus shipping on their website: http://www.wrestlecrate.co.uk.

All content - Lily Lestrange 

Event Review: ICW Shug's House Party III

On Sunday ICW held their 3rd Shug's House Party event at a sold out ABC Glasgow.  Shugs is always a mental event; it has a previous for old faces showing up and booting baws, new faces showing up and booting baws and... Yeah you guessed it, someone getting their baws booted.  This event was no different, except it was being broadcast worldwide for the very first time on iPPV via the Fite Network.  So loads of different countries got to experience the joy of watching all this baw booting live as if it were happening right in front of them.  Splendid.

Before the tag match, The Wee Man came out and had a moan about Davey Blaze, fat kids and about how his ma never loved him as a child... or something.  He had a wee moan then joined the commentary desk with Billy Kirkwood and William Grange. 

ICW Tag Team Championship Final: Bird and Boar vs. Local Fire

I'll be honest, I didn't care about this match when it was announced.  I've had little to no interest in the tag division since Polo Promotions left the Barrowlands with the belts never to be seen again.  As much as I think Local Fire are comedy genius I didn't care much for it because in my head they weren't fighting for real belts.  The real belts were probably draped over the side of Captain Jack's boat as the boysies sipped Cristal and smoked Cubans somewhere in the Caribbean.  

I was surprised to hear that Bird and Boar beat The 55 to secure their place in the final in Birmingham because I'd have put money on them being in the final against either Filthy Generation or Local Fire given their history with the belts and their previous (current?) owners.  Since that feud had been laid to rest before the departure of Polo Promotions I didn't mind seeing some new faces in the battle for the new belts.

Despite the belt situation this was a good match. Davey and Joe made their entrance to their own version of Bad Touch and came out in wee bear onesies, then when they took them off for their formal introduction they were very rudely attacked by Bird and Boar.  SO rude.

At first Joe and Davey were tagging in and out, doing a few wee nifty tag moves to Wild Boar but once they got Davey in the ring on his own they focused on taking out his injured leg from the night before and keeping him away from Joe.  They've been screwed out of the titles once before in Cardiff when they won them then had the decision reversed by our wonderful (read: cuntface) GM Red Lightning; you could see the determination from both of them that they weren't about to be fucked over again for those belts.  Davey managed to tag Joe Hendry and he done a beautiful double fall away slam to his opponents.  He seems to have gotten bored of lifting just the one guy and tossing them about like a sock in a tumble dryer and is aiming to throw about as many people as he can carry now.  When it seemed like Bird and Boar had the advantage, Boar missed a spear on Davey and ended up smacking his shoulder off the turnbuckle instead, then when he turned round was met with a spear in return from Davey.  Joe and Davey took advantage in the drop in momentum and they delivered a double Freak of Nature; Joe then pinned Wild Boar for the win, making Local Fire the new ICW Tag Team Champions.

Or, are they... ?

The Local Fire theme cuts out, there's silence, and then... could it be?

YES.  The crest comes up on screen, the infamous Scott Walker song plays and out they come; Jackie Polo and Mark Coffey are back, baybay!  With the original tag belts strapped around their waists 'n' all.  Instead of going for their normal pink and purple attire they've strutted out looking like Che Guevara and Fidel Castro; two revolutionaries who fought against the machine for the greater good, much like what Mark and Jackie seem to be looking to do with ICW.  Mark's last words before departing at the last Barrowlands show was that they would rather leave standing than stay on their knees and it looks like they've came back not only to reclaim the titles that are still technically theirs but to fight the power and restore ICW back to it's former glory.  

They saunter down to the ring and face off with Local Fire but security come between the two to stop any fight from happening.  Jackie and Mark, without uttering one word into a microphone, walk back up the ramp, hold up their tag titles and then walk through the curtain and who knows when we'll see them again; I just hope it's not as long as their last absence. 

ICW Zero G Championship Match: Lionheart (c) vs. Kenny Williams

This match has been a long time coming for Lionheart and Kenny.  After Lionheart feigned another neck injury during the 2015 Fringe shows just so he could catch Kenny off-guard and superkick him in the chops, the two have been interfering with each other's matches (and general happiness) ever since.  Kenny wants his belt back and to teach his former pal a lesson.

The tension, the absolute hatred that they have for each other could be felt from start to finish; just as Kenny was making his entrance, Lionheart came out and whacked him with a chair then proceeded to batter him down to the ring.  Lionheart missed a dropkick and Kenny took advantage and tried to get a quick pin but was unsuccessful, so he slung him out of the ring and Lionheart ended up over the barrier into the crowd.  The camera cuts to them fighting near the bar then of course, as many ICW matches end up doing, they were fighting ON the bar; Kenny smacks Lionheart's head off of the sign above the bar, then climbs on top of it (a good 15ft above the ground) and moonsaults off of it, crashing into Lionheart and a bunch of unfortunate ring crew members.  They exchange punches after getting up and Kenny attempts another moonsault off of a wall that separates the bar from the standing area but before he manages it Lionheart pushes him off of it, climbs on it and hits Kenny with his own moonsault.  They're fighting good and they're fighting dirty!

They end up back in the ring and continue to frantically knock lumps out of each other and try to pin the other but they're trying so hard to get each other out of the way as quickly as possible that they're just not succeeding.  Kenny ends up running into Lionheart's boot and as Lionheart climbs the turnbuckle Kenny hits him with an enziguri then attempts to head scissor him back onto the mat but Lionheart refuses to move and looks like he's trying to Styles Clash Kenny from the turnbuckle, which is absolute fucking madness.  Luckily Kenny finally gets him down by completing the head scissor and the pace continues to be as fast paced as ever with them trying to pin one another again and again but to no avail.  Lionheart out of pure frustration ends up picking Kenny up and throwing him against the turnbuckle and as he runs at him in the corner Kenny hits Lionheart with a superkick of his own; it would just rub salt in the wounds if he got beaten with his own move.  Kenny climbs the turnbuckle to hit Lionheart with his signature Springsteen McQueen and pins Lionheart for the apparent win.  Once Kenny's moved though we see that Lionheart's foot is on the ropes but Kenny's music is already playing.  Referee Sean Mclaughlin hands Kenny the belt but senior referee Thomas Kearins makes his way into the ring and shows Sean what's happened.  With little choice, the match is restarted.  As Kenny turns around Lionheart sticks his middle finger up at him and superkicks Kenny in the face and immediately pins him but Kenny kicks out at two. Not taking any risks, Lionheart superkicks him again then immediately hits him with a Rock Bottom and then a frog splash before pinning him for the last time in this match and retaining the Zero G title.

This match was meant to be the end of this feud but not only has it not ended it, it's only added more fuel to the fire.  Who knows what sneaky tactics Lionheart will use to keep that belt for a bit longer and to further double cross his former pal.

This next segment was probably one of the most pointless things that I've seen at ICW.  People claim that the first This Is Your Life segment with Jackie Polo at the first Shug's Hoose Party was one of the worst segments but this one took the biscuit.  Liam Thomson and Debbie Sharpe come to the ring and he declares his love for her and attempts to propose to her but Debbie stops him and says that she is in love with someone else; her best friend and fellow Bae Club member, Sammi Jayne.  Sammi comes to the ring and tells Debbie that she loves her but only as a friend.  Liam pushes Debbie and goes to attack Sammi but the screens bring up an old-style countdown timer and an image saying "House of Saynt" appears.  Out comes ex-Gatecrasher Christopher Saynt with an entourage of drag queens and they have a bit of a pointless shout-off before one of the queens slaps LT and Saynt kicks him in the head.  It took far too long for this segment to happen and it didn't make a whole lot of sense.  It was a shame seeing four great talents wasted at such a big event; at least we'll get to see some good wrestling out of their feud in the shows to come and hopefully Saynt will bring his queens because who doesn't love a drag queen?

Steel Cage Match: DCT vs. Bram

This is another match from the night that had been a long-time coming.  The feud between Bram and DCT has been ongoing from last year's SHP when Bram and his pals interrupted DCT's wedding and Bram ended up piledriving his wife Viper through her own wedding cake, slapping her arse before doing it to add insult to injury.  DCT, being the chivalrous shagger that he is, wasn't going to let that lie and they've been fighting on and off until tonight.  Whoever gets left behind in that cage is going to be left in pieces. 

DCT comes out first accompanied by Cooooooooooooach Trip, then when Bram starts to make his entrance DCT leaves the cage and starts laying into Bram.  They have a brief sparring match in the crowd then they enter the cage which is locked by one of the officials.  They fight back and forth pretty equally and at one point it looks like Bram is about to do what he done to Viper the year before and positions DCT for the piledriver, giving DCT's arse a slap before he attempts it but thankfully DCT throws Bram over his head to avoid the same fate that Viper met, except there was no cake to cushion the fall.  DCT then dropkicks Bram into the ropes and Bram's arms get wrapped around the ropes and he ends up stuck.  DCT begins to punch rapidly into Bram's big hairy noggin which the referee tries to stop and he ends up getting punched in the face as well.  Purely by accident of course, right DCT?

Next thing we know, Black Label's Flex Hunter comes out and begins to beat down on Coach and DCT can only look on and watch as he's locked in with nowhere to go.  He attempts to unlock the cage door to try and help his comrade but Flex gets there first and slams the door into DCT's head and enters the cage to help Bram escape from the ropes.  Flex starts kicking into DCT and Bram gets up to join him so it begins to look bleak for DCT... but next thing we know, Viper is making her way down to the cage to try and rescue her man-sel in distress.  Since the cage door was shut again and being a rationally thinking woman, she only had one choice; she began to scale the outside of the cage wall and literally jumped to DCT's rescue by falling on top of DCT and Bram, knocking everyone down to the mat.  Everyone loves Viper so it was difficult to watch her throw herself from such a height but she's tough as nails and didn't do herself an injury from the looks of it.  Meanwhile Coach had opened the door again and got rid of Flex, so taking his chance DCT began to climb the cage wall to make his escape and win the match.  However just as he was about to jump down on to the ground, he had a mad glint in his eye and started to climb back into the cage, much to the dismay of the screaming fans.  He jumps back down and begins to fight Bram again; Bram kicks DCT in the balls and given that 90% of DCT's power comes from his plums (it used to be his moustache but now that's gone, it all had to go somewhere) he was down for quite a bit.  Bram started to climb the cage wall but thankfully DCT recovered quick enough to stop him; he climbed the ropes, grabbed Bram and managed to scoop slam him from the top of the cage!  Easily the biggest scoop in the history of scoops.

DCT climbs the cage and for a  second time, he stops just as he's about to win and climbs back into the cage. By this point we were all blue in the face from screaming because of how intense it was, we just wanted DCT to climb out and win but DCT is a bigger man than that.  Climbing out of a cage and leaving your opponent fully intact in the centre of it isn't going to end a feud.  If he wanted to finish this, truly finish this then he had to go back in there and make an example of Bram.  And so he did; Coach passed DCT his trusty polo mallet through the cage and he had Bram asking for mercy before he went "nah, fuck you mate" and smacked him square in the face with it anyway.  In the final flourish to his masterpiece, DCT dragged up the badly beaten Bram, positioned him for a piledriver, gave his arse a good ol' smacking and by god he piledrived Bram right into that mat.  Needless to say, as soon as he covered Bram we knew it was over and sure enough, the ref counted three and DCT could breathe easy; it was finally done.  Bram was done, the match was done and DCT could go on his merry way and celebrate with Mrs DCT and his ol' pal Coach.  Before that though, Viper decided to exact a bit of revenge and piledrived Bram as well for good measure.  It was the perfect redemption for the both of them.

Team Dallas vs. Team Black Label 

The stipulation of this match was that if team Dallas won, Red Lightning would sign over 1% of the company to Mark Dallas, making them equal partners.  However if team Black Label won then Dallas would have to sign over ALL of his shares, making Lightning the sole owner of ICW.  Given how ICW has been since Lightning took over, it was looking pretty bleak if he were to win.

Team Black Label was made up of Drew Galloway, Jack Jester and Wolfgang.  Team Dallas only had two members announced so far; Grado and Noam Dar.  As they all came out to the ring, team Label were accompanied by Lionheart and Sha Shamuels whilst Team Dallas were accompanied by Sweeney, Scott Reid and Toal.  Team Label were all in the ring whilst team Dallas were on the stage; Dallas was talking about the third member of his team, and that because Chris Renfrew wasn't allowed to be in his team he had to look to elsewhere.  Grado then took to the mic and explained that the biggest rivalries turn into the biggest friendships, so the third member of Team Dallas would be...

Sha Samuels!

Well, he didn't say Sha, but Sha started to lay into his former allies in the middle of the ring and it all kicked off from there.  There was so much going on in this match that it was hard to keep up with; wrestlers were flinging themselves off the ropes and out of the ring onto other groups of wrestlers, different members of each team were ganging up and just battering each other.  It was madness, beautiful madness.  Much like the other matches of the night it was intense as there was so much to lose on both sides.

At one point Drew and Red Lightning were on the stage beating up Dallas, just as an extra big "fuck you" to the fans and everyone else that was against them at ICW.  There was just bodies lying everywhere, all over the ring and outside the ring.  Grado and Drew were fighting it out in the ring, with Drew trying to crush Grado's face with Jester's big metal dildo on the mat...

... then the lights cut out and the fans start to scream because they've no idea what's going on.  Seconds later the lights go up and it's none other than Chris Renfrew.  He throws up his signature N hand gesture and hits Drew with a Stone Cold Stoner then pushes Grado on top of Drew so that the referee can call the three count, making Team Dallas the winners and Mark Dallas an equal shareholder of ICW.

Tag Match: The Filthy Generation vs. BT Gunn and ???

BT Gunn's tag partner was yet to be announced but after he made his entrance it was revealed to be the ICW Women's Champion, Carmel.  The feud between this lot runs deep; Kay Lee Ray and Carmel have been feuding since the early days of ICW and BT holds a grudge against Kay Lee Ray and Stevie after they turned their backs on him and Renfrew.

There was a lot of fucking about and running around before BT Gunn decided "fuck it" and tossed KLR into the ring so that she could face Carmel.  They had a bit of a slap off and Carmel tried to get an early pin or three in after getting the upper hand on Kay Lee but it just wasn't happening.  Stevie slinked into the ring and tried to help KLR but BT Gunn was having none of it and intervened by trying to leave hand shaped indents on both Kay Lee and Stevie's chests.  Nothing beats a good ol' chop off, eh?

All four of them ended up in the ring, with KLR and Stevie in opposing corners and BT and Carmel running back and forth hitting them.  After their second run, KLR and Stevie managed to boot them in their faces and escape but instead of running and attacking their opponents they just ended up clotheslining one another. WHOOPSIDOODLES.

Carmel and KLR ended up fighting in the ring and Carmel tried to keep it clean but Stevie, as filthy as their tag name suggests, dragged her out of the ring by the feet to stop her getting the upper hand.  BT of course was having none of it so he and Stevie ended up chopping it out in the middle of the ring.  It ended up with all four of them back in the ring, with Kay Lee holding BT back so that Stevie could hit him with a chair but Carmel speared Stevie out of the way just before he could connect the chair with BT's skull.

After a lot of punches and a near fall, there's an intense moment where Stevie is about to end it with BT with a Canadian Destroyer but BT counters it and has Stevie strapped to his back about to plan his next move... but then KLR comes out of nowhere with the steel chair and smacks him in the face with it, making him drop Stevie and fall to the mat so that Stevie could go for the cover.  1,2,3... that was it over.  Filthy Generation won by using their dirty tactics once again.  Some may call it dirty, others call it smart... but from history we know that dirty tactics will only get you so far in wrestling.  We'll see if these two can defy history and make it to the top by continuing with the cheap shots and sneaky tactics.

Six-Man Tag Match: Moustache Mountain & Lewis Girvan vs. Legion

It's hard watching matches when you like every member of it.  You have your steady favourites but it hurts when you see them try to murder other wrestlers you have a soft spot for.  This rang true especially for every match that Trent Seven and Mikey Whiplash have had because I have an immense amount of respect for the both of them and, despite always usually siding with Whiplash, I still can't help but love the cheeky chappy that is Trent.  So despite being on Legion's side tonight I was crying internally throughout the whole match whenever they hurt any of their opponents.

The six men face off each other in the middle of the ring before launching an attack on each other.  It ends up with just Girvan and Whiplash who go back and forth until Girvan dropkicks Whiplash and they end up scrapping outside of the ring, leaving Michael Dante and Tyler Bates to battle it out.  Dante's a big, big lad but Bates held his own, superkicking Dante out of the ring to join his tag partner in a bit of cult-bashing.  This left Tommy End and Trent Seven to fight it off in a "let's see who can chop the chest/kick the head off of the other guy first" contest.  They have a marvellous exchange of slaps, punches and kicks before Tommy hits Trent with a brainbuster and attempts to climb the top rope but Girvan pushes him off before he can do anything.  Thus begins a series of suicide dives from both sides; Trent dives on top of Tommy, then they're joined by Whiplash, then Girvan.  Just as it looks like Dante is about to attempt a suicide dive, he goes and picks up Tyler Bates like he's the morning paper and throws him on top of the guys outside of the ring.  As if the big man's gonna do a suicide dive, right?

Wrong.  Dante goes over the top rope and crushes everyone and everything that's in the way, including his team mates.  They all somehow manage to get back into the ring and there's a flurry of moves between them all; Tommy managed to hit a double foot stomp on Girvan and all three Legion members covered him to try and get the pin but Trent and Bates managed to stop them.  Again all six men are in the ring, exchanging lariats and superkicks all over the place.  The pace slows down as Tommy and Lewis try to knock each other out, then with distractions from both sides Whiplash and Trent end up trying to chop each other to death.  Trent manages to piledrive Whiplash but fails to pin him as Whiplash kicks out then performs his Zombie Maker which Trent somehow, SOMEHOW kicks out of.

The pace quickens again as all six men end up back in the ring; Bates and Girvan manage to get Tommy and Dante out of the ring at opposites sides and each perform a suicide dive at either end, trying to make sure that the Sumerian Death Squad guys don't try to get back up to help Whiplash.  Sure enough, Trent and Whiplash are slugging it out on the ropes in the corner and Trent manages to do what he done a few nights previous and piledrives Whiplash FROM the ropes.  I sincerely hope he doesn't make a habit of doing it because it's absolutely terrifying to watch.  Whiplash was having none of it and kicked out at one but Trent planted him in the ground with an absolute belter of a lariat and that was enough to do the trick; Trent got the pin over Whiplash and made Moustache Mountain the winners.

All six men remain in the ring as Whiplash -after a few microphone issues and a Botchamania chant- takes to the mic and says that he did want to be in the main event of Fear and Loathing at the Hydro but now he doesn't; now he's saying that his former rival Trent Seven deserves it more. He wants Trent to fight for the ICW World Heavyweight Championship because "he fucking deserves it".  "It doesn't matter what them in the back want, it matters what you lot want"... and the crowd seemed to want it; they chanted on as Whiplash hugged Trent then raised his hand in the air.  Tommy and Dante followed in showing their respects.

Tommy took to the mic and announced that it doesn't matter where he goes, he carries all of his fans in his heart and wants to thank us for the last 3 years of support.  It was an emotional speech as I had no idea it was going to be his last match in ICW and the crowd showed him nothing but love as they all left the ring.  Sumerian Death Squad were a staple of the ICW tag team division and made it all the more exciting and interesting.  I hope wherever he goes NXT... eh, I mean next, I hope he conquers it like the warrior he is. 

ICW World Heavyweight Title Match: Damo (c) vs. Joe Coffey

                          

Every match of this show had been a long time coming, but none more so than this.  Joe Coffey has fought tooth and nail to get this opportunity.  He didn't walk into the company and have opportunities handed to him; he's had to work hard and work against the higher powers who have tried everything they can to get rid of him to get where he is tonight.  No-one, NO-ONE in the company deserves that belt more than Joe Coffey does.  

Joe's hunger for that belt has never been more evident than it is now; as soon as the bell rang he struck Damo with a missile dropkick then started pounding him with punches in the corner.  Damo reversed it momentarily but all Joe done was push him to the ground and continue his beatdown.  Damo rolled out of the ring and they continued their scrap on the outside and then into the crowd.  Damo, trying to restore a bit of control in the match, got Joe on the floor against the barrier and hit him with a rolling cannonball but Joe got back up and continued the scrap until they ended up back in the ring.  They punched back and forth until Damo lost it and irish whipped Joe into the corner with such force that it looked like it knocked the wind right out of Joe. Damo covered Joe but he kicked out; he wasn't going to give up that easily.  He's the fuckin' iron man, he's made of stronger stuff than that (mostly iron, a bit of paint and a lot of beard).

Joe got back up and got Damo on the mat; he looked like he was about to swing Damo (y'know, giant Damo, who makes Dante look like a cotton bud) about and sure enough he got a swing or two in before locking Damo into a boston crab but he quickly moved to the ropes so Joe had to let him out. He then attempts to piledrive Damo but Damo flings him over his back and begins to beat Joe down into the corner.  They take their fight to the centre of the ring and Damo, all 23 stone of him, stands on Joe's chest then falls down with a Belfast bump (which never gets easier to watch; that's a lot of Irish brute falling down on top of someone).  Joe jumps up straight away and after a few punches he manages to escape Damo and perform a springboard crossbody to knock the big man down.  They get back up and exchange punches until Damo is cornered, then performs two out of three of his signature "Hulk Busters" as Billy Kirkwood coined it but before the third one Damo managed to avoid it and threw Joe outside of the ropes onto the ring skirt.  Joe capitalised on this and made his way to the top rope and floored Damo with a spectacular missile dropkick to the head, making Damo roll out of the ring so that he could catch a breather.  They say there's no crying in baseball... well, there's no breathers in wrestling because Joe took the chance and threw himself over the top rope and on top of Damo, something we've never really seen from Joe Coffey before.  These are the new kinds of things you have to do and the risks you have to take to become the champion; Damo knows this and so do the champions before him.  

They get back in the ring again and Damo reverses Joe's attempt at a suplex, slams him off the ropes then on to the ground and performs another brutal Belfast bump on Joe.  You could see Damo's face and he was by no means done; if anything he was just getting angrier, and no-one wants to be in the ring with a raging, giant Irish man.  He powerbombs Joe, elbow drops him then tries to pin him but Joe is just as determined as him and kicks out at two. They get back up and have a tussle, Joe goes for a frogsplash (another new one from Joe) from the top rope and succeeds but fails to get the pin over Damo when he tries.  They both get back up and Damo brogue kicks Joe then goes for a cross body and then a pin but once again Joe kicks out.  Damo, obviously frustrated, gets Joe on his shoulders for an Ulster Plantation but Joe manages to struggle down and roll up Damo to try and get a quick pin but it just wasn't happening.  By this point the crowd's nerves were shot; it was anybody's game at this point and despite their exhaustion neither Joe or Damo were backing down. 

Joe gets back up and smashes Damo with a discus clothesline but when he tries to pin Damo he kicks out.  AGAIN.  He goes for a second discus clothesline but you can see Damo just think "nah, fuck this" and he headbutts Joe to stop him in his tracks.  He gets him in the corner, dropkicks him then asks an official for the belt and sticks it to Joe's upper body in an ultimate "fuck you, this is my belt and not only are you not getting it but I'm about to smash yer fuckin skull in with it" moment.  Damo then goes for the Coast to Coast which we've seen him devastate wrestlers with previously but it's not over for Joe; he springs up and uppercuts Damo as he's climbing the ropes then superplexes him off of the ropes.  It looked like that could be the end for Damo but no, he kicked out of a cover at two but you could see that both of them were on their last legs.  The end was nigh but it still wasn't clear who was going to walk out of there the champion.  

In what seemed like a final burst of energy, they began to uppercut and forearm the everloving fuck out of one another, with Damo once again brogue kicking Joe but Joe quickly shaking it off and attempting another clothesline.  Unfortunately for Joe, Damo was one step ahead and grappled him down to the ground to try and elbow him unconscious much like we saw in Belfast when he done the same with Chris Renfrew in order to become the champion.  Joe mustered every last ounce of energy he had and crawled to the ropes then threw himself to the ground outside of the ring to escape Damo's clutches.  Thomas Kearins approaches Joe and asks him in the microphone if he is able to continue the match... and with the determination that we have consistently seen from Joe from the very beginning, he roared "NO MERCY" and climbed back up to the ropes where Damo dragged him back into the ring.  Damo was looking to end it and booted Joe in the face before attempting and succeeding in performing the Ulster Plantation but Joe, somehow, managed to kick out at the last second.  Damo clambered over to Joe and began elbowing him in the head again but Joe struggled up and again somehow managed to enziguri kick Damo in the head then German suplex him.  Whilst Damo was dazed Joe ran the ropes then planted him with another discus clothesline, using absolutely every last bit of energy that he had to do so.  He covers Damo and the ref counts... THREE.  

FINALLY, after ALL of this time, the "Iron Man" Joe Coffey is our NEW ICW World Heavyweight Champion.  The crowd roar and beat their chests along to Joe's music as he's announced as the winner and new champion. The crowd begin to sing, there are people in the front row crying their eyes out with pure joy and Joe lays there trying not to get emotional and beating his chest feebly because he's finally done it.  He's reached the top against all odds, he's beaten the giant and he's conquered the world to become the champ.  Words cannot describe the atmosphere as people celebrate and both competitors struggle upright to say their thanks to one another.  Damo gets the mic and says that he's not the best in that locker room but Joe is.  He says he's his best friend and announces him as Joe Coffey, the World Heavyweight champion.  Damo is an aggressive, intimidating competitor but he always plays the game fair and he is always gracious no matter what happens.  He leaves the ring and kneels on the stage to show his respects...

And then it begins.

The Black Label come out and begin to attack Damo in his weakened state, with Joe not really noticing what's happened because they whisk him behind the curtain... and then the music hits.  That familiar howl of the wolf, and out comes Wolfgang with the briefcase.  He hands his case to Sean Mclaughlin and officially cashes in his Square Go briefcase.

ICW World Heavyweight Championship Match: Joe Coffey (c) vs. Wolfgang

No no no no no no no no.  Not not Wolfgang, please not now.  He's only just won the belt and he's completely gubbed from that last match, it's not fair.  Let him have his time.  

Of course it's not fair, since Wolfgang never plays fair; as soon as the bell rang he donned his infamous brass knuckles to try and end this quickly.  He swings and misses at Joe and Joe begins to punch Wolfgang then goes for a discus clothesline but Wolfgang reverses and slam dunks Joe then goes to the top rope for that deadly moonsault.  The crowd were screaming for Joe to move out of the way but it was no use; Wolfgang flew gracefully through the air and landed perfectly on Joe.  Wolfgang rolled him over to pin him but thankfully Joe kicked out at two.  He tried to feed off of the crowd's energy and encouragement for him so that he could get back up and fight; sure enough he dodged another punch with the brass knuckles and landed a clothesline, this could be it!  Joe could have won his first title defense minutes after just winning it!

The referee begins to count but before he gets to 3, GM Red Lightning comes out from backstage and pulls the ref out of the ring by the legs.  Joe tries to help the ref as Red Lightning is shouting at him and as he's doing so Wolfgang runs over, punches him in the gut then square in the face. Joe is knocked down and Wolfgang goes for the cover... and, sadly, manages to pin him for the three count.

The boos from the crowd are unbelievable, I've never heard anything like it.  The Black Label came out of course to celebrate Wolfgang's win and the crowd immediately began to fan out and leave as him and his pals all danced and cheered in the ring.  The dip in atmosphere was unbelievable, it was reminiscent of Wrestlemania 17 (ya'll know what I'm talking about).  It was equally disappointing as it was genius.  

Who knows what's going to happen with the title now; Red can't get away with his antics like he used to because he's not majority owner anymore, will Dallas interfere with what happened?  Is Wolfgang going to be our new long-term champion?  Who knows.  That's the beauty of it; no-one has a clue what's going to happen next and that's why everyone is going to keep attending shows, to find out what the dealio is. 

Overall the whole show was terrific, one of the best shows they've put on yet.  I say that about a lot of their shows but really, it was.  The build up to the matches was spot on, the matches themselves lived up to the hype and there were just so many emotional moments: Polo Promotions returning, Tommy End leaving, Joe winning then losing on the same night... it was a total rollercoaster.  If anyone knows how to keep their fanbase invested in a story, it's ICW.  It might have looked bleak for a while there but I'm sure we can all agree that it was worth the wait, yes?

All content by Lily Lestrange

Photo credit as always to the fantastic Mr David Wilson. 

Opinion: Top 10 Jobber Themes (Lily Lestrange)

I've only gone and written a bloody list.  What have I become?! 

I thought I'd switch it up a bit for this month's guest blog since I'm always writing stuff that's fairly serious and informative.  So why not be fun aunt Lily this month and write a list of my top ten favourite jobber themes?

Please note that I do say jobber but these guys all worked hard in the WWE, no matter how long they were there for... and none of them reeeeeally constitute as "jobbers" because they've all achieved something at some point (yes, even number 9) but fuck it.  My ball, my rules. Besides, I use the term as lovingly as possible! They're all in this list because their themes are catchy as fuck and if you've ever had the misfortune to be in my presence then I've probably sang at least one of these themes in your face. Enjoy.

10.  The Mountie

If you didn't watch wrestling in the 80s/early 90s then you probably won't know who this is... UNTIL NOW.  The Mountie's claim to fame in WWE was winning the Intercontinental Championship that one time and winning the tag titles four times (once with his brother and three times as part of The Quebecers). His grotesquely chirpy theme will have your leg jigging and will have you craving maple syrup over EVERYTHING in no time.  It doesn't help that it sounds like something that Trey Parker and Matt Stone have written for an especially Canadian episode of South Park.

9. The Great Khali 

Ah, Khali.  The Punjabi Playboy, our sweet prince of the desert.  Let's be honest, the greatest thing that he ever done in the WWE was sing happy birthday to John Cena and get swung around by Cesaro (he did feud with Triple H for the WWE title and he won the Heavyweight Championship that one time but let's not talk about that) but we love him for the big lug that he is anyway.  Or at least I did.  Now departed from the WWE, I hear Dixie's wanting to recruit him under the guise of "The Average Taj".  Anyway, his theme was bangin' and if it doesn't make you want to dance on a table and get your bhangra on then nothing will.

8. Zack Ryder 

This may come as a shock as you'd probably expect this of all jobber themes to be higher up in the list but nope.  As irritatingly catchy as it is there's better ones out there! I think this theme takes the award for most ridiculous lyrics of any theme song ever... and that's in a world where "Ass Man" exists. Another lyrical masterpiece of big Jim J.  

I think everyone still holds on to the hope that they'll make something magical of Ryder one day. We thought it was when he most recently won the IC championship but, well... we all know how that went. Just keep on drinkin them beers and chatting up them hot babes bro, your time will come one day.

7. Heidenrich  

What an absolute monster of a man, it's a shame that he was only with the WWE for 3 years. His career peaked with his feud with the Undertaker then it all went downhill from there when he became part of the new Legion of Doom (y'know, the one after the original one but before The Ascension who got papped with it and told to run with it). If you're into mash-ups then there's a brilliant one of this and Ryback's theme floating about the interwebs. Go have a look and let your life be changed for the best part of three minutes.

6. D'Lo Brown 

MA BOY D'LO.  He couldn't not be included in this list.  He did well for himself after leaving the Nation of Domination and had some tasty feuds with the likes of X-Pac, Mark Henry and Jeff Jarrett but when you look at how far his rivals went compared to what he's done then you realise he didn't quite go the distance. If he stuck around after 2003 (and he was released so this is through no fault of his own) he could have probably done a lot better but he's flitted between so many companies so many times that he's never stayed anywhere long enough to build a great feud with anyone. His fourth(?) theme was the best one and I'm willing to bet at least a few of you managed to bugger up your neck from trying to get on the d'lo with D'Lo and his theme. 

5. Santino Marella 

I've no idea what the fuck this guy is singing but it gets you pumped. I kid on to myself that it's the man himself singing it because no-one apart from WWE and Jim Johnston are credited for it (and I can't imagine Jimmy J having lungs like that on him). Santino was great though, I'm not really one for liking wrestlers with comedy gimmicks but Santino got me man, he got right in deep to my lil cold black heart. Much like Khali, I don't really remember him for his wrestling ability but more so the daft shit he got involved in, like when he was heel and was trying to tell all the kids that Santa wasn't real and the wee romance he had going with Emma. No matter what you remember him for, no-one will forget him power walking to the ring to this belter of a theme.

4. Rob Conway 

This was so close to being number one but I decided against it because there's other ones that I prefer over it but, I mean... how random is this theme?!  I love it. LOVE IT. Redneck country jobber realness.

His most memorable matches were probably when he was part of La Resistance and feuding with Edge and Benoit for the tag titles, which they won three times. After that La Resistance split and he became a singles competitor, where he became a redneck heel with a cowboy hat and a nifty handlebar moustache. He fought and feuded with a few other mid-card/jobber wrestlers then decided to pick on Flair for the IC championship one night on RAW, which was pretty much the beginning of the end of his WWE career. He lost every match after that then ended up being released in 2007. All is not lost though, because he moved on to NWA where he currently wrestles and is a two time NWA Heavyweight Champion, so all's well that ends well eh?

3. Shelton Benjamin 

Oh, he gonna bring it to ya because there ain't no stoppin' him, NAAAAAAW.  I think I'm pulling at straws a bit here by calling Shelton Benjamin a jobber since he won many a title with WWE. At best he was upper mid-card (given that he pinned Triple H clean twice back in the day, that was pretty special) but he's getting put in this list because I love this theme. He's probably jobbed to someone, somewhere, at some point in his life... maybe. Fuck it. Just listen to the damn song.

2. Chavo Guerrero 

Let's face it, Chavo's shining time in WWE was when he was tagging with Eddie. You're thinking it, I'm thinking it, we're all thinking it. He was a six-time Cruiserweight Champion too, then he went with that whole Kerwin White gimmick and I completely lost interest. I was never a huge Chavo fan when he was with WWE but he done well for himself in Lucha Underground and currently wrestles for AAA so he's doing not too shabby. His theme is ridiculously similar to Eddie's "Lie, Cheat and Steal" theme (the newer version, think it was the 9th theme) but it's one of my favourites regardless. I was desperate to hear the "OOOOOH CHAAAAAVOOOOO" hit at ICW when Chavo and Hardcore Holly were booked at other shows in Scotland at the same time but it sadly wasn't meant to be.

And now, we're finally here... number one!  I need a lie down now.  I need a nap and I need to be away from wrestling and wrestling themes now because I have listened to a fucking lot of them today. My ears hurt and I'm pretty sure one of my toenails is falling off because of the stress of it all. Maybe you expected this theme, maybe you didn't. I'd like to think that I've thrown a huge curveball and gave you something completely out of the blue but who knows.  Just enjoy.

1. Christian 

Now now now, before you kick off, hear me out. Christian's career is dazzling.  Blinding.  Sparkling.  MAGNIFIQUE.  At the peak of his career, that is. The last few years for Christian in the WWE haven't been so great; back in 2014 when he was wrestling he was always inserted into six-man tag matches or title matches like Elimination Chamber and Money In The Bank, purely because - I think - they didn't have anyone else that could fill the space at the time. His last match was in March 2014 against Del Rio, Sheamus and Ziggler then after that he wasn't seen in a ring again...then it was announced that he'd been released from his talent contract back in May, meaning he was still doing other stuff with WWE but just wasn't wrestling with them anymore. It's a shame given his history but a string of injuries lead him to this point.

NOW, the theme I want you to hear isn't his last theme that he used. No no no, I'm taking you back to 2001 with his "At Last" theme. Just... watch the video if you've never seen the titantron for it before. Everything about it is amazing. The theme is one of the catchiest themes you'll hear, ever. I don't think I could love another theme like I love this one and if you don't love it too then I don't know what to tell you. Just enjoy the acid trip that this is gonna induce once you click that play button.