IMPACT Cross Roads Review

A big week for IMPACT this week as they presented a special edition of their TV show entitled Cross Roads. This show was main evented by a first-time ever match for the IMPACT World Champion as Austin Aries put his strap on the line against Johnny Impact. But how did it all go down in Orlando? Lets take a look.

IMPACT World Championship // Johnny Impact vs. Austin Aries (C) 

Before the match - Austin Aries pulled his suitcase up to the building - Johnny Impact did the same thing but for some reason was surrounded by four men carrying American flags, which was weird - Austin Aries showed off his various title belts, before saying Johnny Impact would have to get nasty to take the IMPACT World Championship from him - Johnny Impact took the piss out of Austin Aries for calling himself the Greatest Man That Ever Lived and carrying around four titles, claiming that the Champion was insecure.

Another successful title defence for Austin Aries and another high quality main event from the Greatest Man That Ever Lived, this time with Johnny Impact as the challenger. This match featured some brilliant action, as the two seemed to click early on with a could of back and forth sequences, quickly trading holds and strikes as each man came off on the better end of one string of action and then began to build from there. With two babyfaces involved, the match played with the idea that the two had very similar styles, with Impact perhaps having the speed advantage, whilst Aries controlled portions because of his more vicious streak when compared to the former WWE Intercontinental Champion. With the crowd split, the match included a number of impressive spots, such as Impact getting tripped on springboard attempt before bumping on the top turnbuckle and tumbling to the floor and a Death valley driver on the apron but the highlight was a beautiful sequence that concluded with a middle rope Spanish fly from Impact. Whilst the wrestling was always super crisp, I felt like the match could've done with a little extra drama, with Impact only really coming close with roll-ups, whilst Aries winning with his corner dropkick and brainbuster sequence made the win feel a little more straight-forward than I would've liked. I'd be more than happy to see these two back in their again sometime soon as I feel that this match only scratched the surface of what the creative duo could do together.

After the match - Alberto El Patron applauded both men from the apron and then weirdly undid his shirt to close the show.

IMPACT X Division Championship/IMPACT Grand Championship // 

Taiji Ishimori (XDC) vs. Matt Sydal (GC) 

Before the match - Whilst meditating on a production box, Matt Sydal said some things 
about his match and third eyes and stuff 

Matt Sydal retained the IMPACT Grand Champion and also became IMPACT X Division Champion, using a Shooting Star Press to pin Taiji Ishimori in a solid X-Division style tussle. This featured some lovely action at points, but also didn't quite hit the highs that I would've liked to have seen it hit. The finish in particular was really well done with a series of fast-paced aerial reversals and signature attempts, that concluded with Sydal getting his knees up on a 450 splash before answering with a Shooting Star Press to get the win, whilst Ishimori's offence on the outside with the Golden Moonsault and no-hand rana on the ramp always impressing. However, in the earlier part of the match, Sydal looked half-step off the pace and this hurt the opening as it lacked the speed that it needed to truly excite. There was also a lot of time spent with Sydal working over Ishimori's leg, that ended up coming to absolute nothing, as whilst the NOAH star sold well, the injury wasn't made use of in the matches narrative at all, making that lengthy sequence relatively obsolete. Overall, this featured some enjoyable high-flying action, but could have been a lot more with a bit of attention to detail.

IMPACT Knockout's Championship // 

Allie vs. Laurel Van Ness (C)

Before the match - Allie said she was ready to take on Laurel Van Ness, saying she'd dedicate the match to Gail Kim. 

In a scrappy match, Allie began her second run as Knockout's Champion, with a victory over Laurel Van Ness. This wasn't a classic match by any stretch of the imagination, with a good deal of moves either looking awkward or downright sloppy, but there was also a strong sense of the pairs dislike for each other and a solid structure, alongside a couple of big spots on the floor. The strongest action of the bout came from a nice little sequence where Van Ness missed a diving double stomp to Allie's back, then rolled through, only to be caught with a lungblower for a near fall, whilst on the other side of the coin you had a weird looking bulldog thing from Van Ness. A near fall that saw Allie take an Unprettier on the floor, three curb stomps into the bottom turnbuckle and another curb stomp in the ropes felt like complete overkill and took me completely out of the bout. I understand that Van Ness is leaving the company, but building Allie in this way feels a little forced and the fact that she quickly recovered to hit the Allie Valley Driver and Best Superkick Ever for the win wasn't how I would've liked to have seen her second run as champion begin. 

After the match - Gail Kim told Allie was proud of her once the new IMPACT Knockout's Champion got backstage.

IMPACT World Tag Team Championship // 

Trevor Lee & Caleb Konley vs. Ortiz & Santana (C) (with Konnan)

LAX made their first defence during their second reign at IMPACT World Tag Team Champions in a good opening match with Cult of Lee duo Trevor Lee & Caleb Konley. There was a lot of fun action going on here, including a number of slick sequences involving Trevor Lee, whilst LAX continued to impress as babyfaces putting a great display of their tag team offence when called upon including a lionsault and leg drop combo and an assisted moonsault followed up by back to back tope conhilos. The team known elsewhere as EYFBO are an exciting duo to watch and it was on full display here and they ended up looking super impressive with this victory. I would have liked to have seen the match featured a few more near falls, with an extra five minutes to really take this to the next level, whilst I'm still not massively enamoured with Caleb Konley either and his hokey selling was one of the drawbacks of the contest. One things that's for sure is IMPACT need to bring some more teams into their division, because LAX need a good line of challengers to showcase themselves against having already gone over Cult of Lee and oVe. 

NWA World Heavyweight Championship // 

Monty Brown vs. Christian Cage (C) 

Taken from Destination X 2006, Christian Cage retained his NWA World Heavyweight Championship against Monty Brown, putting the Alpha Male away with an Unprettier. I'm not sure why this match was chosen for re-air, because it was mostly dull action and there's three or four better matches on that show. It was a power vs. speed affair, joined in progress during a Brown beatdown, so maybe there was some more exciting stuff earlier in the match, but what was shown here was mostly Brown using strikes and awkward looking submissions. There's a couple of cool moves later in the bout, as Brown hits a lovely Alpha Bomb, amidst numerous Unprettier and Pounce attempts, before Cage wins clean with his finish. Brown was never known for his match quality, but if you're looking to watch some classic Cage in TNA, then I'd recommend his ladder match with Kaz from Genesis 2007, matches with Samoa Joe from Bound For Glory 2007 and Final Resolution 2008 and bout with Kurt Angle from Destination X 2007, as much better starting points than this. 

Jake Crist & Dave Crist (with Sami Callihan) vs. Bobby Lashley & Brian Cage 

Before the match - Lashley claimed he didn't care if he had to fight the whole state of Ohio, he was going to win his match tonight. 

What was promoted as a handicap match between Lashley & oVe, finished with Brian Cage getting the pin with the Drill Claw. As awesome a move as the vertical suplex piledriver is, there is no universe were having someone who wasn't in the match get the pin is a good move. If the match was advertised as a tag match and Lashley just didn't have a partner because of Eddie Edwards' injury last week, then I'm cool with it, but it wasn't. The rest of the match was nothing as well, mostly consisting of Lashley getting beaten down by Jake & Dave, whilst Sami Callihan would pop up every now and again with his baseball bat, as commentary continued to talk about the horrible incident from last week. Cage looked great when he came and lobbed oVe all over the shop and if it had just been Cage coming down for the save, I'd have been absolutely cool with anything that came after his entrance. It looks like they're setting up for a Cage vs. Lashley programme, but it seems weird to move so quickly past the rivalry with oVe after what happened to Edwards the week earlier. 

Also this week 

- It was announced that the Feast or Fired match will return next week.

ATPW Scale Rating // 4.88 out of 10 

Written by James Marston // @IAmNotAlanDale

Impact Wrestling Review // 8th February 2018

This week's Impact Wrestling was main event by a Four-Way bout to earn a shot at the Impact World Championship, as Johnny Impact, Alberto El Patron, EC3 and Moose collided in the Impact Zone in Orlando, Florida, whilst following Austin Aries' World title victory over Eli Drake last week Impact aired a replay of Aries winning the TNA World Heavyweight title from Bobby Roode at Destination X 2012. But how did it all go down? Lets take a look! 

Impact World Championship #1 Contendership // Johnny Impact def. Alberto El Patron and EC3 and Moose // Pinfall

Johnny Impact earned himself another shot at the Impact World Championship, pinning EC3 after escaping the One Percenter and using a Bridging O'Connor roll to get the three count, at the conclusion of a sprawling Four way match also involving Alberto El Patron and Moose. This was an exciting and varied main event, featuring four of the companies top heavyweights, featuring some good storytelling, fun brawling in the crowd and an exciting stretch of action that saw all four guys working hard. The story of El Patron and EC3 teaming up and doing anything they could to get an upperhand, using the steels and ringpost to keep Impact and Moose down was the driving force throughout the first ten minutes or so, with the action spilling into the crowd and culminating with Moose appearing to suffer a knee injury after being rammed into a wall. The scrap in the audience also featured some fun spots involving a wheelie bin and Impact wailing away on El Patron with a pair of crutches. 

Of course, the second act of the match included Moose coming back into the match to even the odds for the good guys, aiding Impact in hitting a pair of powerbombs to El Patron & EC3. Moose sold spectacularly here, limping for the rest of the match and varying his offence because of the injury, whilst Josh Mathews and Sonjay Dutt on commentary did a good job of pointing out the differences in Moose's movements and attacks. It would be the knee that would eventually take Moose out of the match after the OMG missed a baseball slide and El Patron kicked the injured leg from underneath him, before nailing a superkick to his kneeling opponent. The finishing stretch was full of big moves and near falls, making the most of the bodies to keep the momentum swinging as Impact came close with a Moonlight Drive and Moose made the save for EC3, nailing a senton on El Patron to break up a Cross Armbreaker. This was a great way to close the show, whilst also setting up a potential showdown between Impact and Austin Aries, which has the potential to be a real barn-burner in the right setting.

TNA World Heavyweight Championship // Austin Aries def. Bobby Roode (C) // Pinfall [TNA Destination X 2012]

I'm usually not a fan of Impact airing old matches on their first-run programming, because it seems like a cheap way to fill time without the effort of having to advance stories and to be quite honest, the match choices can often be baffling. However, I'm not going to complain about the company pulling out one its best matches of the last decade, especially when it actually served a purpose. After Aries had won the Impact World Championship last week, this week we were treated to Aries winning the TNA World Heavyweight Championship from Bobby Roode back at Destination X in 2012. Oh man, if you've never seen this match its well worth seeking out, because it features one of the most electric TNA audiences in history, desperate for the valiant babyface challenger to take the companies top prize for the over-bearing champion. The in-ring action matches the crowd's enthusiasm, with tonnes of twists and turns, near falls and dramatic devices to create a compelling main event and one of the best TNA title matches in history. Back in 2018, we saw Aries fielding a press conference which included the revelation that he isn't signed with Impact and will be continuing in his attempt to win championships all over the World. Aries defends the Impact World Championship against Eli Drake next week. 

Taiji Ishimori & Matt Sydal def. El Hijo del Fantasma & Rojit Raju // Pinfall

This week's X-Division action kicked off the show, with Impact Grand Champion Matt Sydal pinning Rohit Raju (the repackaged Hakim Zane) after a Shooting Star Press, giving Sydal and X-Division Champion Taiji Ishimori the victory over El Hijo del Fantasma & Raju. Just like the main event was a great showcase for the heavyweights in Impact at the moment, this was the same for the X-Division as the foursome put on a fast-paced tag jaunt, full of exciting back and forth sequences, flips and just generally good wrestling stuff. Raju impressed with a couple of lovely sequences with Sydal, where the two traded a series of near misses, whilst also combining well with Fantasma for an impressive near fall off a double team GTS situation. However, it was Fantasma who ended up really shining in this one, with a lovely opening exchange with Ishimori, as well as a fiery hot tag after a period of dominance from Sydal & Ishimori. Oooh, Ishimori hit a delicious Superstar Quebrada as well. More shows should open like this.

Impact Knockout's Championship // Laurel Van Ness (C) def. Kiera Hogan // Pinfall 

After picking up a surprise victory over Knockout's Champion Laurel Van Ness last week, Kiera Hogan received her shot at the belt this week, coming up short as Van Ness got the win with a sloppy looking Unprettier to make it two defences of the title. Beyond the sloppiness of the Unprettier, the match was alright for the most, highlighted by some strong character work by Van Ness and a call back to the finish of last week's match. Van Ness seems to have put some real work in when creating this crazed version of the character and I enjoyed the different in-ring style that she employs as shes varies her offence to suit the character, whilst some of her facial expressions when unable to get the pin were brilliant here. I would've liked to have seen more from Hogan as the match felt more one-sided than it perhaps needed to be and a little more fire from the newcomer would've lifted the contest to the next level. After the match, Allie made the save for Hogan, sending Van Ness packing after she attempted to attack Hogan further. We also found out earlier on the episode that Allie has a secret admirer and we'd be meeting them next week.

Trevor Lee & Caleb Konley def. Monroe & Read // Pinfall

One area of Impact that's needed improvement for a while is the tag team division and therefore it's pleasing to see The Cult of Lee, consisting of Trevor Lee & Caleb Konley getting put into the ranks and entering a feud with Impact Tag Team Champions Santana & Ortiz, LAX. This week we saw Lee & Konley in a surprisingly competitive match with the debuting Monroe (FEST Wrestling) & Read (REAL Pro Wrestling), known collectively as TECH, before Lee pinned Read after a Spike Piledriver. I wasn't massively into the gimmick that Lee & Konley had stolen LAX's bandannas and therefore now say stereotypical Mexican things, but the wrestling in the tag match was solid, with both of TECH impressing with some nice strikes as they bumped well for the Cult of Lee. The highlight came from a cute double team Gutwrench Powerbomb from Lee and Konley, that involved Konley hitting a running punt to the head just as Lee brought the opponent up into the air for the powerbomb. After the match, LAX's Homicide, Konnan, Ortiz & Santana appeared on the screen, with Konnan cutting one his trademark energetic promos threatening the Cult of Lee that they would not tolerate the impersonation. A Tag title match with Ortiz & Santana against Lee & Konley could be wonderful if given the right time. 

Hania the Huntress def. Amber Nova // Pinfall 

Hania the Huntress made her Impact debut this week, picking up a victory over Amber Nova with a weak reverse DDT. It was a shame that the finish ended up looking so lame, because the rest of the match had been a fun extended squash, that saw Nova get a good opportunity to show off some of her pacier offence, whilst Huntress was able to showcase some of her power game. Whilst Nova's headscissors into the top turnbuckle looked cool, it was Nova leaping up for a rana only to be caught by a get-the-fuck-down powerbomb from Huntress that stands out as the strongest part of the match and worked as a microcosm of the match as a whole. Following the match, Rosemary attacked Huntress, attempting to get some revenge for an attack last week, but Huntress was able to escape before Rosemary could hit Red Wedding. 

Also this week

- In a weird hand-held video, it appeared that oVe's Sami Callihan, Jake Crist & Dave Crist had kidnapped Lashley.

- Dark promo from Jimmy Jacobs alongside Kongo Kong, threatening to bring the monster out of Joseph Park.

- Pluto TV rewind of the week was Chris Harris diving off a steel cage to nail Death Sentence with America's Most Wanted partner James Storm on Elix Skipper (teaming with Christopher Daniels as Triple X) from NWA Total Nonstop Action from June 2003.

- Pro Wrestling NOAH star Brian Cage returns to Impact next week, after last being seen in July 2014.

ATPW Scale Rating // 6.00/10 

Written by James Marston // @IAmNotAlanDale

Impact Wrestling 697 Review // Team Eddie Edwards vs. Team Chris Adonis // Eli Drake Gravy Train Turkey Trot

Bound For Glory 2017 Review // Johnny Impact vs. Eli Drake
Impact Wrestling 695 Review // Alberto El Patron and Johnny Impact Brawl

Impact Wrestling 696 Review // Petey Williams vs. Eli Drake

It was Thanksgiving on 23rd November, so Impact Wrestling treated us to a Turkey based episode. Yeah. Taped at the Aberdeen Pavillion in Ottawa, Ontario, the show featured just one original match, pitting Team Eddie Edwards against Team Chris Adonis. Throughout the show names were drawn, taking up an outstanding near twenty five minutes, leading to Fallah Bahh, Garza Jr., Richard Justice and Allie joining Edwards' team and Adonis' team consisting off KM, El Hijo del Fantasma, Caleb Konley and Laurel Van Ness. The show also featured a number of flash back matches from Thanksgivings gone by including Rhino, Alex Shelley & Sheik Abdul Bashir battling it out in a three way from 2008. But was it any good? Let's take a look. (SPOILER - IT WASN'T GOOD. NOT GOOD AT ALL)

Eli Drake Gravy Train Turkey Trot // Team Eddie Edwards (Eddie Edwards, Allie [Cherry Bomb], Richard Justice [Dick Justice], Garza Jr. & Fallah Bahh [Franciz]) def. Team Chris Adonis (Chris Adonis [Chris Masters], El Hijo del Fantasma, Caleb Konley, Laurel van Ness [Chelsea Green] & KM [Kevin Matthews]) // Pinfall

*If the following paragraph seems repetitive, drawn out and entirely unnecessary, then I've made my point. It's also good to remember it took up 25 minutes* 

Robert Irvine prepared a Thanksgiving meal, whilst Jeremy Borash fannied around with a tumbler...Borash did some more fannying around with a tumbler...Eli Drake told a story to Borash about his Dad's creamy mashed potatoes. They also drew the first team captain for the newly rechristened Gravy Train Turkey Trot, Eddie Edwards...Edwards told McKenzie Mitchell that tonight he'd be ticking an item off his bucket list by competing in the match...Borash drew El Hijo Del Fantasma as the first member of Team two, whilst Drake stole his bread roll...Fantasma told Mitchell that they don't have Thankgiving in Mexico... Borash let us know that they'd be drawing more names later on... Eli Drake gave his thoughts on Johnny Impact vs. Alberto El Patron happening next week, which didn't amount to a whole lot...Borash finally drew the next member of Eddie Edwards' team, Allie...Allie actually seemed pretty excited about the prospect of dressing as a turkey...Borash let us know that they'd be drawing more names later on...Caleb Konley was drawn as the next member of Team Two by Borash...Trevor Lee told Konley that he'd better not lose the match, in another Mitchell interview...Drake pulled Richard Justice as Edwards' next team member...Justice was buzzing for the opportunity when he spoke to Mitchell... Borash drew KM as the next entrant into the Gravy Train Turkey Trot...KM told Mitchell that all he cared about was impressing American Top Team later on...Laurel Van Ness was the next name out of Borash's tumbler... van Ness danced around like a turkey in her interview with Mitchell...Drake asked Chris Adonis "would you?" with Adonis replying "I would stuff that turkey" seemingly in regards to van Ness...Borash pulled another name out of his tumbler, Fallah Bahh...Bahh spoke to Mitchell, saying only the words "Bahh" and "Gobble Gobble"...Borash and Drake spoke about Bahh's weight and then drew Garza Jr.'s name out of the tumbler...Garza Jr. told a Mitchell that a Mexican wrestler never gives up or something...The team captain for the second team was revealed as Chris Adonis, with Drake attempting to put the name back in the tumbler, Adonis seemed furious about the possibility...Adonis gave Caleb Konley, Fantasma and KM a pep talk, whilst van Ness danced around like a turkey...Edwards gave Allie, Justice, Garza and Bahh a team talk, with Justice more interested in the fact that there would be food around the ring...Before the match began Drake made Borash read an oath to the competitors, making them promise to wear the Turkey suit if they were pinned in the match, whilst standing around tables full of Thanksgiving treats... 

Yeah. Well, the match certainly was something. It wasn't completely terrible, but it was pretty terrible. My highlights included Justice attacking Konley with a bread roll, van Ness riding around on Justice's back for a bit, Josh Mathews continuously corpsing on commentary, Bahh and Justice teaming up on KM and a comedy dive spot where Justice pulled his straps down and then fell off the apron, getting caught by the majority of the match, before Allie came flying off the top to knock everyone down. Undoubtedly, the comedy from Justice was the best part of the whole thing, which says more about the use of the likes of Edwards, Garza, Fantasma and Konley, than it does Justice's skills. Then there was the other stuff. Oh dear the other stuff. The commentary making jokes about Bahh and Justice being larger gentleman, KM hitting some of the weakest strikes you ever did see, Garza once again wrestling with an obviously injured arm, Adonis knocking Edwards off the apron to distract the referee and then simply kicking Garza a bit, the referee dropping Garza's hand to the mat multiple times when in an Adonis waistlock and then doing NOTHING about it, followed by Garza eventually escaping and then going straight to the hot tag with absolute no build or struggle. Just a general lack of psychology or common sense in the structure of the bout, with it appearing at multiple times like no one had discussed anything about the match at any point. After Adonis shouting "Masterlock" like a fucking teat, Edwards escaped quickly and got a roll up win in a sloppy finish. After twenty five minutes of mindless build-up segments, the match was over in under half that time and I felt like I'd lost at least three years of my life and many, many brain cells.

You thought this was over? Oh no, my naive friend. There was still ten minutes left of the show. How did they fill those ten minutes? Well, Adonis had to get in the turkey suit, of course. This was much more interesting than the match, but that's not saying much at all. It went like so; Eli Drake said Adonis didn't have to wear the costume, Jeremy Borash said he did, Adonis tried to leave, security stopped him, Adonis tried to leave again, security stopped him again, Borash said if Adonis didn't wear the suit then Drake would have to wear it and then in the best moment of the show, Drake motioned for security to take Adonis back to the ring, whilst saying otherwise on the mic, then Adonis wore the turkey suit. It wasn't high class television and went on for an excruciating long time, but there were moments of relief, mostly enjoying the depth of Drake's performance. The show concluded with a food fight, including Garza Jr. lobbing an entire turkey at Eddie Edwards (his own captain) and Edwards ducking a cherry pie attack from Adonis, leaving Drake covered in pie as the show went off the air.

Turkey Bowl // "The War Machine" Rhino def. Alex Shelley and Sheik Abdul Bashir [Shawn Daivari] // Pinfall 

This bout originally aired on iMPACT 231 (broadcast in November 2008, taped at Universal Studios in Orlando, Florida) and was certainly not a classic. That being said it was probably the best of the three archive bouts, with Shelley and Bashir teaming up to tackle the more powerful Rhino, only for the War Machine to come flying back and pin Shelley with a Gore.

After the match, Mick Foley forced Alex Shelley to wear the Turkey Suit, in an over-the-top promo, threatening to fire the Motor City Machine Guns member. This segment was not entertaining the first time, it really didn't need to be re-aired.

Eli Drake, Dezmond Xavier, Petey Williams, Trevor Lee, Bobby Lashley and Allie let us know their favourite Thanksgiving memories...Drake, Sami Callihan, Alberto El Patron, Williams, KC Spinelli, Johnny Impact and Matt Sydal let us know what their favourite Thanksgiving food was...Drake, Sienna, Ethan Carter III, Impact, Sydal and Allie let us know what they were thankful for...Drake, Willliams and Eddie Edwards (who looked quite ill) told us about their Thanksgiving Traditions... 

Turkey Bowl // Eric Young def. Robbie E // Pinfall

This was a baffling encounter from Impact Wrestling 385 (aired November 2011, taped at Universal Studios in Orlando Florida), with my enjoyment coming from Taz relentless taking the piss out of the whole thing on commentary. Referee Rudy Charles was for some reason positioned as the star of the contest, using the turkey suit to count pinfalls and also randomly breaking out into a chicken dance at various points, before Young picked up the win with a jumping Piledriver.

After the match, Eric Young and referee Rudy Charles made Rob Terry wear the turkey suit.

Turkey Suit Challenge // Robbie E def. Grado // Pinfall 

From Impact Wrestling 645 (aired in November 2016, taped at Universal Studios in Orlando, Florida) we had this bout that was straight up comedy wrestling, as well as having Aiden O'Shea [Jay Bradley] on the outside as some kind of enforcer. Nipple twists, both being terrified of the turkey suit for reasons that weren't explained and Grado pulling out Robbie E's arse were amongst the "highlights", en route to Robbie E earning the victory after blocking a sunset flip.

After the match, Grado put on the turkey suit and rather enjoyed it, beginning to cut some shapes in the suit, whilst Robbie E also pranced round like a fool, whilst Aiden O'Shea looked on for some reason.

Sienna, Madison Rayne, Rosemary and Allie spoke about the upcoming tournament for the vacant Knockout's Championship

The Pluto TV rewind of the week was Diamond Dallas Page given Raven a Diamond Cutter in a match against Monty Brown, taken from Impact 24 (aired November 2004, taped at Universal Studios in Orlando, Florida)

This may have been the worst episode of any professional wrestling show that has aired in 2017. 25 minutes of drawing names out of tumblers and bad jokes, ten minutes of talking heads discussing Thanksgiving traditions without a single interesting story, one original match that if you were kind you would call "not awful" and three previous Turkey Bowl matches, that ranged from short unoriginal comedy to bizarre referee dominated action to a three way that was certainly a match that happened at one point. Also, does anyone want to watch two Robbie E matches on the same show? After a killer episode last week, Impact Wrestling let themselves down on Thanksgiving and episode 697 deserves to be burned in a bin.

Review by James Marston (@IAmNotAlanDale)

Impact Wrestling 695 Review // Alberto El Patron & Johnny Impact Brawl

On 9th November 2017, Impact Wrestling & Border City Wrestling aired the 695th episode of Impact Wrestling on POP TV, taped on 14th October at St. Clair George Coliseum in Windsor Ontario and 6th November at the Aberdeen Pavilion in Ottawa, Ontario. The show featured a clash between Matt Sydal and Sonjay Dutt, a brawl erupting between Johnny Impact and Alberto El Patron, as well as appearances from Chris Adonis, oVe (Sami Callihan, Dave Crist & Jake Crist), Petey Williams, Ethan Carter III and Eddie Edwards, but was it any good? 

"Reborn" Matt Sydal def. "The Original Playa from the Himalayas" Sonjay Dutt // 10:37 

Jimmy Jacobs turned up again, took a selfie with Josh Mathews and joined the commentary booth for Sonjay Dutt vs. Matt Sydal.

An interestingly paced match here, with Matt Sydal and Sonjay Dutt pushing more into the technical category than the high-flying style that they're better known for. There was still a good deal of flippy shit, including a standing moonsault from Sydal, but the majority of the match however saw Sydal target Dutt's leg, following a dragon screw leg whip. This produced a couple of lovely moments, like Sydal cutting off a sunset flip attempt by going after Dutt's leg before locking in a single leg Boston crab, with the Original Playa for the Himalayas selling the body part well. Considering both were babyfaces heading in, I'm not convinced this was the right direction to take the bout, with the crowd not really getting into it and with the action often feeling a little bloated in the middle. After a Bound for Glory marred by poor booking decision, it was just nice to start the show with a clean victory, as Sydal put Dutt away with a Shooting Sydal Press. Jimmy Jacobs on commentary was a thing, with the Zombie Princess only staying around for a few minutes before leaving because he wasn't getting enough attention, despite the screen having featured him more than the action in the ring.

After the match, Ethan Carter III came out to say that Sydal was a choke artist, apparently turning back heel, days after he turned babyface at Bound for Glory. We closed without any real confrontation with EC3 saying "Maybe in another life...you could've been reborn a winner"

Alberto El Patron [Alberto Del Rio] and Johnny Impact [John Morrison] brawled // 12:32

Johnny Impact interrupted McKenzie Mitchell's interview with Global Forged winner Hakim Zane, grabbing the camera and letting Alberto El Patron know that he was coming for him.
Later on, Alberto El Patron turned up outside the building with the camera man letting him know that Johnny Impact was looking for him.

Parts of this brawl worked really well, parts of the brawl was just two lads rolling around backstage. Honestly, there were portions that felt like I was watching two teenage brothers have a scuffle and the action backstage went on for at least five minutes too long with the unnessarry inclusion of Braxton Sutter and Caleb Konley. The things that did work were Impact flying through the screen as Mckenzie Mitchell attempted to interview AEP, Impact's dive off a toilet building thing and the portion that went out into the arena. The two getting on the mic, with Impact having to goad AEP to get in the ring by telling him he wasn't the pride of his own father, let alone the Pride of Mexico was nicely done and played well by both men. The finish with the 2 time WWE Champion hitting a DDT on Impact, taking out security and locking on an armbreaker in the ropes had some punch, furthered the issue between the pair and made AEP look like trash. Also big shoutout to AEP wearing a full red Adidas tracksuit, whether it was conscious decision or just how he dresses, it added to his trashy image.

GHC Heavyweight Championship: Eddie Edwards (C) def. El Hijo del Fantasma // 9:57

The match of the night came in this clash, as Eddie Edwards and El Hijo del Fantasma put on a pacy, back and forth match. The two packed their ten minutes full of action from the very beginning, with the former Gift of the Gods champion pulling out some lovely looking offence when controlling the first third, including a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and a frankensteiner. Edwards has always been compelling when fighting from underneath here, with a likeable persona and that shone through here as he scrapped for everything he got, pulling out a nice near fall off a Blue Thunder Bomb hopespot, before making the Tiger Driver his focus, attempting to hit the move multiple times. This resulted in a strong near fall when Edwards managed to hit the move, after removing his elbow pad to hit a lariat, only for EHDF to get a shoulder up before two. The final stretch lifted the quality, even if EHDF blocking a Boston Knee Party was poorly shot and/or edited together. Edwards would eventually hit the Boston Knee party and Diehard Flowsion to cap off a convincing victory, that raises his stock within both Impact Wrestling and Pro Wrestling NOAH. The only nit-pick I have here is that the two trolled repeating a spot on the apron that was arguably the best moment of Bound for Glory, only for it not to happen, which seemed a little unnecessary. It did result into two gorgeous suicide dives though, so not all was lost.  

Petey Williams interrupted Eli Drake [Shaun Ricker] & Chris Adonis [Chris Masters] // 8:26

Until Petey Williams made his entrance, I was losing patience with this lengthy opening duo-loge from Global Champion Eli Drake and his pal Chris Adonis. I usually like Drake on the mic, but there was very little going on here and a lot of time for that little to go on in. Adonis told the crowd to sit down, Drake said somethings, put over beating Johnny Impact at Bound for Glory, Drake fiddled with his title belt quite a lot, said something about Alberto El Patron and then said he'd been given the night off because "there's no one left to challenge for this title". It just went on and on and nothing happened, we got no new information and Drake seemed to be lacking in some of his usual energy and charisma. Luckily, once Williams entered, Drake seemed to wake up, seemingly because his best work comes when he has some one to bounce off of. It all ended up with Adonis saving Drake from taking a Canadian Destroyer and we'd find out later that this had somehow earned Williams a title shot. The crowd loved Williams though, because he's Canadian and if there's one thing we know about Canadians it's that they love Canadians. Canada.

Allie [Cherry Bomb] def. KC Spinelli // 7:04

The company has literally just held TV tapings, but they're airing footage from a BCW show from October? Go figure. In all honestly, the BCW footage actually looked better than footage from Impact itself, with a better looking crowd who seemed to be more into the action. The match itself took a while to get going, consisting mostly of strikes from Spinelli and Allie running out of the way of corner attacks. The last few minutes saw the action improve with a couple of nice near falls for both, including a Fisherman's suplex from Spinelli. Unlike most of the Impact footage, the finish featured some brilliant camera work, as Spinelli went for a moonsault, only for their to be no water in the pool, before an Allie Valley Driver put the SHIMMER performer away.

Allie was interviewed, speaking about being in the ring with Gail Kim at Bound for Glory and what Kim's announcement next week could be.

The GWN flashback moment of the week, saw Team International (Sonjay Dutt, Amazing Red & Hector Garza) go over Team Canada (Bobby Roode, Eric Young & Petey Williams) from the original episode of iMPACT from June 2004. The finish included some of the most exciting wrestling showcased on the entire show with a Code Red, Canadian Destroyer and Tornillo all being pulled out. (3:35)

oVe (Sami Callihan, Dave Crist & Jake Crist) def. Mike Burke, Phil Atlas & Ray Steele // 2:36

Sami Callihan got a much better introduction here as oVe picked up a dominant victory with their wacky All Seeing Eye triple-team move.

LAX (Homicide, Ortiz & Santana) attacked oVe, with Callihan taking a 187 cutter from Homicide but just escaping the Gringo Killer. 

A smiley Jeremy Borash and Josh Mathews opened the show in the ring, running down the card for the show before throwing to a Bound for Glory highlight package. 

The Pluto TV rewind of the week featured Roddy Piper blasting Chris Rose with a fire extinguisher after Rose proclaimed "Wrestling is Fake" from The Best Damn Wrestling Event Period in October 2004. 

After a Bound for Glory that featured some good wrestling, but terrible booking, this episode of Impact was a set in the right direction. Eddie Edwards victory over El Hijo del Fantasma was a high-quality contest for television, whilst Sonjay Dutt vs. Matt Sydal was also a decent watch and seeing Sami Callihan and the Crist Brother beat the shit into people is always fun. The non-wrestling segments were a little pacier, with a weak performance from Eli Drake standing out as particularly disappointing.

Review by James Marston

Impact Wrestling #672 Review (1st June 2017)

On 1st June, Impact Wrestling aired their 672nd episode on POP TV, taped on 23rd April at Universal Studios in Orlando, Florida. The show featured a Six Sides of Steel match between Alberto el Patron [Alberto Del Rio] and Ethan Carter III for el Patron's GFW Global Championship and EC3's Impact World Heavyweight title shot at Slammiversary, alongside Eli Drake [Shaun Ricker] challenging for Moose's Impact Grand Championship, as well as appearances from X Division Champion Low Ki, LAX, Tyrus [Brodus Clay], Dutch Mantel and Karen Jarrett. But was it any good? Let's take a look.

• ICYMI - A recap of Josh Mathews and Jeremy Borash's feud including Scott Steiner's return to Impact last week, as well as the #671 promos from World Heavyweight Champion [Bobby] Lashley and Ethan Carter III, before EC3 became #1 Contender in last week's Three Way main event against Magnus and James Storm.

el Patron interrupted EC3's #1 Contender Celebration

Ethan Carter III's victory celebration, after becoming #1 Contender last week, was utterly ridiculous, over-the-top and thoroughly entertaining as the 2 time Impact World Heavyweight Champion introduced us to his barber shop quarter, cellist and violinist. This was similar to a segment with Jeff Jarrett from one of the very early episodes of Impact, with each song having me in bits and EC3's off the cuff remarks complimenting the musical frivolity well. The quartet sang his theme music, then "For he's the number one contender" before finishing up with "Goodbye my Bobby Lashley babe" and it was glorious. EC3 hammed it up, managing to be annoying and entertaining, as he named members of the group including Jimmy with the Gimp leg and Tom Foolery, whilst the singing lead perfectly into GFW Global Champion Alberto el Patron's interruption. The segment concluded with Bruce Prichard (joined by Karen Jarrett, Dutch Mantell and Tyrus) cut off a potential scrap by booking the duo for the show's main event with both el Patron's GFW Global title and EC3's Slammiversary title shot on the line. It's all to be inside a steel cage, because...because it will be. The use of Prichard in this segment was head and shoulders above him starting the show last week, although I'm not sure how I feel about having a trio of babyface authority figures flanked by a bodyguard! 

Moose def. Drake to retain Impact Grand Championship

A decent opening contest, with Moose and Eli Drake doing a good job with the three, 3 minute rounds gimmick, working in a nice story with a solid ebb and flow. Drake took the first round, spending most of the match working over the left leg of his opponent, with the bell ringing just as he locked in a Figure Four Leg Lock. The second round continued with a similar feel as Drake upped the ante and wrapped Moose's legs around the ringpost a few times, a closing flurry from Moose including a massive drop kick that knocked Drake to the outside, followed up by hitting a Pop-up Powerbomb, running senton and mid-rope Moonsault all within the last minute. Moose's selling was intermittent and not the strongest part of his game, but he still favoured the leg when it was important to do so, as he couldn't cover Drake after the moonsault. The final round was probably the weakest of the three as I didn't feel like it managed to cap off the story, as well as it could have and any match that doesn't have a definitive finish is always going to end flat. That's an issue with the gimmick itself, but the two did worked in some sound near falls with Drake kicking out of the Go to Hell (Sitout Chokebomb with Drake seated on the top turnbuckle) as well as Eli's second Chris Adonis [Chris Masters] grabbing Moose's leg before a Gravy Train (Over-the-shoulder belly to back piledriver) just before the end of the third round. The highlight of the entire segment may have been Eli's face when it was announced that Moose had won the match, great stuff. 

• Backstage - Knockout's Champion Rosemary [Courtney Rush] surprised Allie [Cherry Bomb], promising to protect her, whilst the terrified Allie struggled to find words...a superb performance from both.

Allie def. Nova 

My main takeaway from this match is that the debuting Amber Nova is way too good looking to be an enhancement talent. The photo doesn't do her justice, so Google her or something. From her entrance onward she looked like a star and even with her limited in-ring experience I'd suggest Impact sign her before anyone else does and find some kind of on-screen role as she develops. Obviously looks aren't everything, but they're a bloody good start. The match itself was probably a little too long for what it needed to do, but the focus on Allie growing as a professional wrestler (despite having been wrestling for over a decade) and her underdog character was nice, as she fought from underneath to seal only her third victory in Impact with a Death Allie Driver. The match got her character and story over clearly, but just went a tad too long for me. 

LAX def. V.o.W. in a No Disqualification Match to Win the Vacant GFW Tag Team Championship

My main issue with this match was that it was No Disqualification, without any need to be. Literally all the cheating or anything LAX (Santana [Mike Draztik] and Ortiz [Angel Ortiz] with Konnan, Homicide and Diamante [Angel Rose]) could have been disqualified for happened with the referee distracted. This would've made perfect sense in a regular match and worked to get the team some more heat when they repeatedly broke the rules to get the victory, but the impact is lessened when the rules are taken away. It felt like the talent hadn't been told the match was No DQ as there was nothing from Veterans of War (Mayweather [Crimson] & Wilcox [Jax Dane]) that would've suggested they had any kind of dislike for Santana and Ortiz and considering the anti-American rhetoric of the group, you would've expect V.O.W. to want to inflict some damage with a few toys, if they could have. Aside from that the match was okay and the timing of some the spots with the outside interference (like Konnan hitting Mayweather with a bat and Homicide whipping Wilcox with an Impact World Tag title belt just as the V.o.W. looked capable of cleaning house) kept the contest entertaining. There's potential in both teams, but they're being under-served at the moment.

• Backstage - McKenzie Mitchell interviewed Jeremy Borash and Joseph Park [Abyss] about their Slammiversary match with Josh Mathews and Scott Steiner, with Park attempting to hype JB up, only for Borash to tell him he was nuts and walk off.

Ki def. Everett to retain X-Division Championship 

A good X Division title match, that was hurt by Andrew Everett slipping on the loose ropes at a crucial point, as well as having Sonjay Dutt on commentary which distracted from the story of Everett chasing the title after a sizeable build. Before the slip the match was heading in the right direction as Low Ki had spent the majority with the momentum, following a baseball slide through the second and third ropes. There was some nice stuff building up to Everett's comeback with the 24 year old doing a convincing job as the underdog against the vicious World Warrior. A number of hope spots involving kicks and a solid amount of time spent on the mat later and Everett got some space with a tasty Kylo Kick (Backflip kick), before a rana into the buckle and a running shooting star press had the match feeling like it was about to break into something special. Unfortunately, that's where the slip came and whilst the pair quickly transitioned into something else, with Ki laying into Everett before we got a sweet shooting star press near fall, most of the drive had been sucked out. Ki would go on to retain after pulling some wonderful facial expressions in the build towards his corner dropkick before pinning Everett with the Warrior's Way. 

• In the Arena - Rockstar Spud made his return to Impact by jumping Swoggle [Hornswoggle] in the crowd and gaining revenge by brutalising his rival with a hammer, whilst constantly shouting "Why?" in an unsettling segment.

el Patron def. EC3 in a Six Sides of Steel Match to retain GFW Global Championship and become #1 Contender to the Impact World Heavyweight Championship 

The main event Steel cage match wasn't the neatest of matches you'll see this year and at times even verged into clunky territory, but Alberto el Patron and Ethan Carter III brought the intensity and scrapped it out in brawly main event. With the gimmick being used well, there was lots of your generic steel cage spots early on, alongside some cool use of the comically large camera holes Impact has in their enclosure. The clash built itself up well with both men whipping out a couple of signatures for near falls and getting creative with the structure that allowed EC3 to hit a Samoan drop off the top rope and an electric chair facebuster to thwart escape attempts. The two shifted gears following a double knee armbreaker that el Patron usually uses to set up for his signature cross armbreaker, with EC3 managing to set El Presidente up for the TK3 only to find himself caught in the submission hold. After The Ass-Kicking Machine escaped, he got two decent near falls from the TK3 and a Sitout Powerbomb before the match reached it's crescendo on top of the cage. 

The finish here saw the match's most spectacular spot as after el Patron chased EC3 up to the top of the cage and managed to send him into a tree of woe with a series of nasty looking kicks. The GFW Global Champion sat a top the structure and then came crashing down with awe-inspiring double stomp. The move provided the bout with it's memorable moment, before el Patron retained and booked his place in the main event of Slammiversary with a rope-walk Frog Splash. Personally, I would've liked to have seen Alberto get the pin after the double stomp as that just felt like the matches natural conclusion, however having EC3 kick out of the move, before a frustrated champion went deeper into his arsenal, may have been even better. Overall, this was a cracking scrap of a cage match, with big near falls and an eye-catching highspot and whilst it would never get mistaken for a wrestling clinic, that wasn't what it needed to be either. 

Finally...

ATPW Scale Rating - 5.31/10

A better showing from Impact this week in their last show from Universal until Slammiversary. The opening segment was the peak for me, with the Barbershop Quarter complimenting Ethan Carter III's stellar villain work, whilst his main event cage match with Alberto el Patron also delivered. Low Ki v Andrew Everrett showed promise until the slip and Moose v Eli Drake was an okay showing of the pair despite the cumbersome rules of the Grand Championship. Allie's match with Amber Nova went too long and the LAX v Veterans of War match didn't meet my expectations, in part because the match was needlessly labelled as No DQ. Putting the Josh Mathews and Jeremy Borash feud on the backburner was certainly a positive with Mathews commentary with just D'Angelo Dinero being much more palatable than anything that occurred when he was having to bicker back and forth with JB over the matches. 

The tapings from Mumbai, India begin next week and I'm more than a little intrigued to see how they come off on television. I'm hoping for a return to the madness that was Ring Ka King as we head toward Slammiversary on 2nd July.