Opinion: Every WWE Theme Ranked - Part 2 or How I Still Have Too Much Time On My Hands

Before we get back to the business of subjective list making, I want to throw out a challenge, if you disagreed with my rankings here, please make your own list and send it to me. I know that so many of you had complaints (especially about my placement of Mark Henry. I'm right by the way. It's not a good song) about this but here's the thing, the sheer joy of list making is that everyone's list is probably going to be different and even if it's the same, it might be the same for different reasons. This isn't my way of antagonistically saying 'if you're so smart, why don't you teach the class then', this is my way of saying, please if you disagree with me, take the time to think about this and tell me why you disagree. Also, if you are Mojo Rawley and you have an issue with Part 1, know that you are the problem. And with that, list ahoy:

25. Sasha Banks - Sky's The Limit by CFO$

Song - 8/10
Gimmick - 9/10

I want to like this theme more. The theme works so well, it’s much like Tye’s (which we’ll get to shortly) where it can be genuinely inspirational as a face and falsely egotistical as a heel but much like Sasha as a face, it can feel forced. The big chorus the more you listen to it seems cynical, like an attempt to craft a moment instead of one actually happening. The soaring melodies are really under-delivered with some thin guest vocals. I’m sure the song sounds a lot better coming out of the speakers of this Kubla-Khanian Pleasuredomes that the WWE perform in but from the home speaker system, it feels so close to the finished article but at the same time, lacking.

24. The Miz - I Came to Play by Downstait

Song - 8/10
Gimmick 9/10

 Awesome. Everything about the Miz is awesome. He wrestles awesome, he delivers awesome promos, his wife Maryse is awesome and his films are… most of the things about the Miz are awesome. His theme is nearly as awesome as he is. Now we can all sit around and just complain that his promo video for WrestleMania 27 gave him the perfect theme in Nas’ Hate Me Now but it’s for naught, The Miz will be stuck being awesome and that’s fine by me. Downstait have provided a lot of good theme work for WWE, it’s just a shame that a lot of their vocals aren’t quite as good as their instrumental.

23. Naomi: Amazing (Remix) by CFO$ ft. Naomi

Song - 9/10
Gimmick - 8/10

Before we begin, can someone define 'The Glow' for me? Is Naomi buzz marketing for the upcoming series on the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling? Either way club banger rave shit works better for her than 'I have a bum'. Amazing (Remix) is definitely a banger, it could actually be heard on a Friday night at Snobs (nice little plug for you Birmingham club guys and gals out there) and not be out of place in a way that a lot of WWE style covers can be. But seriously, what the fuck is the Glow?

22. The Revival (Dash Wilder & Scott Dawson) - Southern Proud by CFO$

Song - 9/10
Gimmick - 8/10

The Revival are a pair of top guys, that much is not up for dispute today. Appropriately, ths is a pretty top theme. It’s a big old school song full of Southern Pride. Funnily enough again, it’s a theme for a team who are all about old school revival. And it’s called Southern Pride. Anyway, this song also happens to be really goofy, the lyrics are very, very silly including such highlights including ‘we got fists made of fire, and our neck all red’. It would almost be a parody if it didn’t treat itself so seriously and when it wants to, boy does it go hard but for the one time mechanics, you wish it would go harder. Song 8/10 Gimmick 10/10

21. Samoa Joe - Destroyer by CFO$

Song - 8/10
Gimmick - 10/10

Joe is a monster with a theme worthy of Gojira and friends with it’s opening horns giving way to a giant roar. Luckily not then giving way to a weird funky little bassline but to even bigger fuzzier bass stomping forward like a murderous boombox. This is undeniably spectacular and certainly does its job in selling Joe as a monster in a way that not even Scott Steiner could do before it but it can’t help but get a little stale after more than a minute of listening.

20. Tye Dillinger - Ten by CFO$

Song - 8/10
Gimmick 10/10

He may be the perfect ten but he misses out on a perfect twenty here. Tye’s music has some grand synth horn work occasionally sounding almost like a brassier Muse and here’s the thing, the music works perfectly whether he’s Heel or Face, it’s either a big entrance for the most undervalued face on the roster or a grandiose entrance for the most braggadocious (Is that a word? Trump seems to think so. We said we weren’t discussing politics, Joe) person on the roster not named The Miz. Now, if only they could sort out the voiceover lady saying Ten to sound more fluidly worked into the mix because as it stands, it feels really separate. Picky, I know, but if he wants to be perfect…

19. Kevin Owens - Fight by CFO$

Song - 8/10
Gimmick - 10/10 

The prizefighter is possibly the best of the modern iterations of the 'big lad with a big theme' sub-genre with some lovely harmonics going on and a sound engineer who actually knows how to record drums which is a rare delight for the WWE. It also happens to be something that I’d imagine KO could make work for him should he turn face (Turn? Who am I Kidding? Team Kevin and Chris are this year’s biggest damn heroes). It's sadly another case of just needing something more to break that repetition to make it a classic which is something that ironically, I’m thinking is starting to get repetitive as a criticism.

18. Triple H: The Game by Motörhead

Song - 8/10
Gimmick - 10/10 

Crotch chops, water spray, joke about dichotomy between reputation of burying younger talent and also Dad of NXT raising a new generation, RIP Lemmy, something about Shawn Michaels, all that lovely stuff.

17. AJ Styles - Phenomenal by CFO$

Song - 8/10 
Gimmick - 10/10

A phenomenal theme for a wrestler who’s talents match up to his moniker as the phenomenal one. A lovely slice of DMX-esque Southern-fried rap with some unique organ work underpinning some surprisingly unembarrassing rap verses. It also befits AJ’s status that it can slot into whatever mood Styles’ entrance is trying to set. It’s just a shame that the MC is placed so oddly in the mix (possibly not to clash with entrance announcers?) that it’s almost a faint annoyance. It’s just a few tweaks away from being perfect.

16. No Way Josè - No Way by CFO$

Song - 8/10 
Gimmick - 10/10 

Big, bold, ridiculous and insanely catchy, Josè's theme may well be the single-most earworm-worthy track on this list with its summer club vibes playing well with NWJ's signature style. Much like Bayley's theme, the song does suffer from repetition over repeated listens. Seriously, I get that they mostly make two minute songs that loop (sometimes one minute loops) but honestly, would it kill them to write a four minute song? Would it?

15. Chris Jericho - Break Down The Walls/Break The Walls Down by Adam Morenoff

Song - 8/10
Gimmick - 10/10 

At this point, there is no argument that WWE is just waiting for Jericho to retire to give him his Hall of Fame ring. Luckily for us, Jericho seems to have at least a couple more years in him if for no other reason than his entrance theme is still a corker. Hailing from the era when every theme it seems had to sound like Linkin Park took an early pass at it but this one works where many others didn’t (sorry to generate controversy but the D Generation X theme is not good. Not good at all). The best and worst thing about his theme is it still sounds the same to me as when we first heard it. It has a nice nostalgia to it that despite character changes, his music remains the same but maybe given a hint of millennial polish, the song would sound less creaky.

14. Bayley: Turn It Up by CFO$

Song - 8/10 
Gimmick - 10/10 

This song just is Bayley: it’s fun, infectious and even if you don’t like it, you can’t deny you don’t forget it. The theme is one of the purest pieces of pop music that CFO$ have ever produced with a big chorus that can make even the most jaded smark feel like they’re Izzy. The problem is, it’s just the chorus. Not all WWE songs need to have two verses and a bridge but it feels like it’s just a like they wrote the first thirty seconds then coasted over the other three and a half. That said, when it hits at Wrestle<ania and the towering tube men burst out, I defy anyone not to smile.

13. Gran Metalik - Metalico by CFO$

Song - 9/10 
Gimmick - 9/10 

I'm breaking my own rules as Gran is still clearing up some commitments to CMLL before he signs with WWE full-time but his theme is so fantastic that I had to throw it in here. It only loses points for being slightly less incredible than his CWC theme. But he’s Lucha as fuck, he’s also hardcore as fuck, the theme is LuchaCore as fuck. A lovely big slice of thundering guitars and rousing brass, I have nothing else to add but fuck yeah. If we take anything from today, it's more MariachiCore please.

12. The Wyatt Family (Bray Wyatt, Luke Harper & Randy Orton) - Live in Fear by Mark Crozer

Song - 9/10
Gimmick - 9/10

The Wyatt family’s theme is great. The Wyatt family’s entrance are great. Pretty much every member of the Wyatt family are great in the ring. So, why is it that I find myself unable to have this theme break the top 10? It’s not just that the New Orleans voodoo vibe loses some of its mystery and threat after seeing so many aimless ‘spoooky’ promos followed by losses for the team is it? I mean it would be really unfair of me to rate a theme lower just because they keep losing. Yet here we are, this is the laziest sentence I’m ever going to write but do you know why I’ve put The Wyatts here? Because I just don’t like their theme as much as the next eleven. That’s it, I can’t be bothered to explain further. Moving on.

11. Rich Swann: Around The World by CFO$

Song - 9/10 
Gimmick - 9/10 

- 'North, south, east and west, everybody know my name, and your daddy's gone but your momma's home, we can bring her we ain't got no shame'. 205 Live’s resident intergenerational family threesome expert has a bit of an old school funk vibe that says ‘we couldn’t pay for the rights to ‘All Night Long’ but we’re going to give you something good anyway’. And give him something good they did. The only major issue with his theme is that on recording it loses a little something that it gains from seeing Swann dance and lip sync it to the ring but still a good time had for all who can handle it.

10. TJ Perkins - Playing With Power by CFO$

Song - 9/10
Gimmick - 9/10 

Hey did you hear? TJP likes video games. He really likes them. So much he even wears some glasses now that are pixel shaped. He loves them so much he has chiptune music for his entrance and awkwardly slots video game phrases into conversation. Overkill. As much as many of us may find The Pixelisation of TJ Perkins to be faintly annoying, you can’t argue that the actual work done on his theme is rather superb sounding like an Anamanaguchi retooling of Dr. Wily’s theme so good that even Kenny Omega is probably jealous and who does Omega have to be jealous of? Basically no one else. He’s a perfect human being. But enough about Kenny Omega, well done on hitting it out of the park with another genre CFO$. Now let’s work on toning down those video game references, TJ. We get it.

9. Seth Rollins: Second Coming by CFO$

Song - 9/10
Gimmick - 9/10 

Seth Rollins is the new Shawn Michaels. Seth Rollins is the new Edge. Seth Rollins is the new CM Punk. Seth Rollins is the new everyone. Will anyone let Seth Rollins just be Seth freaking Rollins? At least his music doesn’t seem like an ‘ahem’ Second Coming of anyone else. The Architect’s music is a rollocking slice of hardcore brilliance with some deafening drums and guitars making for one of the most anthemic themes of the modern day. Mostly it’s let down by a lack of a personal touch, you could give this music to almost anyone on the roster and it would work for them. Not to say it isn’t great for Seth but it’s not as inseparable from him as some of the classics we’re about to get to.

8. Shane McMahon - Here Comes The Money by Naughty by Nature

Song - 9/10
Gimmick - 10/10

Here comes the money, and with it, a bloody great slice of prep rap. Shane’s theme is the most superbly naff piece of rap in the ‘E outside of, well, his sisters but bloody hell, it works. Hot Dad Shane is the guy that comes to the ring in a suit and trainers, he’s probably the dad that overcompensates on birthdays and tries to play his kid’s music in the car and sing along. He probably practices dabbing with TJ Perkins. But that’s just who he is, he’s not cool but when he embraces and owns his image, he’s great. Plus he is pure money. I mean sure, you get the feeling he probably likes Vince Vaughan movies but nobody, and very few themes’, is perfect.

7. Asuka - The Future by CFO$

Song - 9/10
Gimmick - 10/10

Bear with me here because if you don’t think this theme isn’t utter brilliance, you’re fucking wrong. Just before we continue, go and stick on some King Crimson, maybe start with 21^st Century Schizoid Man. Now listen to The Future again. DO you get it yet? Asuka is the Empress of Tomorrow powered by the prog swagger of King Crimson. Her song is an unstoppable beat of lurching guitar lines and convincing freakout solo work. In fact the only thing stopping this theme from making it further up the list is that it just fades out. I know that so many of the themes have just a fade out but such joyous guitar fuckery shouldn’t have to just fade away, it should burn out in an outro of such frivolous proportions that all who witness it makes grown men weep.

6. John Cena - The Time Is Now by John Cena & Tha Trademark

Song - 9/10
Gimmick - 10/10

Love him or hate him, you can't deny everything about Cena has been so finely tuned that he is basically the master of his own iconography. Possibly because of the multiple Cena memes but this theme is as inseperable to Cena’s image as the hats that he loves to throw into the crowd. His theme also happens to be another one of those proper songs with a pop-rap vibe that many have tried to replicate but few have outdone with those massive rap horns laying over rarely bettered Jim Johnston breakbeat. Plus Cena can drop bars when he wants to.

5. The Brian Kendrick - Man With A Plan by Christ Goulstone ft. Nick Walker

Song - 9/10
Gimmick - 10/10

The man with a plan seems to have shown that step one of his plan is have one of the greatest theme of all, damn, time. This also not counting that ‘Hey You’ and London & Kendrick’s ‘New Rockers’ were no slouches either. Great themes match their superstar’s personality but also their motion and the cocky sway of this song fits perfectly with the paradoxically smooth yet jagged movements of Kendrick. Plus, in response to my criticism of Jericho’s theme, for his current run it’s been given what sounds like a clean lick of paint making it sound more vital than ever. Sadly it just misses out on the next spot because it’s very good, great even but you know what it’s not? It’s not…

4. Bobby Roode - Glorious Domination by CFO$

Song - 10/10
Gimmick - 9/10 

GLORIOUS. You knew it was coming eventually but there was no way that a piece of music as glorious as Glorious Domination wouldn’t…dominate. Look, we all know how good this one is, it’s stupidly good, it’s brilliant, it’s GLORIOUS. I’ve not got any other compliments for this, I  mean, how could you not? It’s a big dumb theme for a loveable babyface not the sound of acould tell you about how it expertly merges Muse pastiche choruses with speed metal bridges but all you really want is for me to keep typing GLORIOUS in capital letters. Now you may note a 9/10 up there, do you know why? It’s because you keep cheering for him, I dastardly heel, it’s impossible to boo the entrance of a man with that theme. That said, it’s a minor complaint for one of the crowning glories of humanity. Bobby Roode’s not bad either.

3. Finn Balor - Catch Your Breath by CFO$

Song - 10/10
Gimmick - 10/10

Here we are, the top three. I’m quite pleased to say that three songs have gained full marks from me and none had less than a 6/20. I think it says quite a bit to the positive of Johnston and CFO$ that so many pieces rank so highly and so few particularly low. Or maybe it just says I’m a nice person who doesn’t criticize too heavily. On that note, fuck Mojo Rawley. I digress, having been given time to Catch Your Breath (groan), let’s discuss the joyous surprise of Finn Balor. I know that Finn had a storied history in his Prince Devitt days but rarely have even in the Indie buyout world of modern NXT, have WWE managed to gather an essentially finished package as there is Balor and complimented by a theme to befit both Balor Club and the Demon. There’s a lot to be said for the link between music and movement in the WWE and when you hear the grandiose orchestral sorcery, you can begin to imagine the very movements of Balor. It’s impressive as well that without any lyrics, there is storytelling and progression in the music itself which unites itself with Balor, possibly the finest storyteller in the WWE. I feel that this theme could become iconic. Move over Bray Wyatt, I think it’s clear who the new Undertaker is. And not just because they both have ten minute entrances. Plus, I think the 10/10 makes this clear, it’s bloody mega song-craft on top of all that.

2. Sami Zayn: Worlds Apart by CFO$

Song - 10/10
Gimmick 10/10

I want you all to consider quite how perfect everything is about Sami Zayn’s theme. Zayn is known as "The Underdog from the Underground", he is someone that everything about his image is based on being undervalued. Now also consider that he enters to a classic slice of Ska Punk, Ska and Punk are traditional sounds of the rebels, the underground burnouts, the kids in the skate park going nowhere fast because they’re undervalued. Ska Punk itself is a tragically un-loved subgenre, especially in comparison to its pure Ska dad, but frankly if you can’t handle me at my Mighty Mighty Bosstones, you don’t deserve me at my Operation Ivy. It helps that Zayn is a self-confessed Skanatic but even if  Rami Sebei absolutely hated it, it makes perfect sense as a sonic representation of Zayn the character. It also helps that it is a great big face-wide smile, skanking till the break of dawn masterpiece of soaring ‘whoahs’, chugging horns and a lovely running bass line. It's not just good, not just great, it's 'Worlds Apart' from the rest (I'm so sorry, I swear I'll stop).

1. Shinsuke Nakamura - The Rising Sun by CFO$

Song - 10/10
Gimmick 10/10

I know, you're all shocked that this is number one but you know what, (just to link back to my very first article for ATPW) sometimes the most predictable finish can also be the most logical one. When WWE announced earlier this year they were bringing in Nakamura, many couldn't believe it would go aswell as it did in that he is so far from traditional WWE style. When people ask how does he pull off his finisher without just kneeing the guy in the head, the answer is he just knees the guy in the head. Hulk Hogan was not strong Style. But here's why his theme worked so well, Nakamura is nothing like anyone else in the 'E, not even fellow Japanese Wrestling imports like Itami, Asuka or Balor. His music is also like nothing else CFO$ have produced. Instead of adjusting to NXT, he's made the entire company step their game up for him. Step up, indeed they did. Creating a maelstrom of strings, scattering trip hop beats and just an undercurrent of jagged guitars, it's a beautiful symphony but also a brutal, destructive one. It's a royal march worthy of our ruling monarch of strong style. Long live the king. Yeaoh.

....

(Editor's Note - Admit it, you thought I wouldn't include the video to the #1 song... #YEAOH)

Words - Jozef Raczka (@NotJozefRaczka)

Media - James Marston (@IAmNotAlanDale)

Editor - James Marston

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TV Review: WWE Smackdown Live #895 - AJ Styles v James Ellsworth + WWE Talking Smack #12 - Nikki Bella Interview

Two days removed from the No Mercy supercard, WWE's Smackdown brand was in San Jose, California with a card headlined by World Champion AJ Styles facing hand-picked opponent, James Ellsworth, with Dean Ambrose slotting in as the special guest referee. With Kane, Randy Orton, NEW Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler, Bray Wyatt and a returning Luke Harper getting major spots, would Smackdown come out of swinging as the brand began it's journey towards Autumn's biggest event, Survivor Series? 

So, yeah, this week's main event saw World Champion AJ Styles pinned by lowly underdog job guy James Ellsworth. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about this and it was quite possibly one of the hardest matches I've ever had to give a rating to. For a bit of context, Dean Ambrose played the role of special guest referee and, of course, gave Ellsworth every opportunity he could. This included various comedy spots, Ambrose tripping Styles and seemingly taking a phone call just as Ellsworth tapped to the Calf Crusher. Of course, after Styles had hit a Styles Clash (that would have broken Ellsworth's neck, had Styles not been able to shift his weight at the last moment), Ambrose refused to count the pin and went on to hit two Dirty Deeds to give a limp Ellsworth the win. I found it all mildly entertaining, but not all that funny and I'm not quite sure what it achieves in the long run. With six weeks of television to fill before Survivor Series, I can see why a side story was needed and I understand why Ellsworth was chosen for his cult stardom, but the whole shape of the match felt backwards and I'll go into a bit further down.

The semi-main was Luke Harper's return to action for the first time since March, tagging with Bray Wyatt for a victory over Randy Orton and Kane. I wasn't particularly enamoured with main bulk of the contest, which mainly consisted of Orton and Kane getting beats on, feeling like every piece of Wyatt Family offence was responded to with five or six things from the makeshift babyface team of former WrestleMania opponents. I'm not sure what was up with Kane because his offence was sloppy and he took a poor bump into the barricade. A sub-par performance from a guy who is usually reliable for this kind of spot. For all the awkwardness of the build to finish with Kane arguing with the ref, giving Harper a chance to slide in a hit a superkick on Orton, the actual finish was pretty damn cool. Moments after the superkick, Wyatt missed a running senton and with both men reaching for the tag, the lights went out, Wyatt's screen gimmick hit and when they came up, Harper was standing in Orton's corner and Kane had completely disappeared. It looked fantastic and was worked quickly enough that it got a good pop out of the crowd. Wyatt won the bout with a Sister Abigail on Orton. With Harper back there's potential to create some interesting stuff with Orton and Wyatt, parts of the match touched on how good it could be, hopefully it's those parts that are empathised going forward.   

So, I've explained the Styles v Ellsworth bout, but not quite how it came about. It all began with what was probably the strongest work of the show as Styles dazzled on the microphone with a powerful egotistical promo. He spoke about his victory at No Mercy, bragging about his beating John Cena and Dean Ambrose in the same night, glossed over the fact that he tapped out to both, as well as playing with the crowd, initially basking in a portion of cheers, before burning those cheering, by saying that they had to live through him. After a short interlude where Dean Ambrose claimed Styles was afraid to fight him, Styles announced his hand-picked opponent as James Ellsworth, who confusedly walked down the ramp, apparently unaware. The segment would conclude with General Manager Daniel Bryan making Ambrose the special guest referee. As mentioned above this didn't quite sit right with me as stacking the deck against a champion, having the Authority figure place a crooked referee in charge, almost makes Styles the match's babyface. 

The opener saw the new Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler get a victory over The Spirit Squad duo of Kenny (Dykstra) and Mikey (Mondo) in a Two-on-One Handicap match, that would hopefully put that story to bed. The match went too long for me, which might have been something to do with them airing it through the advert break. With The Miz on commentary, I would have bought more into the action had he been more involved in the action, giving the distractions that allowed Kenny and Mikey to take control. The bout plodding along for four or five minutes and I just couldn't buy into the Spirit Squad as threat. The double DDT spot by Ziggler was nice, but having the momentum switch back and give Kenny a near fall felt unnecessary at this point. The most interesting thing that came out of the match was Tag Team Champions Heath Slater and Rhyno making the save for the victorious Ziggler, as Miz and Spirit Squad attempted to take him out post match. 

Before the bout, Dolph Ziggler opened the show with a hot crowd hanging on his every word. It was the right decision to start the show with the hottest storyline that the show had coming out of No Mercy and Ziggler took the moment and ran with it. He built his promo wonderfully, talking about his feelings before his retirement match and concluded with a passion declaration that he belonged in this ring. He also made the belt feel like a big part of what he had to say, constantly referencing what it meant to him and making sure to hold it aloft at every opportunity. The Miz and Maryse's interruption also featured some good content, with the highlight having to be the pair dressed entirely in black and supposedly being in a period of mourning for Miz's title loss. Whilst Ziggler and the crowd taking the piss out of Miz for seemingly crying on Sunday at first didn't sit right to me, Miz rallying out with a fiery speech, saying that he'd do absolutely anything to get the title back and leading into introducing the Spirit Squad for the aforementioned handicap match.

Best of the Rest 

• Naomi pinned Carmella after Nikki Bella caused a distraction at ringside, with Carmella eventually able to escape an attack from Bella by running through the crowd.

• Against the run of play, Jimmy Uso defeated Chad Gable - Commissioner Shane McMahon & General Manager Daniel Bryan challenged RAW's Commissioner Stephanie McMahon & General Manager Mick Foley to three matches for 20th November's Survivor Series supercard, all traditional Survivor Series elimination matches with one for male singles, one for female singles and one for tag teams – Before her match, Carmella attacked Nikki Bella backstage...

Finally...

ATPW Scale Rating - 3.88/10

Show in a Sentence - Strong promos, ineffective matches and questionable stories.

Strongest Moment - Dolph Ziggler and The Miz opening the show

Weakest Moment - Dolph Ziggler v The Spirit Squad

Only a short episode of Talking Smack this week, but an interesting one for sure. Nikki Bella's interview was the headliner, but there was a lot going on elsewhere also. 

I found myself rather enjoying Renee Young and Daniel Bryan interviewing Nikki Bella, in a way that I perhaps didn't expect I would. This was mainly because Bella felt like she being real, rather than attempting to deliver a promo or play a character, whilst still remaining true to current storylines. This was helped by her chemistry with brother-in-law Bryan, which came across well as they joked and teased each other. A really good plug for the Total Bellas reality show. I would have liked to have seen Bella discuss her feud with Carmella a bit more, as well as sell the attack from Carmella earlier in the night, but perhaps that is asking too much? 

Best of the Rest 

• James Ellsworth's appearance was highlighted by Daniel Bryan announcing that Ellsworth had a World Championship match on next week's Smackdown Live - Bray Wyatt & Luke Harper appeared in the studio and both cut angry and creepy but low key promos 

Finally... 

Show in a Sentence - A nice way to round out the evening, with some brave experiments with different styles.

Words - James Marston

Smackdown Live Banner - Kai Stellar

TV Review: WWE Smackdown Live #886 - Dolph Ziggler & Dean Ambrose v The Wyatt Family

With World Champion Dean Ambrose teaming with Dolph Ziggler against The Wyatt Family and Alberto Del Rio taking on Randy Orton providing two marquee matches for Tuesday night, would the penultimate Smackdown Live before SummerSlam be affected by the absence of AJ Styles and John Cena?

Opening and closing Smackdown Live this week, we had the on-going feud involving World Champion Dean Ambrose, Dolph Ziggler and Wyatt Family members, Bray Wyatt and Erick Rowan. The curtain up was arguably the strongest part of the show, starting with an intense promo from Wyatt covering Ziggler's victory over him on #885, as well as his desire to make Smackdown Live "his show". The Eater of World's looked like he believed everyone of his words and built the promo towards a crescendo, for Ambrose to interrupted him. The difference that are being show between The Lunatic Fringe and The Show-Off, like Ambrose being reluctant to fight Wyatt Family, whilst Ziggler rushed into the action, are what's keeping their feud interesting. The segment concluded with Wyatt standing tall after throwing Ambrose into a superkick from Ziggler, before finishing off the #1 Contender with Sister Abigail. Having Wyatt show intelligence to use the two World title rivals against each other in the scrap added an extra depth to their tag match that was later booked by Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan. 

The tag match between the two was a simple tag bout, again used to showcase the relationship between Ziggler and Ambrose and the capabilities of Wyatt. Ambrose worked the lunatic in peril role, taking a prolonged beating from Wyatt and Rowan, but the best action of the contest actually came in a sequence between Ziggler and Big Red following the hot tag. The #1 Contender attempting to knock Rowan off his feet was a cool twist on two wrestling cliches and carried the contest towards it's finish well. Ziggler would pick up the pin on Rowan following a superkick, but the closing sequence was damaged by Ambrose slipping when hitting Wyatt with a suicide dive. A respectable main event, but nothing that's worth seeking out. Ambrose hitting Dirty Deeds on Ziggler following the bell felt a little tacked on, but I'll reserve judgement completely until next week's show and wait to see how the storyline plays out.

Randy Orton's disqualification victory over Alberto Del Rio was the strongest match this week, but like the main event, hardly pulled up any trees. It was weird seeing ADR placed in such a high profile match, after the first two week's of the re-formatted Smackdown Live, have seen him exit a Battle Royal early and then not even feature on last week's outing. He did, however, put in a strong enough performance for him to be considered for a more prominent role on the show going forward. He produced a spirited and technically sound approach to the match, targeting Orton's arm and bringing a concentration to the contest that has been too few and far between since his WWE return last October. It was the first time he'd got to work a TV match with Orton in over three years, so perhaps getting to face a formerly familiar opponent, as well as the jump up the card motivated him to bring a little more to his game here. 

The finish felt a little out of place, as ADR took a chair to Orton's arm (which he'd sold terrifically all match) after being thrown into the time keeper's area, causing the DQ. Perhaps it was to show how much of a beating that The Viper can take and still manage to spring up for an RKO, ahead of his 21st August match with Brock Lesnar. However, considering how ADR has been presented on programming over the last month and half, with only four singles matches since June, with only one victory and losing to Cesaro and Darren Young, it felt odd for WWE to protect him from the pinfall victory, against an Orton who has a major match coming up on the companies second biggest show of 2016. Perhaps it was to set up a bigger No DQ bout between the two on next week's episode, which I'd look forward too, especially with the prospect of a much cleaner finish than this. 

In the lower half of the card, Alexa Bliss would take advantage of Eva Marie's distraction to upset Becky Lynch in a brief but well-worked debut. Bliss didn't have much time to make an impression on the new audience in the ring, but got her character over nicely in short promo when accepting Lynch's open challenge. The main storyline however, was Marie initially being unable to compete for the second week running, because the straps on her top came untied, which got one of the biggest pops on the show, because yanno breasts. I'm feeling like Marie's various excuses to not compete are going to become my favourite part of Tuesday nights, as it's only going to make portions of the audience hate her even more. It also means that when Marie finally ties it up with someone in the ring that the match will be a much bigger contest than it would have been last week or this week. Lynch presents a nice juxtaposition to Marie and extenuated this well with her promo issuing the open challenge. 

Also in the Women's division, Carmella got revenge on Natalya with another short but solid debut clash. Rabobank Arena seemed to quickly warm to The Princess of Staten Island and began to get behind her, as she battled against her rival, who has taken on the role of a cocky veteran bully. I feel like Natalya's performance had a lot to do with keeping the crowd warm, as she was constantly posturing, mouthing off to the fans whilst locking in wear down holds and putting on purposefully lackadaisical pins. Whilst it gives Carmella some huge momentum straight off the bat, I was disappointed to see her pick up a four minutes submission victory with the Code of Silence, as I was hoping that the contest would go for another five minutes or so and such a conclusive finish seems to put to bed any momentum that the feud itself could have picked up after just two weeks.  

Rounding off the most notable action, Rhyno picked up his first (non-NXT) WWE singles win since a victory over Simon Dean on Sunday Night Heat in February 2005, to deny Heath Slater a Smackdown Live contract. The Bakersfield crowd was pretty mild for another short encounter, which lacked urgency and any of the entertaining antics that Slater brings to his mic work. It's an odd storyline to expect an audience to get behind, Slater is working as a comedy heel trying to earn a job, are the crowd supposed to be against him being hired by anyone and cheer for his opponent (a guy who has only just returned to WWE) to keep him out of the company? It was a strange decision to have Rhyno reveal that he'd already been given a contract in a backstage skit beforehand, as if both had been fighting for a contract then we might have had an interesting contest that the crowd could have got behind.

Best of the Rest 

• American Alpha (Jason Jordan and Chad Gable) picked up a squash victory over California duo Mike Vega and Mikey O'Shea, before fending off The Vaudevillains (Aiden English & Simon Gotch), The Hype Bros (Mojo Rawley & Zack Ryder) and The Ascension (Konnor & Viktor).
• A preview for AJ Styles v John Cena at SummerSlam on 21st August aired.

Finally...

ATPW Scale Rating - 5.29/10

Watchable is probably the word I'd use to describe this week's edition of Smackdown Live. The two top matches were both decent encounter, offering storyline development in the main event and solid action in the Orton v ADR match (which admittedly seemed to be just treading water for Orton before SummerSlam). In mid-card was entertaining again for the most part, expanding a couple of storylines (especially in the women's division) but not giving enough time or space for the action to develop into anything significant. Putting on match on Smackdown and the other on Main Event would have allowed for them both to be much more satisfying encounters. 

With just one more episode til SummerSlam, I'd be expecting next week's go-home edition to have a lot more to offer.

All content - James Marston

PPV Review: WWE Battleground 2016 - Dean Ambrose v Roman Reigns v Seth Rollins

It's all been going on in WWE recently, hasn't it? Title matches on TV, the big ol' draft with the brands and what have you, NXT call ups and Zack Ryder ending up with a US title shot for reason that I'm even sure he understands. But were Vince and the boys going to stop there? Hell na, where they! Bring on a PPV, because...PPV. How would the WWE landscape look after Battleground and more importantly, would it be any good? 

Let's get down to business straight away, Dean Ambrose only went and retained his WWE Championship in a triple threat match with Seth Rollins and the returning Roman Reigns. What a moment for Ambrose here, that really solidified his title reign, just five weeks after a Money in the Bank cash-in, as he went over two of the top names in the company, clean. No shenanigans, Ambrose hit Reigns with Dirty Deeds and that was that. Whether it was a huge statement of belief from WWE on "The Lunatic Fringe" as a prolonged headliner or whether it came down to circumstance with the renewed brand-split a few days earlier and wanted to stack Ambrose's Smackdown with legitimacy (think the same reasons John Cena and Randy Orton ended up on the show), I think we'll have to wait a bit longer to find out. However, it does mean that Ambrose should get an opportunity to headline next month's SummerSlam special, which would be a massive moment for Dean, right now. 

The triple threat was an extremely satisfying main event, that worked towards the crowd reaction and played to what the majority of fans wanted to see. I mentioned earlier how the match went with what the audience wanted to see and this was obviously in reference to Ambrose and Rollins teaming up together to take out Reigns. The crowd was so hot for Reigns, that had it gone any other way, then the reaction would have been nowhere near as strong. There was so much to like from the match taking this route, like the sequence with a suicide dive from Ambrose and tope conhilo from Rollins, the old Shield style powerbomb and into Rollins nailing Ambrose with a steel chair invoking images of the groups original break up. Another great sequence of action from Rollins and Ambrose was the icing on the cake. The structure of the match, seemed to be Reigns being put in his place by WWE's chunky cheeses, as even though he clearly wasn't "buried", he definitely wasn't allowed as many moments to shine or "look strong" as he would have been a six months ago.

The contest took a while to find it's rhythm with a few minutes of "one in, one out" stuff, but once the three guys got going and the story of the match began ticking over, with the twists and turns started coming, it built into a hell of a three way. As soon Reigns had hit his Drive-By kick on Rollins, it was time to buckle in, because the match really took off at that point. It built and built and built with extra layers being added, whether that be through sequences of action, something extra for the story or a immense near fall, it had the people hyped until the final moments, especially with Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan out at ringside to lift them when needed. The finish felt like it came a little too soon, maybe because of the way it was put together, with "The Lunatic Fringe" nicking in on Reigns with Dirty Deeds after he'd hit a Superman Punch and Spear on Rollins. It was such a sudden conclusion and I feel like there was a bit more to see here with these guys, so maybe there's a plan for another three way somewhere along the line. 

Before I get into John Cena, Enzo & Cass going over The Club, it'd be almost rude not to talk about Enzo Amore (and to a lesser extent Big Cass) bringing his A-grade promo skills to PPV and whipping the Verizon Center into a complete frenzy. Amore had managed to run down all three members of The Club on this past Monday's RAW and he went topped it here. With a special ability to be funny, but completely serious at the same time, be able to get the audience to laugh with a line about the Scream trilogy one moment and then make them want to see a fight the next moment, Amore makes every second he's one the screen count. Just like their in-ring partnership,  Cass is always there to provide one hefty exclamation point on the whole situation and that's why I'm so happy that the duo weren't broken up last Tuesday! 

Amore would play a major role in the set-up of the match, being part of the hot face shine, that included Cass lobbing both Amore and AJ Styles over the top on the other Club members, before becoming the Certified G in peril. "Jersey's Finest" has really carved out a niche for himself in this position during his time in NXT and now on the main roster, not many can take a beating quite like Enzo. The bruising style of Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson played well into this, with there being a strong dynamic between the three, that got the crowd super invested into every hope spot for "Muscles Marinara". I love to see what Enzo & Cass and Gallows & Anderson could do together as a foursome if given the chance on Monday Night RAW. The moment when Amore was able to take out the entire Club on the outside of the ring, only to get nailed by a huge flying knee by Anderson, was worked to perfection by everyone involved and possibly my favourite sequence of the entire night. It did mean however that the actual hot tag, that saw Amore dodge a splash from Gallows, was a little flat by comparison. 

Although I'd have liked to have seen more Cena v Styles one on one, the final third of the match was equally as entertaining as what had came before it, with the tempo being upped and all six guys getting involved, in-side and out-side of the ring. After we'd got passed the shoe-horned stuff involving members of each team accidentally hitting each other, the match erupted with Cena taking a spinebuster from Anderson onto the announce table and Amore nailing "The Machine Gun" with a planted DDT off the step. The booking off the final straight worked for me, with Anderson & Gallows looking dominant against Enzo & Cass, hitting the Magic Killer on "The Big Bambino" before Gallows bested "Smacktalker Skywalker" with a big ol' superkick, there window was left open for a future feud between these teams on Monday nights. The culmination with Cena and Styles battling on the top rope wasn't quite as smooth as it shoulder have been, with "The Phenomenal One" struggling to avoid a Super Attitude Adjustment never seeming to be going in any other direction, but it was definitely a cool way to bring the feud to end, although I can't help feeling that the pair deserve to have one more singles match together.

Sami Zayn defeated Kevin Owens and it was exactly how grudge matches are supposed to be presented in 2016. These lads made you think they hate each other and went at it from the opening bell, with every move being delivered with that extra bit of malice and intent, making for a compelling contest. By the end of the match, you could see what it meant for Zayn to have defeated Owens, like a proper no doubt about it, clean as a whistle win over his friend turned arch nemesis. He showed it in every movement he made during the match, but especially in the closing sequence as he nailed an exploder suplex into the bottom turnbuckle, a half and half suplex and two Helluva Kicks before draping himself over his opponent. After the match he looked liked he'd won a title belt, which considering the pair have cost each other World title shots, the Intercontinental Championship a few times and the Money in the Bank briefcase, felt particularly fitting. A real lesson in making a non-title contest feel as important as any prize in the company (without actually doing any damage to any other trophies, obviously) 

Christ, there was so much I liked about this match, that I'm struggling to formulate a coherent review of it. There were a collection of things that all contributed to the fight being a brilliant experience from beginning to end. Owens being an absolute boss when in control, managing to be annoyingly entertaining, as he trod on Zayn's hand and locked on head locks to spite the live audience. "The Prizefighter" targeting the arm after Zayn appeared to injure it on a botched Arabian Press attempt (that was probably the only foot put wrong in the entire match) in a case of the performers taking a negative and turning it into a positive, with it leading to a nasty looking Crossface "near fall". Then there was stuff like the brainbuster onto the apron by Zayn, Owens hitting a cannonball on Zayn with the later draped upside down in the turnbuckle, a superb sequence with Zayn nailing two half and half suplexes after Owens blocked the Helluva Kick and emotionally fueled slap battle. Then there was the near falls and falsies for Owens, first off a well-timed Frog Splash and a Pop-Up Powerbomb where Zayn got his foot on the ropes, simultaneously popping the people, whilst protecting Owens finish. Yeah, I liked this match, it was entertaining, emotional and clever wrestling. One more match at SummerSlam please? Surely these boys can't be on the same brand and not wanted to rip each others heads off and piss in the hole? I'll leave this here...ladder match, loser leaves RAW...gew on. 

You know how much I lurve a talking segment on a PPV! They are just the best, aren't they? I much prefer talking to wrestling. All those words that people use to convey meaning about things they have done or plan to do in the future. Okay, so Chris Jericho's Highlight Reel with a returning Randy Orton was actually an entertaining talking segment, that managed to tell a cool story and promoted Orton's upcoming match on 21st August with Brock Lesnar. But on PPV? Or Network special? Or whatever we're calling these situations in 2016. Nah, thanks. "The Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels has left the building" "I know 1004 holds and wrote them all down" "Say Goodbye to CM Punk" "Rick Rude or Robert Roode or whatever that jabronis name is" all brilliant talking segments (okay, maybe not that last one) for various reasons, but you know one things about them? They didn't happen on PPV. No. Stop it, WWE. This would have been a huge headline segment on tomorrow's RAW, but kind of got lost in the mix on this show. 

That's the rant bit over (for now), let's bring a bit of power of positivity to this hizzouse! Jericho and Orton owned this segment, like the two veteran performers that they are. The whole section was based on the idea that everyone knew how it was going to end, a bit like Romeo and Juliet, I suppose. Randy Orton was never going to leave that ring with nailing "Y2J" with one of those jumping cutters that he's so bloody fond of. This lead to a lot of build up with Jericho antipating the move and constantly calling "The Viper"'s bluff, which meant the spot got much more meaningful pop. Jericho worked his role as host well, finely walking the line between annoying and entertaining, just to the point where you'd quite like to see some lad try to yank his head off a bit. Orton on the other hand was dropping bombshells on Brock Lesnar about taking naughty substances and getting UFC all huffy and kind of also making WWE look a bit shitty for not doing anything about it. It was pretty cheap, but it got the crowd to pop, and will get some coverage, I suppose. Orton's clearly forgetting his two previous wellness policy violations under WWE, but let's brush that under the carpet, eh?

For the second PPV in a row the Women's Champion featured in a tag team match, as Sasha Banks and a debuting Bayley defeated Charlotte and Dana Brooke. It was a feel good moment to see Bayley turn up on a WWE PPV and her entrance got a tremendous reaction at the start of the show, a reaction which probably drove the match, in all honesty. Removed from the hype of Bayley's debut, this was an alright match in-ring. The action was pretty back and forth in the early going, with no one getting too much time in control. The audience was still hot for everything that was going on, as Bayley briefly slotted into a face in peril role, before Banks had a face shine/hot tag situation and Charlotte would take back control. It took a while to find it's grove, but once Brooke had taken advantage of Charlotte distracting Bayley, pulling her off the middle rope and sending her head crashing into the top turnbuckle, everyone found their place in the match and played it up well. 

The closing stages of the match struggled to keep up with the ideas that were involved, with a everything feeling a little rushed and more than a few timing issues. The biggest example of this was Bayley charging in way too early on a Natural Selection false finish, breaking up the pinfall before the referee's hand had even slapped the mat. Obviously, if you break up a cover this early, it stops being a falsie and takes away part of the drama that should have been building in those closing stages. The ending with Brooke interrupting a Banks Statement on Charlotte, only for Banks being able to lock it in again was another piece of action that didn't quite come across as I feel it should have. Brooke pulling Charlotte out of the ring looked rough and lacked the finesse that a major spot should have and I feel it took a little away from the finish. This was a solid tag match, but had the potential to be much better than that.

The Wyatt Family conquered The New Day in a surprisingly compact match, that was put together pleasingly but didn't quite break out into the top speed that I think I was expecting. Whether that's that Braun Strowman isn't as strong a worker as previous Wyatt Family member Luke Harper, or that the match was dampened slightly to allow the other six man tag to take the spotlight, I'm not quite sure. However, what was on display here was a gratifying watch with a handful of distinct elements that kept me interested from start to finish. Stuff like Kofi Kingston taking a beating and Big E going nuts on a hot tag, nailing an overhead Belly to Belly suplex on Erick Rowan, were all well and good, but the thing this match did best was the showdown between Xavier Woods and Bray Wyatt. Every hung on Woods firing up and finally going for Wyatt after being supposedly "under his spell", it could have came off as a bit corny, but the crowd popped big for it and Woods' going for it hammer and tongues produced a cool moment. The finish did feel anti-climactic as Wyatt simply used the spider walk to confuse Woods, a similar ending to their singles match on Smackdown last Tuesday.

Many years from now, wrestling fans will mingle with one another at a show and one will say to the other..."Do you remember when Darren Young got an Intercontinental Championship match on PPV?" the reply will be "No". Literally the only thing that happened before the finish was a fan heckling the phrase "Straight to DVD" at The Miz. I have no notes on anything else, so I have to accept that as gospel. I'm not even sure what happen during the finish, if I'm brutally honest with you. Miz's wife Maryse slapped Young's coach Bob Backlund, so Backlund took a back bump and then struggled to take his shirt off. Something else would probably happen and then Young locked in a Cross-faced Chicken Wing on Miz on the outside and the ref just called for the bell. I don't know. I don't know. Why were Young and Backlund so bloody happy to have not won anything at all? Why any of this? 

In another weird title feud, Rusev defeated Zack Ryder to retain the United States Championship. This match actually came off much better than it's IC counterpart, telling a simple underdog USA story for "The Long Island Iced Z" and keeping things lively with plenty of hope spots for Ryder as Rusev attempted to machka his American arse. The dropkick from Ryder off the barricade was the highlight of the match, being a well thought out spot that gave the pair plenty of time on the outside to re-group before heading for the finish. I was genuinely excited when Ryder hit a Rough Ryder and seemingly had the win, but then he weirdly went for an Elbow Drop instead of going for a pin, which would ultimately be his downfall. A long-ish spell in the Accolade, including a strong moment where it appeared "The Ultimate Broski" may have escaped, would spell the end for ol' Zachary. Oh yeah, Mojo Rawley turned up as well. I tried Mojo, but I couldn't even get hype for you, let alone stay hype, bud. 

Natalya defeating Becky Lynch with the Sharpshooter, probably came out being my sleeper match of the night. It wasn't anything spectacular, but the pair wrestled a solid match, that featured some lovely technical chain wrestling. The section when the pair both went for their respective finishers was super smooth and a real pleasure to watch. The finish was also novel idea, that involved the former Diva's Champion getting behind the referee in the corner, before kicking between his legs towards "The Lass Kickers" knee when the latter approached, in a decent end to the story the pair had told. I'd have liked that story to have kicked in just a little earlier as Natalya took quite a while to formulate a simple game plan of attacking Lynch's leg and with the contest not having a lot of time I'd have preferred to see it get straight into the narrative. Top marks to Lynch for her selling which was consistent throughout, although I think if we'd see Natalya do a bit more damage then it would have warranted the level that Lynch went for. Weirdly, Natalya sold her own leg at the end of match, maybe she just got confused? 

Results 

Tag Team Match: Bayley & Sasha Banks def. Women's Champion Charlotte & Dana Brooke in 7 minutes, 25 seconds.

Six Man Tag Team Match: The Wyatt Family - Braun Strowman, Bray Wyatt & Erick Rowan def. Tag Team Champions The New Day - Big E, Kofi Kingston & Xavier Woods in 8 minutes, 47 seconds 

Singles Match for United States Championship: "The Bulgarian Brute" Rusev (C) (with "The Ravishing Russian" Lana) def. Zack Ryder in 7 minutes, 1 second. 

Singles Match: Sami Zayn def. Kevin Owens in 18 minutes, 22 seconds 

Singles Match: Natalya def. Becky Lynch in 9 minutes, 3 seconds 

Singles Match for Intercontinental Championship: The Miz (C) (with Maryse) v Darren Young (with Bob Backlund) ended in a No Contest after 8 minutes, 41 seconds 

Six Man Tag Team Match: Big Cass, Enzo Amore & John Cena def. The Club - AJ Styles, Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson in 14 minutes, 30 seconds 

Triple Threat Match for WWE Championship: Dean Ambrose (C) def. Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns in 18 minutes, 3 seconds 

Finally...

ATPW Scale Rating - 6.39/10

After a busy week in the WWE, the company produced another good PPV with a strong variety of matches across the card with Battleground. Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens stole the show with their passion and hatred fueled epic, but the three way main event also provided enough thrills and spills to end the show on a high and the semi-main with Enzo & Cass teaming with John Cena against The Club was also a high quality outing with some savvy booking. The mid-card held itself up nicely for the most, with a debut for Bayley, another fun six man between The New Day and The Wyatt Family, a forgivable talking segment between Randy Orton and Chris Jericho and a sleeper bout from Becky Lynch and Natalya. 

Had the Darren Young and Bob Backlund fiasco not been on the show, I'm sure we'd be seeing the years highest PPV rating. 

Content by James Marston.