Showing posts with label Bo Dallas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bo Dallas. Show all posts

Tuesday, 6 February 2018

WWE RAW Review // 5th February 2018


On 5th February 2018, WWE's RAW brand made it's return to Des Moines, Iowa after a three year absence and WWE presented what was a pretty stacked card on paper. You had the RAW Tag Team Championships on the line as Roman Reigns subbed for an injured Jason Jordan to join Seth Rollins in challenging Cesaro & Sheamus, with the stipulation that if Rollins & Reigns lost it would be Rollins last shot at the titles. You had John Cena, Braun Strowman and Elias battling over the chance to enter the Elimination Chamber last on 25th February. And you had Roman Reigns pulling double duty to renew his feud with Bray Wyatt with a spot in the Elimination Chamber on the line. But could the show deliver on its promise? Let's take a sweet-ass look at how it all went down!

RAW Tag Team Championship // Cesaro & Sheamus (C) def. Seth Rollins & Roman Reigns // Disqualification



This week's main event was a solid RAW Tag Team title bout, that was heading into recommended match territory before Jason Jordan (who had been replaced by Roman Reigns after being unable to compete due to injury) interfered and gave Cesaro & Sheamus the disqualification victory. The bout featured good solid tag team foundation sort of stuff, with Reigns operating in the face in peril role, after Sheamus caught a Seth Rollins suicide dive into an Irish curse backbreaker. The crowd were super hot for Rollins to get in the ring from after the ad-break as Cesaro & Sheamus worked over the Big Dog, bringing in a couple of distractions and cut offs to get some heat and build towards the hot tag. Rollins hot tag is bloody brilliant at the moment, he's got a number of moves that are exciting to watch, like the blockbuster and slingblade, and also threw in a couple of suicide dives for good measure, the sequence was full of energy and performed with precision. The fact that this happened in his homestate of Iowa meant the crowd was rocking as well.

The finish was disappointing to see, because the match had began to feel like it was heading in the right direction. In fact, Jordan even coming to ringside (in his ring gear, like a twat), made me groan a little, but I'm pretty sure that was the aim or at least that's where Jordan's character has been heading for the last few months. We did get a lovely series of near falls off of Jordan's interference, with Jordan blocking Cesaro from capitalising on a poke to the eye leading to Rollins getting a two count off a tight small package. Whilst it meant we didn't get the great finishing stretch that I was hoping for, having Jordan cause the disqualification develops the storyline with him and Rollins further, with Rollins doing a sound job of selling his disappointment and frustration with the Illinoisan following the finish. A heated backstage confrontation with Rollins and Jordan being mediated by RAW General Manager Kurt Angle featured some good performances and concluded with Angle sending Jordan home to recover from his neck injury.

Last Entry in Elimination Chamber // Elias def. John Cena and Braun Strowman // Pinfall




The show-closer was relatively short, but did receive a good amount of build-up throughout the show. WWE continued their trend of using hand-held promos, with John Cena and Braun Strowman both getting some time to put themselves over and push the match. Cena's promo was the most interesting, with Strowman's amounting to pretty much "get these hands", as Big Match John, talked about the Road to WrestleMania whilst walking up and down a corridor. Because a road is a bit like a corridor, I suppose. There were highlights of Strowman murdering Kane last week and Elias beating up Cena on RAW 25 as well, before Elias hit the ring to sing us a song. More often than not I enjoy these little ditties and Elias' ramblings about town's being shitholes and the same was the case here. It's fun to see how much the crowd enjoys joining in where Elias allows and hearing the Drifter discuss his hatred of small towns was a blast as well. 

The match wasn't much, but was an easy watch nonetheless. The narrative felt a little blocky, but there was at least a logic to how things went down. Strowman was dominant, Elias and Cena combined to keep him out of the match, Cena and Elias wrestled for a bit, Strowman returned, Elias nicked a pin on Cena following a Strowman running powerslam. The most interesting section of the contest was Strowman taking a barrage of abuse from his two opponents, including a guitar shot from Elias and an Attitude Adjustment onto the steel steps from Cena. There was plenty of spirit at this point, with the crowd on-board, and it made complete sense that this would be happening. The rest of the match then struggled to keep up, Elias and Cena's section was rather dull, mostly consisting of a prolonged chin lock from Elias, with it feel like the two were simply wasting time before the Monster returned. Surely, Elias would want to put his opponent away as quickly as possible before Strowman recovered and would look for power moves rather than a weak looking weardown? After Elias had gotten the win, it was Strowman who ended the show tall, hitting a plethora of running powerslams on both of his fellow Elimination Chamber combatants. 


Elimination Chamber Qualifier // Roman Reigns def. Bray Wyatt // Pinfall



My main positive coming out of this match was that it started the show and the new back-to-back to-camera promo situation that WWE played before the two took to ring. At best I could describe the in-ring action as okay, because whilst I often found myself a little bored, there was also a handful of cool spots (even if these were recycled from their 2015 feud). I had enjoyed the pairs match at Battleground 2015 and thought their subsequent singles matches on TV were at least interesting, but this was often slow and plodding, lacked the thudding physicality of their previous outings and even verged into sloppy territory at points. The crowd seemed to be almost completely lost when both men spent a long time on the mat following a sloppy sitout powerbomb from Reigns, but suddenly began chanting "This is Awesome" after Reigns kicked out of Sister Abigail. If in doubt do a finisher kick-out. It's a shame to see someone kicking out of the move that was so heavily protected on SmackDown last year, especially when I still couldn't bring myself to imagine Wyatt going over Reigns. A spear got the win after Reigns escaped a second Sister Abigail attempt, before Matt Hardy ambushed Wyatt with a Twist of Fate after the match.


Asuka def. Bayley // Submission




This was a mixed bag of a bout, starting strong and finishing brightly, but with a flabby middle that saw Bayley seemingly losing her way slightly. The match structure was well thought out, with Bayley hitting some big moves early, knocking Asuka off the top and sending her into the barricade twice, to allow the Hugger to look like a threat to the undefeated Empress of Tomorrow, before after a period of Asuka dominance the two launched into a lovely finishing stretch, trading pinning combinations and submissions, before Bayley finally submitted to the cross-armbreaker. The main thing that held the match back was Bayley looking out of sorts at times, whether she'd taken a knock of simply wasn't on top of her game I don't know, but a lot of her offence looked sloppy and her feeding and timing both seemed out of sync with what was going on around her. Asuka is now 12-0 in singles competition since moving the main roster.

Elimination Chamber Qualifier // The Miz def. Apollo Crews // Pinfall




A short, but fun match, that's main success was in making Apollo Crews look like a genuine threat to The Miz, despite having not won a singles match on RAW since September. After The Miz had cut a rambling promo about constellations, claiming to have won the Super Bowl for the Philadelphia Eagles and the potential of facing Brock Lesnar, the match was lively throughout and featured a number of very convincing near falls for the former Open the Twin Gate Champion. These included Crews pulling out his old indie finisher, the Uhaa Combination (standing moonsault, followed up by standing shooting star press) for a very late kick-out from the Intercontinental Champion, before also being able to counter the Skull Crushing Finale for an even later escape. The latter was so close that WWE decided to replay the pin in slow motion just to show that the referee had made the right call. I've got a lot of time for Crews and it's nice to see him getting more time to show off his skills, he certainly won't have been hurt by a loss to the Intercontinental Champion, especially with the finish involving Crews getting pushed balls-first onto the top rope! 

Finn Balor & Karl Anderson def. Scott Dawson & Dash Wilder // Pinfall




The booking of The Revival at the moment bothers me. This week's match was announced to involve Finn Balor battling the team's Dash Wilder, only for the former NXT Tag Team Champions to challenge Balor and either Luke Gallows or Karl Anderson to a tag match instead, because they are "tag team specialists". Logic would then dictate that Wilder and Scott Dawson would find a way to win, they had prior knowledge of their plan to make it a tag bout and also Balor and Anderson hadn't tagged up as a duo since 2013 in Tokyo. Coming out claiming to be tag team specialists, only to lose to an unprepared tandem only serves to make The Revival look like utter losers. Maybe this was the plan, they've hardly been booked effectively since being called up. The match itself was technically fine, with a basic tag structure, featuring an Anderson hot tag and a Coup de Grace from Balor to Dawson for the win, but I couldn't get past the short-sighted booking.


Kurt Angle announced the Women's Elimination Chamber competitors




Kurt Angle seemed to channel from General Manager Mick Foley in this segment as he stumbled over his lines as he announced the participants for the Women's Elimination Chamber. At least Foley would've bought a bit of passion to proceedings, because, to be honest, it sounded like Angle both would've preferred to have been anywhere else and wasn't actually familiar with the talent he was announcing for the match. It's difficult to push the idea that women are being treated on the same level as the men, when one; a man is the only person present when the participants are revealed and two; the men's Elimination Chamber has had qualifying matches taking up three weeks of television time. RAW Women's Champion Alexa Bliss' interruption and promo had some good content, which she delivered with conviction, bringing up a number of the flaws with the Women's Evolution and the fact that Brock Lesnar wasn't having to defend his title at the event. If she's being switched face then the promo worked, if this was supposed to be a heel promo it felt a little bit like creative were taking a dig at the women, by having Bliss try to use the movement for her own personal gain. The EC match is Bliss defending her title against Bayley, Mandy Rose, Mickie James, Sonya Deville and Sasha Banks if you were wondering, with Asuka scheduled to face Nia Jax at the event as well. 

Cedric Alexander & Mustafa Ali def. Drew Gulak & Tony Nese // Pinfall




This match was simply here to get new 205 Live General Manager Drake Maverick (formerly Rockstar Spud in Impact Wrestling) out on commentary to get over his character and discuss the ongoing tournament to crown a new Cruiserweight Champion (following Enzo Amore's firing for rape allegations). Maverick did a good job on comms, interacting well with the trio of Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman and Corey Graves, revealing that we could very well see a number of surprises amongst the 16 man field of the Cruiserweight Championship tournament. The match itself was solid filler stuff, a basic tag team match with nothing to play for. Alexander appeared to take a nasty fall on his shoulder after taking a clothesline from Gulak whilst sitting on the top rope, but seemed to be fine later in the bout. A pacy finishing sequence followed the hot tag with Gulak pulling out a wicked lariat on Ali, before Alexander entered the fray once more to seal the win with a Lumbar Check. Personally, I'm not sure why the competitors in tomorrow's tournament matches on 205 Live weren't in this one as a bout pitching opponents Hideo Itami and Roderick Strong against Lince Dorado and Kalisto would've had a little more intrigue and made it easier for commentary to discuss the tournament.  


Mickie James def. Sonya Deville // Pinfall




This match was mostly ugly looking strikes and mild awkwardness. Mickie James hammered Sonya Deville early on, including a shot that seemed to connect directly with Deville's nose, before Deville came flying back with some of her own later on. I love a strong-style clash, but this was more uncomfortable to watch than enjoyable. The little wrestling on display included a horrible looking snapmare attempt from James that seemed to take an absolute age to pull off. James would pull out her first singles win since August, catching Deville with a roll-up to conclude a poor match in just under four minutes. The post-match featured an interesting development as Alexa Bliss saved James from a beat-down from Deville and Absolution stablemates Paige and Mandy Rose. I'm imagining we're going to see Bliss looking to rekindle a partnership with James as an attempt to counter the potential partnerships of Deville & Rose and Sasha Banks & Bayley inside the Elimination Chamber at the end of the month.


Nia Jax def. Vanessa Floyd // Pinfall



A quick squash match for Nia Jax, winning with a leg drop after dominating Vanessa Floyd (seventeen year old Glory Pro trainee Savannah Stone). Post-match, Jax was interviewed and cut a promo on Asuka ahead of their match at Elimination Chamber, threatening to make the Empress of Tomorrow, the Empress of Yesterday in a horrible piece of scripting.  

ATPW Scale Rating // 4.20/10 





Sunday, 4 December 2016

Opinion: Every Modern WWE Theme Ranked - Part 1 or How I Have Too Much Time On My Hands


Something incredible happened at NXT Takeover: Toronto. At the climax of the main event, something happened that no one saw coming. I'm not even talking about Señor Joe becoming the first two-time NXT Champion but for some reason, someone in the tech booth decided to at first play Joe's uniformly agreed terrible first NXT theme music. A theme is important to a good wrestler, think of iconicism of 'Taker's funeral march, Angle's Gold Medal masterpiece, 'I'm a Mountie'. A good theme can be the difference between a good entrance and a great one, it can make a crowd chant your name for years to come but then again, a terrible one can just, well, it stinks up the joint like only an Ass Man or an American Males could. Anyway, today we're going to look at a precise list of the best and worst themes in the modern WWE.

I felt that you all deserve an explanation for the rankings here. The actual rating system is out of 20 with each theme being given a maximum of 10 for how good the song is but also for how appropriate for the character it is. If I can't really work out what the character’s deal is, well, that’s their problem and not mine. Now, there are certain names that aren't included on this list, namely anyone who's signed but yet to debut, re-debut, if they're part of NXT but haven't really done anything of note, (because fuck you, Tino Sabatelli!), if they're part of a team, I'm only including their current music, hence Orton, Harper and Rowan being listed for Wyatts theme (the exception being Cesaro & Sheamus because they currently don't have a joint theme), Managers are considered part of teams, part-timers like 'Taker and The Rock are excluded, anyone who doesn't have their music either on YouTube or Spotify (sorry, Ariya Daivari, my sweet prince) finally certain people aren't included if they aren't actually a contracted member of the WWE roster which is why my way of saying no James Ellsworth. You might have made Jericho's list but you don't make mine Ellsworth. (Editor's Note: But he will make my list of wrestling's weirdest chins, which may or may not be coming soon) If you have a problem with that, go make your own fucking list*. It also just so happens that this system works out with exactly 100 items on the list, what do you know? Here you'll find 100-26 so do keep a look out for part two soon! With all that clear, let's get started:

100. The Hype Bros (Mojo Rawley & Zack Ryder) - Stay Hype, Bro by CFO$

Song - 1/10
Gimmick - 5/10

If the aim of the theme was to create an audio version of Mojo Rawley – the most annoying man in wrestling, then boy did they achieve it. I never want to hear the words ‘hype’ or ‘bro’ again.

99. Alicia Fox - Pa-Pa-Pa-Pa-Party by Jim Johnston

Song - 2/10 
Gimmick - 4/10 

No care or attention has clearly given to it or her by creative.

98. Dario Berenato - Champion State of Mind by CFO$



Song - 4/10
Gimmick - 3/10 

I forgot that she was employed by NXT, mid-way through listening to this song.

97. Aliyah - Fatal Fantasy by CFO$

Song - 4/10 
Gimmick - 3/10 

So is she a heel or a face? I can't decide and clearly the music department can't be bothered to either.

96. Angelo Dawkins - Unknown by CFO$

Song - 4/10 
Gimmick - 5/10 

The curse of a sub-par Lil' B rip-off act.

95. Rosa Mendes - Peligrosa (Dangerous) by CFO$

Song 4/10 
Gimmick 5/10 

I have to give this average character marks as I've never knowingly watched a Rosa Mendez match. The song however, is just total 'aye papi'.

94. Sin Cara - Faceless by CFO$



Song - 5/10 
Gimmick - 4/10

At least, he has his own theme again instead of just sharing 'Lu-cha Lu-cha'.

93. Drew Gulak - Totally Drew by CFO$

Song - 6/10 
Gimmick - 3/10 

Wave Race 64 outtakes do not a character make. The song is pleasant but there is no way of saying if it's suitable for Gulak because there's no evidence so far of a personality for it to reflect.

92. Cesaro - Swiss Made by CFO$

Song - 6/10 
Gimmick - 3/10 

Would be fine for any number of non-Cesaro wrestlers but really not suited for him.

91. Mark Henry - Some Bodies Gonna Get It by Three 6 Mafia

Song - 4/10 
Gimmick - 5/10 

A perfectly adequate theme for a wrestler who seems satisfied to be very adequate these days.

90. Curt Hawkins - Face The Facts by CFO$




Song - 5/10 
Gimmick - 5/10

How to get a returning Curt Hawkins over: Chuck Norris facts and a naff rock style-cover of a Rachet and Clank song.

89. Oney Lorcan - Combative by CFO$

Song - 5/10 
Gimmick - 5/10 

Fine, just fine. It'll do. The former Biff Busick gets music that elicits no reaction beyond, well, yeah. It works, I guess.

88. The Ascension (Konnor & Viktor) - Rebellion by CFO$

Song - 4/10 
Gimmick - 7/10 

It's very much the type of under-produced Pokemon Stadium rock cover that Illuminati War Boys would love.

87. Titus O Neil - Making Moves by Sugar Tongue Slim

Song - 5/10 
Gimmick - 6/10

Making moves works better with his new Titus Brand persona but it's still utterly forgettable.

86. Noam Dar - Weekend Rockstar by CFO$




Song - 5/10 
Gimmick - 6/10 

This song is a good example of the difference between a good theme and a good song. It works well as entrance music but is utterly bland on a sonic level.

85. Nikki Bella - You Can Look (But You Can't Touch) by Kim Sozzi & Jim Johnston

Song - 5/10 
Gimmick - 6/10 

Nikki Bella's theme is the kind of thing that made sense for her in the bra and panties era but she really needs something that more reflects her current 'fearless' persona. Also she needs to reflect her new 'fearless persona'.

84. Bo Dallas - Shoot For The Stars by CFO$

Song - 6/10 
Gimmick - 5/10 

The song itself is fine but is Bo Dallas really inspirational anymore? I don't know if even Bo Bolieves.

83. Jack Swagger - Patriot by CFO$

Song - 6/10 
Gimmick - 5/10 

Jack Swagger is not Kurt Angle. He wants to be and his theme wants to be Kurt's theme (not his TNA theme, no music wants to be that). That said, does he even want to be? He was talking on Smackdown about being a new man. Either way, it's just better than OK.

82. Jinder Mahal - Sher (Lion) by Jim Johnston



Song - 7/10 
Gimmick - 4/10

Mahal's theme is actually shockingly quite good with its Bhangra meets Hip-Hop vibe and a solid gamelan backbeat. It's just a shame that he's stuck with the generic 'heel foreigner' vibe. It would be nice if just once someone like Mahal could be given something other than 'evil alternative religious practitioner' as a character.

81. Lince Dorado - Golden Rush by CFO$

Song - 8/10 
Gimmick - 3/10 

The Golden Lynx gets one of the biggest and best riffs in modern WWE with some balls to the wall solo freakout work to make Metallica worry that CFO$ have outdone them. It's just a shame that creative haven't given us time to see Lince as even half as awesome as his theme.

80. Authors of Pain (Akam & Rezar) - Pain by CFO$

Song - 4/10 
Gimmick - 8/10 

It's not very good but it does fit their 'Ockam's Razor' everything's straightforward and simple thing.

79. Brock Lesnar - Next Big Thing (Remix) by Jim Johnston

Song - 4/10 
Gimmick - 8/10 

He's a big lad with a big song but lets be honest, it's a bit shite.

78. Elias Samson - Drift by CFO$



Song - 6/10 
Gimmick - 6/10 

He's the drifter and this song drifts by quite nicely. Much like the man himself, not nearly as threatening as it needs to be but pretty consistently better than average.

77. Liv Morgan - Livin' Large by CFO$

Song - 6/10 
Gimmick - 6/10 

Like everything Morgan seems to do, her theme is above competent and eminently listenable but much like her 'no guys I'm not Carmellla, we're very different people act', it's just good not great.

76. Andrade Almas - Making a Difference by CFO$

Song - 6/10 
Gimmick - 6/10 

'The Idol, making a difference, those of today, those of the moment, the Space Sentinel, the Shadow, one hundred souls, calm'.

75. Billie Kay - Femme Fatale by CFO$

Song - 6/10 
Gimmick - 6/10 

I have no real feelings on this one but Kay's a talented, young wrestler whose selling the 'femme fatale' character better than she has any need to.

74. Nia Jax - Force of Greatness by CFO$



Song - 6/10 
Gimmick - 6/10 

Did you know that Nia Jax isn't like most girls? I did. I listened really closely and I found that out. A good theme in need of better lyrics.

73. Sheamus - Hellfire by CFO$

Song - 7/10 
Gimmick - 5/10 

So he's Irish right? And he likes to fight? Tell us something you didn't already tell us about Fit Finlay (beyond being the other type of Irish).

72. Dolph Ziggler - Here to Show The World by Downstait & Jim Johnston

Song - 7/10 
Gimmick - 5/10 

Zeggnog's theme gets bonus points for actually being a song with a chorus, a bridge and everything. It loses marks for being objectively horrible and far more suitable for the Ziggler it debuted with years back and not the crusty, millennial hating 'veteran' we have today.

71. Dana Brooke - Respectful by CFO$

Song - 7/10 
Gimmick - 5/10 

The song is good if you like not-quite Paramore but Brooke isn't really as threatening or unstoppable as the song makes her out to be.

70. Darren Young - Great Again by Jim Johnston



Song - 7/10 
Gimmick - 5/10 

This song isn't even about Darren Young, it's more about Bob Backlund. That said Backlund finding his inner Trent Reznor is pretty great.

69. Heath Slater & Rhyno - More Than One Man (with Just One Man intro) by Jim Johnston

Song - 7/10 
Gimmick - 5/10 

Heath is no longer a one-man band or a three man band (unless a manbeast = two men?) so as fun a sliced of southern fried rock as Heath's theme is, it really needs a lyrical retool if Rhyno is sticking around even for a few more weeks.

68. SAniTY (Alexander Wolfe, Damian O'Connor, Eric Young, Nikki Cross & Sawyer Fulton) - Controlled Chaos by CFO$

Song - 5/10 
Gimmick - 8/10

This song would be a lot higher on the list if it didn't have its 'spoooky' laugh section, also if it wasn't just a combination of noises. Crazy stuff.

67. TM-61 (Nick Miller & Shane Thorne) - Stand Tall by CFO$

Song - 6/10 
Gimmick - 7/10 

They are the Mighty and The Mighty Don't Kneel. With their catchphrase like a Dragonball-Z group, their theme like an Anime title sequence and their time spent in NOAH, there is a certain synergy here. Sadly, not a particularly memorable theme from a team yet lacking an NXT star-making performance.

66. Mick Foley - Wreck V2 by Jim Johnston



Song - 6/10 
Gimmick - 7/10 

To steal a gag from everyone else, his theme works because every time Foley comes out now it's car crash television.

65. American Alpha (Chad Gable & Jason Jordan) - Elite by CFO$

Song - 6/10 
Gimmick - 7/10 

Has that modern Kurt Angle vibe and some nice guitar noodling but a bit generic.

64. Curtis Axel - Reborn by CFO$

Song - 7/10 
Gimmick - 6/10 

Why do all the children of superstars need remixes of their themes? Let them forge their own Linkin Park-inspired legacies.

63. Tony Nese - Win it All by CFO$

Song - 7/10 
Gimmick - 6/10 

The Premier Athlete is up there with Lynch and Zayn in the best theme 'whoah's. Just a little under-produced and his character under-developed.

62. Cedric Alexander - Won't Let Go by CFO$



Song - 7/10 
Gimmick - 6/10 

A lovely theme let down by generic lyrics plus beyond charismatic, talented wrestler, who is he?

61. Wesley Blake - Ahead by Klooz & Sylvain Lux

Song - 8/10 
Gimmick - 5/10

Who is Wesley Blake? Now he's not a Dubstep Dickhead, is he just a dickhead?

60. Apollo Crews - Cruise Control by CFO$

Song - 9/10 
Gimmick - 4/10 

A fantastic song for a fantastic wrestler who needs like, just one character trait beyond he smiles most of the time.

59. Braun Strowman - I Am Stronger by CFO$

Song - 5/10 
Gimmick - 9/10 

See my comments about Lesnar but with added roaring because if you've forgotten, he's a big lad with a big roar.

58. Patrick Clark - Player Hater by CFO$




Song - 6/10 
Gimmick - 8/10 

Patrick Clark has become Prince. In his head. Sadly in reality, his theme is more Mii Maker but either way, a valiant effort that suits the man well.

57. Kalisto - Lucha Lucha by CFO$

Song - 6/10 
Gimmick - 8/10 

Lu-cha, lu-cha, lu-cha, lu-cha, lu-cha, lu-cha, lu-cha, lu-cha. Good, erm... things.

56. The Golden Truth (Goldust & R-Truth) - What's Up? (The Golden Truth Remix) by Ron Killings

Song - 6/10 
Gimmick - 8/10 

I mean, yeah, it works. It's not great and it's far more R-Truth than Goldust but its fun I guess if you like that kind of thing.

55. Buddy Murphy - Opposite Ends of The World by CFO$

Song - 6/10 
Gimmick - 8/10 

He's still a dubstep dickhead and he should never change, just a shame the song gets boring after about 45 seconds.

54. The Big Show - Crank it Up by Brand New Sin



Song - 7/10 
Gimmick - 7/10 

A big Ol' lumbering slice of rawk for the big bear of a man. His theme does appropriately move at about the same pace as 'Show in the ring.

53. Roman Reigns - The Truth Reigns by Jim Johnston

Song - 7/10 
Gimmick - 7/10 

The most notable thing about the recording of this is how different it sounds without the chorus of disapproval over it. Still, a pretty solid theme that would work a lot better if it didn't have all its Shield connotations making Reigns seem stuck in the past.

52. Charlotte Flair - Recognition by CFO$

Song - 7/10 
Gimmick - 7/10

I repeat what I said about Axel but at least Charlotte plays into it a bit more.

51. Natalya - New Foundation by Jim Johnston

Song - 7/10 
Gimmick - 7/10 

Once more, but with uncles instead of fathers. Despite Jim Neidhart being a good wrestler in his own right, it's Uncle Bret who Natalya is stuck dragging the albatross of nostalgia for.

50. Summer Rae - Rush of Power by CFO$



Song - 7/10 
Gimmick - 7/10 

A better than average for a significantly better than average wrestler. Get well soon, Summer, I want that team BFF Triple Threat even more than I wanted the Shield one.

49. Carmella - Fabulous by CFO$

Song - 7/10 
Gimmick - 7/10 

The 'we didn't want to pay for the rights to Iggy Azalea's Fancy vibe works for her. Whether that's a good or bad thing, who knows?

48. Austin Aries - Ambition and Vision by CFO$

Song - 7/10 
Gimmick - 7/10 

His theme works better for him now he's firmly heel but the track loop edit is really damn jarring.

47. Paige - Stars in The Night by CFO$

Song - 7/10 
Gimmick - 7/10 

A solid singalong anthem and some appropriate lyrics for the young division firestarter. Sadly probably not going to be heard again in a WWE arena as she doesn't seem to want to be there and the WWE seem to want rid of her.

46. The Usos (Jey Uso & Jimmy Uso) - Done With That by CFO$



Song - 8/10 
Gimmick - 6/10 

Great beat, possibly the best in modern WWE but beyond being evil now, what are their characters? And why do they keep being described as 'urban'?

45. Enzo Amore & Big Cass - SAWFT is a Sin by CFO$ ft. Enzo Amore

Song - 5/10 
Gimmick - 10/10 

Now before you complain, I'm basing this on just the theme. Stripped from Amore's trademark entrance speech, the song is a bit of a mess and Amore is many things but a rapper he is not. That said, the cocky 'Noo Joysey' stylings are put 'Zo and Cass which helps it out.

44. Kane - Veil of Fire by Jim Johnston

Song - 7/10 
Gimmick - 8/10 

Kane enters the ring to a 90's Slasher movie theme which is appropriate as that's basically his character. The theme has a lot of nice touches to it and the guitar work is some of the best on any theme but really much like Kane himself, it seems a bit too dated to work in modern WWE.

43. William Regal - Regality by Jim Johnston

Song - 8/10 
Gimmick - 6/10 

This music was perfect for heel Regal and still works to an extent at establishing his imperious, former bruiser turned fair authority guy persona but it seems like it's not the right theme for such a firmly good character. That said, it's not 'He's a Man's Man'.

42. Breezango (Fandango & Tyler Breeze) - Breezango by CFO$




Song - 7/10 
Gimmick - 8/10 

Tag Team mash-up songs are great and the blend works well but it’s to heavy on the ‘Dango and needs more Breeze raps. He's everything that you are not.

41. Becky Lynch - Celtic Invasion by CFO$

Song - 7/10 
Gimmick - 8/10 

It works as part of her goofy charm, remember she's not actually a steampunk character but someone who just likes that stuff. And the Dropkick Murphys I assume.

40. Dean Ambrose - Retaliation by CFO$

Song - 7/10 
Gimmick - 8/10 

Dean's theme is the kind of big riff heavy number designed to explode stadiums and boy does it work in that environment. It's just a shame that listening to it in your own home, it doesn't quite sustain extended listening.

39. Eva Marie - Time to Rise by CFO$

Song - 7/10 
Gimmick - 8/10 

This one would be about twenty places lower on the list without that voiceover. As it is, it's an alright piece of skittery pop background nonsense but the booming voicer telling us how great Eva Marie is, it just makes the song. Honestly, if the voiceover guy could be brought in to guest commentate all her matches as well. If she ever has one again.

38. The New Day (Big E, Kofi Kingston & Xavier Woods) - New Day, New Way by Jim Johnston



Song - 7/10 
Gimmick - 8/10 

Much like RAW roster-mates Enzo and Cass, this theme is less impressive taken away from the mic-laden fun of New Day's entrance but it's still an enjoyable slice of gospel flecked pacy nonsense that fits the Booty-O loving unicorns almost to a tee.

37. Shining Stars (Epico & Primo) - Shining Star by Jim Johnston

Song - 8/10 
Gimmick - 7/10 

Everyone’s favourite wrestling timeshare salesmen get a really good beat that befits their evil Caribbean Pyramid scheme.

36. Hideo Itami - Tokiwakita (Time Has Come) by CFO$

Song - 8/10 
Gimmick - 7/10 

NXT's Japanese glass shit kicker has a theme of such magnitude that it's a shame the man keeps getting injuries that stop us hearing it more regularly. The only thing keeping this theme from entering the upper echelons is that since joining NXT we don't really know enough about Itami beyond what the theme tells us: he's Japanese, he's hardcore as fuck. For quite a few that's enough. 

35. Stephanie McMahon - Welcome to The Queendom by Jacki-O

Song - 8/10 
Gimmick - 7/10 

Essentially an extended fan wank to Steph but certainly a fun one.

34. Neville - Break Orbit by CFO%



Song - 8/10 
Gimmick - 7/10 

This is a different situation to most of the themes here as the  heavy House sounds of his theme perfectly suit his fast-paced, combustible in-ring style but to call it part of his gimmick is to imply he has been given any chance to develop character on the main roster.

33. Daniel Bryan - Flight of the Valkyries by Jim Johnston

Song - 6/10 
Gimmick - 10/10 

Daniel Bryan is one of the most underrated actors of the WWE and the Yes! Movement and Flight of the Valkyries are inseparable. That said, it doesn't stop the actual arrangement of the song being a bit uninteresting with some surprisingly weak mixing and a main guitar part that should soar but just kind of is. Great ending shred though.

32. #DIY (Johnny Gargano & Tommaso Ciampa) - Chrome Hearts by CFO$

Song - 6/10 
Gimmick - 10/10 

Gargs and Ciamps theme is generic indie rock music but really its the best thing for them. These are two indie guys who came into NXT with no creative behind them and got over with nothing but skill and personality. It's the perfect theme for them but not the perfect song.

31. Baron Corbin - Superhuman by CFO$

Song - 7/10 
Gimmick - 9/10 

This seems exactly the kind of wank-metal Corbin would listen to while riding his bike around, trying not to worry about his shrinking hairline and his place on the Survivor Series PPV being taken by Hot Dad Shane.

30. Rusev - Рев на лъвът (Roar of the Lion) by CFO$



Song - 8/10 
Gimmick - 8/10

A big, bombastic theme for the Bulgarian Brute. He’s only let down by its further reliance on 'evil Eastern European' tropes.

29. The Club (Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson) - Omen in The Sky by CFO$

Song - 8/10 
Gimmick - 8/10 

Nearly a proper song with production and a hair metal chorus and everything. Just lacks that certain something.

28. The Vaudevillains (Aiden English & Simon Gotch) - Voix de Vile by CFO$

Song - 8/10 
Gimmick - 8/10 

Accurately captures the vaudeville style, goes with their gimmick very well, even if the transition into the evil theme isn't absolutely seamless.

27. Ember Moon - Free The Flame by CFO$ ft. Lesley Roy

Song - 8/10 
Gimmick - 8/10 

From the Led Zeppelin inspired drums and guitar lines through the lyrics speaking of blood moons being eclipsed, this is an appropriately epic theme for such a promising talent. It just avoids being an all-time great with a slightly anaemic vocal but it suggests great things are planned.

26. Alexa Bliss - Spiteful by CFO$



Song - 8/10 
Gimmick - 8/10 

From Sparkle Splash to Twisted Bliss via the Dubstep Dickheads, watching the rise of Alexa in the Women's Division has been wonderful. It helps that her current theme is way better than Blake and Murphy's, it lacks a certain spark to push it up higher though.

*Update: So Elsworth has officially signed a WWE contract. That said, I'm not changing the article because I'm really proud of it and it teaches you all an important lesson, even the purest intentions are fallible. Nothing's perfect, kid. Everything's rigged, the man who shaved Vince's head is President. And I swore I wouldn't even start to talk politics in this one.

(Editor's Note - Have a picture of Alexa Bliss to close things out, she's got the 26th best theme in WWE right now)




Words - Jozef Raczka (@NotJozefraczka)
Images, Videos & Editing - James Marston (@IAmNotAlanDale)

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